Just Another Manic Monday

I did something crazy today. I mean CA-RAZY! After much medical research (by which I mean excessive googling) I've determined that there is a strong possibility my hormonal issues are being greatly affected by my exorbitant intake of caffeine. So, you know where this is going, right? I decided to give it up. Today. Monday morning. The second week of dance camp. The day we would once again fit and dress 22 girls. The day they would all act like wild animals.

Let's discuss this day. First, I'm not a morning person. I'm sure we've covered this. Even Josh has been amazed at my early morning self this last week and a half. Still, I'm NOT a morning person. Second, I prefer to not talk to people before 10 am. Just a general rule I like to follow. That rule at my house? BROKEN. That rule at dance camp with 22 girls=SOOOO BROKEN! Well, today my boss lady asked if I wanted to trade and let her do the buns and I would help with the fittings. I agreed. Chaos is chaos. She told me that the lady from the dance store had fired her last week from helping with the tights. I soon met the same fate. She informed I did not know what I was doing and I was too slow. I informed her I was there to teach dance and not put on tights. I did y'all! I really said that! What can I say? Monday morning. 8:00 am. No caffeine. 22 girls. Grumpy dance store lady. Grumpy me. I did not even bother to mention that I have two daughters who I have been dressing in tights for 8 years now or that I was in fact, wearing some of my tights from MY SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL that do not have a run in them. Obviously I do know how to put on tights! (Yes, I am mentally sticking out my tongue and waving my fingers behind my ears. Because, I'm like 10.) Oh well.

Later she apologized to me and shared the reason she felt grumpy. It just happened to be one of my new students. She just happens to share my name. She just happens to be the whiniest, complainingest, most uncooperative little 5 year old known to mankind. Or at least to our dance studio. She's the one that got me in trouble with the tights. I wasn't moving fast enough because she kept saying, "You're poking me. That hurts. That doesn't feel right. You're hurting me." Mercy. I could tell it was going to be a long day.

I spent most of the day saying, "Emily. Emily. Get back in your place. Emily, get off of the mats. Emily, stand still. Emily, we don't do that." By 3:00 this afternoon I was physically picking her up and putting her where I wanted her to be when our studio owner walked by giving a parent a tour of the studio. I was so happy to demonstrate my best teaching skills..... Barbie suggested it would be great if I could diffuse some of my personality into my little namesake. I'm assuming she means the part of my personality that is so laid back that sometimes you wonder if I am, in fact, still awake. I assured her I have diffused my personality into as many children as I plan to. :)

By the time I got home I was feeling so sick I just laid on the couch and cried. My head hurt. My stomach hurt. I had two dances to choreograph and that sent me into a tailspin. Because I was sick and irrational. I am talking about 2 one minute dances for an end of the week showcase. A showcase where the girls I teach could stand on stage and pick their nose and the parents would take pictures and applaud like it was Broadway. I ate a piece of cake. It will make me sad when I stand in front of the mirrors tomorrow, but temporarily it made me feel better. Then, in desparation I begged Josh to get me a Diet Coke. Fully leaded. None of that decaf stuff.

It was miraculous. Three sips and I felt like a human being again. Earlier I hadn't been sure if my headache and nausea were from A. Lack of caffeine or B. Banging my head straight into the corner of a shelf while helping the girls change for our show last week (I'm talking, I was seeing stars and when I showed our tumbling teacher she said, "Right there where that dent is in your head?" Um, yes.) Or finally, C. The fact that I have been exposed to a stomach virus on an hourly basis everyday since last Monday. Eli had it. Several of the girls at camp had at. At church yesterday one of my VBS girls came up and greeted me with, "I'm gonna puke". Which is my favorite way to be greeted. How 'bout you? I tried to create a little space until she told me her heart hurt. I asked if she was sad about something. She answered by hugging me and saying, "I was missing you." *Melts heart*. I briefly forgot that sickness threatened our moment until 15 minutes later during welcome fellowship. It was just ending and Josh had just stepped up to preach. I looked over and ......yep. Puke. On the floor. In the middle of the aisle. I tell ya, if it ain't car alarms it's puke. Well, she had come with one of our members whose son was getting baptized and I didn't want her to miss that so I took little Miss sweet thing to one of the kid's rooms to lay down.  So, all of that to say, I didn't even have to google my symptoms today. My Diet Coke reassured me that I am not suffering from a concussion or a stomach virus. And all the church said, "AMEN!" And Emily said, "I will never go a day without caffeine again!"

Since at that point I was able to engage in conversation other than, "It hurts so bad, I feel like I'm gonna puke" Josh began telling me interesting things he had heard and read today. I feel so bad. There are times when I try to be educated and informed and prove myself an interesting conversation partner. Today, as he asked me if I had heard about something going on in Saudi Arabia I just looked at him like he had 5 heads. He laughed knowing what I was thinking. For any of you who may want to have a conversation with me about what I've "heard" let me warn you. This is what I've been hearing everyday:

"Where are my shoes?"
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"When can I take my tights off?"
"Can I get a drink  of water?"
"I'm hungry."
"I'm tired."
"Is it time to go home yet?"
"I don't know how to do that."

And just for fun, the things I've been saying,

"Where is your other shoe?"
"Off the mats, girls!"
"Point your toes!"
"We will take a break in 5 minutes."
"Spread out."
"Show me how you can wait quietly."

My favorite is not related to dance camp, but has been uttered too many times not to mention:

"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT???????"

It's gonna get better, y'all. After my Diet Coke kicked in I was able to choreograph those dances. In my rational, caffeinated state it was a lot easier to choreograph a dance for 4 and 5 year olds as opposed to the idea in my irrational, decaffeinated brain that I was like, going to be the guest choreographer on the next So You Think You Can Dance. I mean really, if I can get these girls to stand in a straight line I will feel like I've accomplished something great. If any of this post has made an ounce of sense, that will be a great accomplishment.

How about you? Was your Monday manic or magnificent? It is Monday, right?