There comes a time in every girl's life when she must make an important decision- cry hysterically and throw yourself in a heap of laundry OR- laugh. Well, I've done my share of cryin', fussin', whinin' and hollerin'. So.....I just have to laugh. Hysterically. In a delusional, slightly creepy, make my husband look at me like I've lost my mind kind of way. Of course, we all know I lost my mind a long time ago. What is lost now? My Christmas ornaments.
I just have to stop right here and tell you that any time I brag on my kids, I pay for it. Just a few weeks ago I was going on and on to Josh and my brother about how this was the first Christmas in 8 years that I've been able to put decorations in places where little hands can reach them. My baby is 3. She "knows better" now. Because she's 3. And being 3 is practically like being 20, right? I mean, grown. NOT! I haven't told y'all about our Christmas tree, but last year was our first year to have a real tree. I was really excited about it. I couldn't decide if I wanted another real one this year, but I finally decided I really did. So, we went up to the Pig and picked us out a tree. It was quite a magical moment. You know you live in Florida when the Christmas trees are surrounded by palm trees....
The next day Josh and Eli went out to have some guy time and me and the girls decorated the tree. Really, the girls did most of it themselves. I was so proud. I gave up a long time ago being obssessive about where the ornaments go. They got on the tree and that was all that mattered to me.
We did leave Eli's ornaments out for him to put up...
Well, the tree was up, it smelled great and it feels really cozy in the corner of our living room. Occassionally I would notice an ornament on the floor in the morning when I got up. I would chastise Kate and put it back up. Last night I got home, plopped on the couch, looked at the tree, watched TV, looked back at the tree......something just did not look right. I got up to do some laundry and the mystery was solved. My laundry basket was full of ornaments. I wasn't happy. It wasn't funny. It had been a long day and I was trying to be mad about something stupid. Do y'all do that? I went to the tree to angrily put the ornaments back on whilst sighing heavily and expressing my frustration.Josh sat in silence, scared for his life. I went to put the first ornament on and.....our tree is dead. I mean, DEAD. Brittle. Hard. Falling off. In that moment I felt like I should be very sad and upset. But, all I could do was laugh. I mean, seriously, I won't buy plants because I feel like it is premeditated homicide, but I will bring a tree into my house and expect it to live?
As pieces of the tree fell to the ground around me as I carefully placed the ornaments back, I had visions of Clark Griswold hanging lingerie on what was left of his charred Christmas tree. Of the crazy look in his eyes. Of the family watching on as he attempted to keep his holiday spirit despite a night that got continually worse. And the realization that I relate more to Clark Griswold than Martha Stewart humbles me once again. I've decided to embrace it. Perhaps I will star in a "how-to" holiday special that features shopping for your Christmas tree at the Pig, dumping store bought cookies on Christmas platters in the car on the way to parties, and how to redecorate your dead tree on a daily basis. If you really become a pro like myself, you can teach your 3 year old to cover her tracks. And your tree will look like this....
Please take note of the orange extension cord and the pine needles on the floor. Yes, we have an orange extension cord across the front of our tree. Josh told me it was just to try the lights out and that he would get another cord. That was 2 weeks ago......
I guess the important thing is that when I put the topper on Kate said, "I love it!" Of course, this is the same child who thinks black dress shoes go wtih everything and that you put mustard and peanut butter on a sandwich together. Oh well.
In happier domestic news, Eli and I built a gingerbread house today! I learned the best secret. You use a milk carton to put the crackers around! For those of you who have known that since kindergarten, please don't spoil my moment. Please just be in awe that I participated in something that involves food and crafting and it worked!
We did that, y'all! His teacher didn't even have to help once! After seeing this picture I've decided that I have a long lost twin......
What do you think? We totally have the same eyes. Okay, all togeher now...."Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree....."
4 comments:
I love this!! I put up my first real tree this year and it is a MIRACLE that it is still in my living room and not by the side of the road. Ben decorated our old artificial one in the dining room. I wasn't necessarily pleased with his work but since we had just barely decided to stay married after finishing the real one, I just let it go:)
I think ours may be dead now too so I just don't go near it:) Loved this post!! And the gingerbread house - just call me seriously impressed. Jack and I tried one last year with the house already put together and it was a nightmare so yeah, impressed is the word!
Okay - I know there is a huge nostalgia thing about real trees but I can't stand them - beacuse they die. And you have to water them. And they still die. And the needles hurt. And you will be stepping on needles in July. So, we obviously don't have a real tree...however, the day I was putting up our Charlie Brownesque artificial tree, I realized it was broken - beyond repair broken. No duct tape could fix it this year (yes, we did that the past 3 or 4 years) so, there I sit surrounded by lights and Christmas ornaments and no tree scared to death that we would have to get a real tree and I would be covered in sap and needle scratches till New Years. However, we found a very nice pre-lighted tree and can I just say that was the greatest idea since sliced bread. Love it!!
On another note - I LOVE the gingerbread house. I've always wanted to make one, but never have - I've always been too intimidated - or lazy - can't figure out which. Anyway, I will have to come visit next year and yall can show me how it's done. :) Merry Christmas!!
Oh Emily I am with Karen, that is the reason I do not like real Christmas trees cause they die. I can remember as a kid my mom wanted one and who would get stuck cleaning it...yep me =) So maybe there is some kind of repressed memory there. =)
Don't kids give you the best Christmas stories though, well I hope you all have a great Christmas. I am thinking and praying for you!
You just learned the milk carton trick? I've known that since before I was born. I'm kidding. I too learned this trick when Mitchell was in 2nd grade. I thought it was brilliant because I had cussed one too many times trying to piece together grahm cracker sides with icing prior to that. And I love the orange heavy duty drop cord screaming Home Depot. Ha!I love it when our men get involved in Christmas decorating because it's so helpful but it also definately leaves their touch on things! Have a great Christmas, my friend. I have been thinking about you a lot this season. Praying for you and your Mom and sister this coming week.
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