Stretching

I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight. Not sure why. We had a great day at dance camp. Dance skills were gained and teeth were lost. Seriously, the last hour of the day Barbie had to leave to go teach another class and the studio owner had to take her girls to the dentist. I was once again on my own. A couple of Moms showed up to watch, two of the girls lost teeth, and all of the 5 years olds decided they wanted to and started pulling on their teeth. Apparently no one prepared these girls that losing teeth involves blood and mass hysteria ensued. But...other than that, today was pretty calm. :)

Now as I lay on the couch I'm just feeling a little down. I don't know if that is even the word. I am probably just exhausted. But I've been thinking about just how much change I have experienced in the last year. The last two years. The last eleven or so years for that matter. I guess dancing again is bringing some of this up. Josh actually told me today that he thinks it is amazing I can still do some of the stuff I can. Amazing, y'all. I had to laugh when he said that because really, it is. The truth is that I never stopped being a dancer in my head, but my body.....well, let's say it is being reminded that my head didn't bring it along for the journey these last 11 or so years. I can't help but wonder how my body might look and what it really could be capable of if I had kept dancing. Josh reminded me of some of the things that interfered with my dancing career like struggling with depression, bearing and birthing 3 children and getting a college degree. Oh yeah. That's where those hips that keep taunting me in the mirrors came from. Babies and late night college Sonic runs.

The truth is, I just have all of a sudden felt very overwhelmed. It has just now occured to me to think, 'What in the world was I thinking?' Can I do this? Do I even want to do this? And the answer is yes. But it will take work. It will be a challenge. I can't hang out in my pj's watching TV and folding laundry. This is going to stretch me. There have been several major changes happen in our lives in the last year or so and this is just a tiny example of how change can bring growth, but it means stretching. Right now my leg muscles hurt so bad that I am terrified 1. That I won't be able to walk tomorrow and 2. Even if I can walk I will have to hobble into class and that would be embarrassing. It is tempting to want to call in and say, "I am broken. Gonna have to get somebody else." But, I've had enough dance experience to know that the only way this is going to get better is for me to keep stretching until my muscles are conditioned and ready for the work they have to do.

The same is true in every aspect of life. It is so tempting to want to settle into routines, to take the easy roads, and to stay comfortable. We never want to choose hurting. But the truth is that often those things which are the most painful,the most uncomfortable, the most outside of our comfort zone are the only things that truly grow us. We have to keep stretching.

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”