This is Why We Have No Social Life

Guess my blogger's block is broken. Two posts in two days. Am I scaring y'all? Well, I just had to tell you about our experience yesterday before I forget any important details. And what I mean by important details are things like me asking, "Did you drop your chicken?" and things like that. You'll see.

So, yesterday the Fidler 5 did something we don't attempt often. We attempted to be social. The thing is, we stay pretty busy, but it usually revolves around church or the dance studio or t-ball. We just don't have much of a social life. Today I was reminded why. Josh told me Wednesday night that we had been invited to our music minister's farm to celebrate his birthday. A hard thing about being in ministry is choosing events to attend. We obviously can't attend every church member's birthday or family reunion or whatever else might be going on. But, we really wanted to attend this birthday party and celebrate with our music minister as he has been such a big help to us.

We started off by leaving an hour later than planned. Classy. I kept asking Josh what time the party was and he just kept saying, "Afternoon". Now, I'm not necessarily a super planner, need every detail kind of person, but, I don't know what the heck "afternoon" means. Do you? Anyway, we got on the road for the hour long trip and it was actually really pleasant. It rained on us for a minute, then it was gorgeous, the kids behaved and I was almost blissful. A weather warning came on the radio, but it was for a different county and when I said that meant it would hit us in a couple of hours Josh said it was headed in the opposite direction. I commented how glad I was the air was fixed because how miserable would this be if we couldn't roll the windows down? We drove for forever and a day. We finally found the road we were looking for and we later found out it had been paved all of 4 days. That would turn out to be very important. We eventually came to the dirt road we were supposed to go down, and y'all, it was so bumpy it knocked a wire loose and turned the air off!!!!!!!! We literally traveled to the ends of the earth and came to a dirt road that went 3 different directions. A "Choose your own adventure" so to speak. The one we chose took us right back where we started. Fun times. Josh finally just called Bro. Tom and we were soon getting out of the jeep and heading to the party.

We were told that everybody was down at the swimming hole. I didn't know there was a swimming hole. Another detail I missed out on. We didn't have swimsuits. Everybody told us we could just swim in our clothes and I knew once the kids heard that it would not matter what 80 million other excuses I came up with, they were swimming! We walked down a hill and found the coolest swimming hole ever. It was a creek that he had set up with a pool slide, pool ladder and rope swing. He even had a paddle boat! That was the only way they got me in. I rolled up my capris and hopped in that  thing. The rudder was broken so we used a shovel to steer. Ya might be a redneck...... :)  Josh and I somehow ended up with our 3 kids and some other little boy I've never met in my life headed down the  creek in a paddle boat. It was lots of fun.

Soon Kate had to go to the bathroom so we headed back up to the camphouse. I don't really know how to explain it. It's kind of an open air building with screening and big fans. It did have a bathroom and a kitchen. We ended up hanging out there for a while and visiting. Eventually everybody made there way back from the swimming hole and just in time! The BOTTOM.FELL.OUT! I was having a conversation and literally could not finish it because the rain was so loud on the tin roof. The power flickered on and off. We ate cake. The kids ate enough chicken wings to make them cluck. The weather just kept getting worse. It was lightening and I just kept thinking, 'It can't be safe for us to be sitting in metal chairs.' Then, I wondered what would happen if lightening hit a tin roof? And I wished I had paid more attention in science class. Anyway, Eli FREAKED OUT. I mean, screaming, carrying on freaked out. We kept trying to distract him and entertain him. Kate kept asking when they were going to open presents and I kept telling her it wasn't that kind of party. It finally got to the point that Eli was so upset we either had to leave or sedate him. We didn't have any tranquilizers so Josh took off in the pouring rain to get our jeep. I just kept thinking the air wasn't working and we would have to ride back with the windows up. Turns out Josh fixed the air and that we had left the windows down and the jeep was drenched anyway! We rode back with the heater on!!!!

It felt like it took Josh forever to come get us. When he came back he was SOAKED. The kids started running and I started apologizing to everyone for the drama of our traumatized child. I grabbed Kate and took off running. No easy feat, mind you. I practically threw her in the jeep and by this point she and Eli were both having hysterical crying fits. Eli was still scared. I really didn't think Kate was. That child is fearless. I asked her, "Did you drop your chicken wing?" And I immediately died laughing because the fact that dropping a chicken wing could cause such a fit of emotion most certainly proves she shares a significant amount of DNA with me. She said no, but was still inconsolable. I asked her again what was wrong. Still in hysterics she answered, "I wanted to see him open his presents!"  Bless her heart. Life is hard when you're 3.

I was still laughing at the thought of me haulin' my child through the rain with her chicken wing, when I realized....the jeep was stuck. In the mud. I mean, could not move. All I could do was laugh. Thankfully two of the men came out to push us out. And it was in that moment that I realized exactly why we have no social life. Between the anxiety attack and having to pushed out of the mud, not to mention my kids eating all the chicken wings, I think it is just safer if we stay home. Not only is it safer, but it is likely. I mean, who is going to invite us anywhere? Maybe if we check the weather report and promise to bring our own chicken??????