Eight is Great

Do you have any idea what tomorrow is? Well, it just so happens to be the 8th birthday of my firstborn, Sarah Beth. Did you hear that? EIGHT! As in, it was EIGHT years ago that I gave birth. EIGHT years ago that a waiting room full of friends and family piled into the hospital room to meet our bundle of joy. All 7 pounds and 1 oz. of her. I still remember looking at her and thinking, 'She looks like Mr. Bucky! (my father in law).' And she did. She was a Fidler baby. As people liked to repeatedly tell Josh, he couldn't deny her. Which was good, because you know we were totally going to have to go on Maury Povich otherwise. :) She was beautiful.

Even though she is my oldest and her newborn days happened the longest ago, I remember them the most. I think there are two reasons for that. First, everything with her was new and life changing. Like, learning that "running" to Wal-Mart meant packing a suitcase. That Mylicon drops are the greatest invention of all times. I still remember her first laugh. We still had our cocker spaniel, Abby, and she had jumped up in the bed with us (because in the days before children, I allowed our dog to do such a thing). I was sitting up feeding Sarah and Abby did that circle thing dogs do when they are trying to get comfortable. She just kept circling and circling and circling. Finally, in a great big dramatic fashion she plopped down. Sarah laughed out loud! It is one of my favorite moments in life. We had so many rough times with her and I've shared about her colic and my depression. But, there were so many sweet moments too. During those difficult days it was hard to see past all of the crying and screaming (on both our parts), but when I think back I can remember so many times that she was smiling and laughing. For some reason she LOVED the Toby Keith song "Who's Your Daddy?" and would laugh hysterically if I sang it to her. (Do you think that at the age of 7 months Sarah understood the irony of that song and the fact that she looked so much like her Daddy that my Dad called her Josh in a dress?)

Well, I said there were two reasons I remember. The second is the drama that Sarah brought with her. When I was working on my social work degree we discussed a theory that many psychologists have that babies are born a totally blank slate. They have no prewired personality or tendencies. WRONG! Even if I were not a believer in God and divine design, after raising Sarah Elizabeth Fidler, you could not convince me that babies are not born with their own personality if your life depended on it. You see, Josh and I are about the most laid back people you will ever meet. Seriously, I don't know how we eat or accomplish anything else. We are so like, "What do you wanna do?" "I don't care. Whatever you wanna do." "Wanna just sit here?"  "Okay."  Really, that is us. We were (are) both the type that you can look at us wrong and we will cry. Our greatest fear in life is upsetting people. So, we figured if you take one laid back, easygoing person and added another laid back, easygoing person you would get.....a little, laid back, easygoing baby. WRONG! Easygoing is not the word I would use for Sarah. She didn't do strollers. Or high chairs. Or car seats. Or cribs for that matter. Sarah first showed us her personality in the hospital. I was trying to nurse and she just wasn't having it. The lactation consultant told me that Sarah "just isn't a go getter". I can totally look back now and see that Sarah was just letting us know that she was not going to operate on other people's schedules or demands. She had her own way. :)

After 8 years of raising this little feisty, hard headed, super planning, busy bee little girl I have grown to love her more than I ever knew possible. I love her, obviously, because she is my daughter. But I also love her because she just fascinates me. The fact that I could give birth to someone who is so different from me just rocks my world. Tonight, as I frosted cupcakes to take for dance camp, she stood next to me and started counting. I had already told her I made 24. But she was double checking. She didn't know I had two pans in the oven and couldn't figure out how I had made 24. She wasn't going to bed until she had a final count. :) Bless her heart, I know my ditziness stresses her out to no end. I hope she sleeps well knowing I really did make 24 cupcakes. Sarah is a leader. While I have always been a follower, Sarah steps up and takes charge. I've seen her several times at camp this week shushing other girls and showing the little ones where they need to be. She has a nurturing, mothering instinct I hope to have someday before I'm 80. I call her the girl version of Macgyver. I have never known a child who could "repurpose" toys, bedding and all sorts of other things the way she does. One day in the car she pulled all of the ribbon off a headband and made a leash for her stuffed dog. I was torn between being furious that she ruined her new headband and feeling relieved that if she is ever held hostage she will probably be able to make an escape rope out of the duct tape covering her mouth or something like that.

When I look at Sarah, I just see God all over her. She asked Him into her heart two years ago and I have been in awe to watch the growth that has happened in her life. I know that the Bible tells us that all believers are given spiritual gifts, but I never thought about that with children until Sarah. Man, she has the gifts of compassion and mercy. When we lost Pop and Pappy, Sarah stayed right with Mammy and my Mom. She just sensed their pain and wanted to be with them. She will lead others to Jesus, I have no doubt about that. She is sweet and thoughtful and yet bold and fearless. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know where she came from! But I adore her and thank God for letting me be her Mama. She challenges me in ways I never anticipated. She keeps me praying a lot. :)  She makes me proud. I like her more and more every year. Eight is going to be great!