Thursday, January 20, 2011

You Do The Hokie Pokie and You Hope the Jeep Will Start.....

The good news is that Kate made a road trip without having an accident. The bad news is I just reached behind a couch pillow looking for Josh's phone and picked up a 4 day old baked potato. Actually, that's not the really bad news. That's the random, totally happened as I was writing this, totally the perfect ending to this day bad news. The really bad news is that my Jeep is spending the night alone in the school parking lot. Deader than a dern doornail.

You see, usually Josh picks the kids up in the afternoon so I have time to get ready for my dance classes. Not today. Josh came, determined it was the starter, piled us all in his Monte Carlo and we headed home for me to change. He then gave me the option of taking the monte or the church van to dance. I vetoed the van as I don't have much experience with vehicles of that size and imagined myself taking out a city block trying to turn. So, I ended up in the monte. Ugh......I really don't want to sound ungrateful. I know I should be thankful we have another vehicle. But you have to understand. The door handle on the driver side is broken, so you have to climb through the passenger side. Then, you crank it up and wake up people 2 states over from their naps. Josh loves that particular feature. I admit it still gives me the little fuzzy feelings in my tummy when I hear the car coming down the street, just like when were dating in college. But, being IN the car....well, I don't know if it was my headache I've had for 5 days now or the frustration already growing in me, but I wasn't feeling anything fuzzy. Then, I realized there is something horribly wrong with the power steering. As in, there is none. I honestly became concerned I would not be able to turn. I almost had to stand up as I put all of my strength into it. I also have to practically stand up on the brakes to stop the car. Today, I fully understood why it is called a muscle car. And I also realized that I just don't have the muscle. Josh also enjoys being stopped at red lights and admiring looks other guys give his car. Well, I wasn't in the mood for that either. I made it to the dance studio without taking out any other cars. Oh yeah, did I mention that after you scoot over to the passenger side to get out you have to roll down the window and open the door from the OUTSIDE?  Will you believe me if I tell you I was exhausted before I even got to class?

Thankfully we had a really calm, easy day at dance. When class ended Josh was there. He had gone to get the starter out of the Jeep and he was going to follow me home. Well, all that meant was that he got to witness me being unable to turn the steering wheel as I backed out of the parking spot. I had to do a 45 point turn to finally get the car going the direction it needed to. I wouldn't look at Josh because I knew he was laughing at me and I would have fo sho given him the stank eye. I drove home, crawled to the passenger seat, rolled down the window, opened the door, rolled the window back up and got in the church van with Josh and the kids to head to Auto Zone. Twenty minutes into our trip and we were at a dead stop. Traffic backed up for miles. The air force base was launching drones. I have no idea what that means, but that's what Josh told me. We eventually made our way to Auto Zone where I hung out with bored youngins while Josh took the starter in. He came back carrying.....our starter. As Eli would say, "What the what?" He said that the guy hooked it up to the machine thingy and it was still good. So we made a 45 minute trip for nothing.

Never one to pass up a chance to not have to cook we decided to get some supper while we were there. We have done so good about not eating out as much, but tonight I was definitely grateful to eat anything I didn't have to cook (or serve or heat up or clean up or put away or.....you get the picture). Kate was in pj's (long story) and Josh was covered in grease. I went in the bathroom and took off my leotard that was under my clothes and ended up carrying it around. We were quite a crew. We ended up at Arby's and had a special family time that seemed to make up for the rest of the stinkiness of the day. I may have told y'all that when I was in high school I was the president of a club my friends and I started called SAC (Singles Anonymous Club). Anyway, it ended up being ironic that we would have our meetings at Arby's and Josh and his friends would always be there. Who knew the president of SAC's future husband was enjoying some curly fries just a few booths over? It was almost surreal to look across the restaurant at the table our 3 kids were saving for us. They would wave and smile and Eli would give me a thumbs up. We actually had a very nice time together and I was amazed how one place could hold so many memories. Across the street was the laundromat we took a brand new baby Eli to when our washer went out. And a Pizza Hut where we spent many Sunday nights after church. And Winn-Dixie. Yep, THAT Winn-Dixie. :)
Anyway, it was just a fun family supper and we decided we had  really needed a night together like that.

Feeling a little more upbeat we headed back to fix the Jeep. And by we, I mean Josh. We stopped at Dollar General for some things and Josh ran in. I was again in the church van with children who were bored to the point of doing the hokie pokie while sitting down and singing "If Your Happy and You Know It". I wasn't exactly happy at this point, but I was deliriously tired enough to sing along. Anyone observing me sitting in the front seat of the church van tonight probably came to the conclusion that I was a special needs case being taken to a treatment center by the preacher.

It was very dark, cold and late by the time we made it back to the Jeep. Josh crawled under the Jeep on the wet ground. Of course I had parked in a spot where a big rain puddle had gathered. Josh hooked the starter back up. Still didn't work. He did something to the battery. Still didn't start. I finally felt what it must be like to be one of our children as he told me 55 times "Okay, try it one more time." Nothing.

So, we headed home. I'm still wearing my ballet tights under my jeans and my hair in a bun. I've told Kate to go to bed approximately 34 times. Josh will soon be getting on the computer to research relays and flywheels and all manner of things I don't understand. I'm going to finish my Diet Pepsi, take some aspirin and get a bath. Then, beofre getting in bed I may do some push- ups.  Right now my transportation options are the muscle car or pushing the jeep. Either way, I'm going to need some upper body strength.

6 comments:

Lori said...

I love how you can make days that would have other people pouting and pulling their hair out sound like so much fun!! You just make people wanna hang out with you guys:) I do hope you get to DRIVE the Jeep soon though!

Marcia said...

lol-what a day!

Blessings,
Marcia

Carol said...

I wish I had your talent for turning a rotten day into a riot and words into a wonderfully hilarious menagerie. Blessings on you Emily!

Karen said...

Wow! After your day, thanks for having the energy to listen to my rant last night. Love you! :)

Cindi Dailey said...

Wow what an evening! Just some Arby's trivia - Curly fries came out in 1988. Longest curly fry measured 2feet. Funny what you learn when you watch food network! :)

Melody said...

Cracking up once again. Love your writing style. It's refreshing. Your car woes are similar to ours. It keeps us humble but I figured by now I'd passed that test and was wanting to be tested in the area of "can she handle a nice car with leather seats without becoming prideful." I am dying for that test to come along right about now. ha!