A Smelly Tuesday

I need to talk, y'all. It's been a day. First, we ran out of everything. I mean, EVERY.THING. I've been so past due for a run to town,  but that's a 45 minute trip for us and with our schedules and 3 youngins, I liken it to having to giddy up the horses and hook up the wagon. Okay, maybe I'm a little dramatic. Anyway, let me tell you what I was out of. Laundry detergent, shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, perfume and toothpaste. Well, I wasn't completely out of toothpaste, but it was at the "put it on the floor and jump on it to get the last squeeze" phase. That's a bad combo of things to be out of, don't ya think? 

So, my plan was to run to the bank, run by CVS and pick up laundry detergent, run home, throw a load of clothes in, then run to Panama City where I had to run by 5 stores. And seriously, I mean run, because I had to get back in time for my classes this afternoon. Well, I followed that plan, but let me tell you, I did it in a monsoon. I am not even kidding. I got SOAKED. I literally looked like I had just washed my hair. Which of course I hadn't, because I was out of shampoo and conditioner, remember? After I ran home to do a load of laundry I realized I really needed gas. Like, bad. I had to stop at our closest station which just happens to be 15 cents more expensive than anywhere else in the free world. I waded through the parking lot to pay and the lady reminded me that she couldn't set the pump. Guess what that meant? Yep, I went over 3 cents. So, I waded back inside to drop off my pennies.

My first shopping stop was very successful. I found things I needed and got on out of there. Then, I went to T.J. Maxx to look for the perfect jeans. I am always searching for the perfect jeans. Well, apparently jeans are not something other people are looking for right now unless they are in junior sizes. I found ONE pair of jeans in my size and they were on clearance for $15! Woo-hoo! I had another hallelujah moment when they were just a tad loose in the waist. I looked at the tag and realized they were actually a size smaller than I have been wearing! I would have done a toe touch or a cartwheel had there been room, but there wasn't. Before you hate me or think I'm bragging, I must tell you that I had just suffered a traumatic jeans experience with a pair that were a size BIGGER and wouldn't come up over my calf muscles. So go figure. I've given up on trying to figure out sizes. I just celebrate when I find a pair that will fit over my hips. Because let me tell you, I have learned that it does not matter what size  I am, I'm still the same shape. As in, I have one and  most jeans seem designed for people who are built like stick figures. Is it just me? I have lost a good bit of weight, but it can still be discouraging. My sister and I  have had many discussions about the fact that after  you have a baby you may lose the weight, but it don't look the same. Know what I'm sayin'? Don't get me wrong, I've seen those girls who have children and then just pop right back into shape. And I spend much time in prayer that I will not grow bitter towards them. Obviously  they didn't crave honey buns during their pregnancies. Or, they are just genetically designed that way. And I'm okay with that. I was blessed with the ability to make lasagne and remember every song from the 80's and other women are born with perfect bodies. It's cool. It all works out, right?

So, my next stop was for perfume. For senior prom I wore Rapture from Victoria's Secret and it is absolutely Josh's favorite. I just know that one day they are going to discontinue it and I always feel like I should stockpile. At armegeddon some people will have food, I will have perfume. Anyway, I hate going in Victoria's Secret. Does anybody else? I used to be embarrassed, but now I'm just annoyed. Again, I planned to run in, run out. All was great until the lady in front of me had two gift cards and 83 pairs of underwear and two seperate transactions and who knows what else was going on up there. I just knew I stood in line for at least 10 minutes (which equals 5 hours in line standing time) and I was SO thankful I did not have an armful of skimpy skivies like the lady behind me. Now, don't get me wrong, I like the things in Victoria's Secret. And yes, even preacher's wives have to wear underwear. I just get annoyed by all of the women in the ads all over the place. I use to just feel bad for what a visual assault it is for guys who might actually try NOT to look at half-naked women. But, as I stood in line staring at a pic of one of those girls who got the perfect body gene, I also felt frustrated for all the women. Because honestly, none of us in the store look like her. Where are the models that say, "Here is what your mummy tummy will look like in these panties" or "This is the best bra to lift up what gravity and nursing have done wrong."  Perhaps a new campain could be "Fittings for the Freshman 15". I don't know. I just had to spend way too much time hanging out in VS today.

Finally, I got out of there and made my last few stops. And I sprayed myself with perfume out of kindness for those I would encounter in the next few stores. I got home just in time to get ready to head to the studio for my afternoon classes. When I got there I was assaulted. For real. I had girls run up to me and stick their hands in my face. They were using nail polish that is scented and wanted me to smell. Fabulous. I assured them I could smell it without them sticking their fingers up my nose. All during tap class I would look up and all the girls would have their fingers up to their nose sniffing them. Took me back in time.

Pic courtesy of PhotoBucket

BTW, someone once told me I reminded them of her, and that they didn't mean that in a bad way. I just still haven't figured out how they could mean it in a good way.....

On a more serious note, this is a tough week for us at the dance studio. Our studio owner has decided to move back closer to her family. Barbie will take over and the studio will be fine, but I am just seriously sad and going to miss her and her girls. It has come to my attention that everyone here that I grow to love or become friends with ends up moving. I'm starting to get a complex. Maybe I just really needed some new deodorant......