WARNING: Reading this post could be very traumatic if you are a guy. Or a girl. Especially if you are my family member or a church member. Just sayin'. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Let's pretend for a moment that I am not a mother of 3 or a preacher's wife. Let's just pretend that I am a normal person who has to do things like say, buy underwear. Okay.
So, this is the thing. Despite the fact that I spent 16 years of my life performing in dance recitals where I was wearing very little clothing and despite the fact that I have birthed 3 children during which time entire shifts of nurses wandered through my room making lunch plans as I pushed a human being into the world, I am still extremely modest. Like, buying underwear embarrasses me. I have no idea why. Well, I say I have no idea why, but I think this weekend reminded me.
You see, mine and Josh's anniversary is coming up and I thought that I would buy, ahem, somthing new. I thought it would be safe. I went late at night. The store was basically empty. I chose my garments and rolled them up as much as I could to try and conceal them as I made my way to the checkout. No one else was in line. *Sigh of relief*.
I thought it would be just fine. This lady could just discreetly ring up my item, put it in a bag as soon as possible and tell me to have a nice day. Nothing to it. WRONG. She HOLDS IT UP to ask if I want the hanger. I tell her no. Then she says, "That's sexy." I giggled nervously while turning 85 shades of red. Again she asked if I wanted the hanger and I told her no again and she proceeds to spend 48 minutes taking it off the hanger while still holding it up in the air. I was convinced at this point the item would go straight to the bag and I could pay and get the heck out of there. No. While she was taking 20 minutes to scan the tag she again says, "That's sexy." I was finally able to speak and told her I was very sure it would not look very sexy on me. Which made me wonder why in the world I was standing there putting myself through all of this in the first place. *Sigh*
At this point I thought our little exchange was complete until the lady checking me out started telling me about what her significant other wanted her to wear. I started looking around for hidden cameras. I was sure I was on one of those candid camera shows. She then said, "I don't know what American men like." I was quick to assure her that I myself do not have experience with what an entire country of men prefer,either. I found myself replying, "I guess all men are different" and then mentally kicking myself. Really, was I having this conversation with a complete stranger at JCPenney? Seriously? FINALLY, the purchase was complete and I was headed on my merry way.
Please, tell me, does this happen to anybody else? Do you find yourself in such conversations while purchasing items of a sensitive nature? Finally, why do these things always happen to me?!?!?
7 comments:
I'm a modest gal too... but I LOVE cute 'delicates' so I do my best to grab & go in that department. I sometimes try to stuff them under a bigger more sensible T-Shirt, Nightgown type purchase while I finish shopping but then I worry about a salesperson thinking I'm shoplifting. I wouldn't suggest my method.. the last thing we want to read is about you getting picked up for shoplifting lingerie at JCPenny! ;)
On a similar note.. the absolute BEST relief for mosquito bites is Preparation H and I am mortified every time I make that special little summer purchase.
:)
I thought I was the only one who was like that! I don't even like shopping for new bras, and somehow get conned into by Baby Girl to go to of all places "Victoria's Secret" wear in my humble opinion, nothing is a secret! However, all men are the same when it comes to the "bedroom thingy" and some would say that wearing your "birthday" suit is just fine!
How about when I was pregnant with Adalyn and had no intentions of being so, I had to go buy a pregnancy test. I was already nervous because it was,not planned...ahem. So at the checkout I always buy something else to stack casually on top of the test so no one will see it, even hide it in the buggy under some other stuff. The lady in front of me hasn't left when the cashier starts ringing me up and she announces to EVERYONE in Target..."Oh LORD help me if I EVER need one of THOSE again!" As the cashier laughs and continues an entire conversation about my secret pregnancy test!
This is sooooo funny! Sweetheart, you have just got to get published. Love Ya
Lol sounds just like you Emily. I use to feel the same way until I worked for the Victoria Secret Catalog for a couple of years in college. Once you learn that you can't say "underwear" you must say "panties" and have people describing their figure to you in vivid color you don't get embarrassed as easily.
Ok I have to tell this story even though I think I am blushing just thinking of it, it was our anniversary as well and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some strawberries, chocolate, rose petals and a umm BIG bow...Well could not find the bow so I asked a lady in the craft department, she looked at the stuff in my hand then had this weird smile on her face, I just said nevermind and booked it out of there. Hope that makes you feel alittle better :)
Lauran, can't you just see my blogging from jail? Standing in court to confess to stealing lingerie????? That would be in the news for years around here!!!! ;)
Between this post and on FB, this is my most commented on blog. I'm glad I'm not alone in this problem. From now on, I'm going to take Amber's advice and just wear a bow!!!!!!!!!!! bahahahahaha!!!
Post a Comment