Saturday, January 15, 2011

Nothing Compares

Well, it is the 15th and the day that I appointed to choose a new memory verse. For those of you who are joining in memorizing verses I hope that you have had success with your first one. I chose Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in all situations, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God." Yay! I just wrote that from  memory! Okay, I totally checked it to make sure, but still, I wrote it! Please don't think I'm bragging. Anyone who has spent 5 minutes with me knows what a miraculous feat this is. Last night I reached across the table for a condiment and had to ask what I was reaching for. Seriously. I totally blog so that I will have any memory of my life whatsoever. I really need to take those vitamins that help with your memory. I just can't remember what they're called.....or to take them.....

So, anyway, tonight is the night I share my new verse. I actually shared it last night. It was one of those verses that just screamed, "YOU NEED TO LEARN ME, REMEMBER ME AND LIVE ME!!" Here it is:

"Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,"  (Galatians 6:4)

Let me tell you why this speaks to me right now. I'm a huge comparerer (that is so not a word, but do you know what I mean?) I constantly compare myself to other people. I'm not as pretty as this person or as crafty as that one and I'm not as good a Mom as this person and on and on and you get the picture.  Unfortunately, it doesn't stop at the superficial, but overlaps in my spiritual life. If only I was as disciplined as this person or as giving or whatever. I find myself longing for the gifts and talents others have.

This was an especially big deal for me in Mississippi. At our church there (which was my first experience as a preacher's wife) we had a church member who just happened to also be one of the former pastor's wives. In fact, they had served there for over 20 years. Mrs. Pugh was her name and I adored her. Pugh is pronounced "Pew" and isn't that the perfect preacher wife name? But gosh darnit, I could never be her. She is in her 80's now and probably still has more energy and motivation than me. As a young PW she raised 8 (yes, I said 8!) children and they all went in church. No nursery. And she planted beuatiful rose bushes in the yard of the pastorium. And she sings in the choir. And she was super involved in the community. I already had quite a complex because I don't sing or play the piano or have any of the other skills or talents preacher's wives are supposed to have. I  mean, I dance y'all. Not exactly Baptist preacher wife material. Mrs. Pugh was nothing but sweetness to me and such an encourager. I can't tell you how many Sundays she would wrap her understanding arms around me and tell me how she remembered the days of getting youngins ready for church while the hubby is already off at church. It was such a gift to have her there to share her wisdom and compassion. And yet, as always, I found myself constantly feeling "less than". The thing is, I have the ability to feel that way without anybody ever helping me. Isn't that special?

Finally, there was a day I was driving the county roads and whining to God about how I wasn't Mrs. Pugh and He interrupted me. He told me that if the church needed another Mrs. Pugh, He would have made me another Mrs. Pugh. It dawned on me that many of the skills and talents Mrs. Pugh has better served her generation, but there were gifts and talents He gave me that were better suited for my generation. It was that gentle reminder that, oh yeah, He is in control and knows what He's doing.

I don't know if any of you struggle with being a "comparerer", but I'm tired of it. I mean, literally tired. I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to be other people. I've recently realized how much time I've missed out on real growth in my personal strengths and gifts because I've been working so hard to have other people's.  Basically, God has had to have a heart to heart with me about the fact that any skills, talents, gifts, abilities, temperament, personality, whatever I have were given for HIS GLORY, not mine. That may mean that there are jobs He gives me that warrant no special attention or recognition while someone else may get that attention and recognition. It means that certain things God asks of me may be harder or easier than what He asks of someone else. It is not important that I keep a running tally of what so and so has done and what I'm doing or think I should be doing. It is important that every day I am seeking what God asks of ME and that I am being faithful and obedient to that call. I am eager to no longer live in the bondage of constantly comparing myself to others. Instead of  reaching, stretching, and jumping to keep up with what everybody else is doing, I just want to stand tall knowing I've stayed focused on what I've been asked to do. And to realize that nothing compares with His greatness!

So, what is your verse? You don't have to write a War and Peace epic like me to explain it, but please share!

3 comments:

Marcia said...

I totally read that very verse last night too!

I guess I could say I, too, am a "comparerer" in that I feel the need to have everyone's approval.
Great post!

Megan @ Faith Like Mustard said...

Oh, geeze...I'm definitely a comparerer. Thanks for stepping all over my toes! LOL! :)

Karen said...

I most definately am a comparer and I need to learn this verse too. I will put it on my list, but at the moment, I feel led to Ecclesiastes 5:1 "Guard your steps as you go to the house of God, and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil." - "Guard your steps" and "draw near to listen" really hit me and made me look at my attitude when I'm in church. Am I drawing near to listen, or to look for stuff to complain about? More often than not it's the latter, but with God's help I'm going to listen more and complain less! (and memorize...)