I Remember

As we mark the one year anniversary of my Dad's funeral I thought I would share the message that Josh gave. I learned from that experience that the word "surreal" is defined as: a moment when your body makes an appearance but you are unable to locate your heart or mind. I remember certain things from that time very well. I remember waiting in the car while Josh checked us into the hotel and my Uncle Jamie walked up and told me I looked like a movie star sitting there with my sunglasses on. I remember that because it is something my Dad would have said. I remember standing at the visitation as countless numbers of people came by to talk to us. I remember that after everybody left we sat in the first few pews with some of our family and tried to figure out who Uncle Fred was. We had gotten some flowers from "Uncle Fred and the girls" and nobody had a clue who Uncle Fred was. I remember the day of the funeral taking Sarah up to look at the casket. I remember putting pictures of the kids and some drawings they had made in a "lockbox" in the casket. I remember when the slideshow started playing and the tears that came as I watched pictures of much happier times in our life. I remember when they played Willie Nelson's version of  "Amazing Grace" and the good Baptist preacher's wife in me thought, "What will people think about this?" as the guitar solo kicked in. Before I had too much time to worry I could almost feel my Daddy as if he was right there kick back with his ankle over his knee, wrap his arm around me and whisper, "Isn't that cool?"  It was. It was very cool and exactly what my Dad would have wanted. I remember a man whose cell phone kept ringing until finally my cousin, Drew, dragged the man outside and let him have it. Later it became the joke that he must have been Uncle Fred. :)  I remember driving to the cemetary in the rain and cold. It was so cold and downcast and drizzling rain. It was as if the weather shared my mood.

It's amazing how you can remember so many specific details and yet not really remember something. Those days were blurs, and yet these things are as fresh on my mind as if they happened yesterday. It's taken me a full year to write about the funeral, but I think that is okay. I know this is for me more than anyone else who might come across it. I just wanted to share the wonderful words Josh shared about my Daddy. I don't think either of us realized how difficult that day would be. He says he's never been so nervous in his life. I didn't realize how much I had depended on his strength until he wasn't right there next to me. But what an honor that my husband performed my Daddy's funeral. He wouldn't have had it any other way. And I was glad that I got to have my input into what was said. :)  Sometimes there are perks to being the preacher's wife....


The Legacy of a Loving Father

(Commentary for Roger Strickland)


We gather this morning to honor the life and memory of Mr. Roger Strickland, or “Pappy” as his grandchildren know him. We come this morning not to merely mourn our loss, but to celebrate the life and the legacy that he left.

Any time I stand in this place, in a pulpit on such an occasion, I am reminded that my presence is a mere formality. A preacher at a funeral is simply a matter of tradition and ritual. I say that because the funeral message has already been preached. Our values, what we believe, is declared more definitively in the way we live than it could ever been stated in an address.

Mr. Roger declared his message loud and clear. His life has spoken to what he believed. His message and his legacy have been shared openly for more than fifty-five years.

Billy Sunday once said, “Live in such a way that when you die you leave more than an obituary in the paper and an epitaph on a tombstone.” Your presence this morning is a testimony to the fact that his life has done just that.

As I began to think about Mr. Roger and the things I learned from him, I cannot help but recall the first time that we ever met. My junior year of high school, Emily asked me to escort her to Azalea Trail. (If you don’t know what that is, it is a scholarship contest where girls dress up in old antebellum dresses and stand in front of houses that no one can afford and wave to people driving by.)

That particular morning I arrived a little early to pick Emily up. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by a seven foot tall, three hundred pound monstrosity of a man in the doorway. (Maybe he wasn’t that big, but it sure seemed like it) And wouldn’t you know it, Emily wasn’t ready. So I had the privilege of sitting with this giant of a father that I have never met before in a dark empty room for a half-hour.

As a scared sixteen year old, I nervously showed him the bouquets of flowers I had purchased- one for his daughter and one for his wife.

You can only imagine my fear when he questioned, “That one is for Mrs. Libby?” As I prepared to be pulverized, he told me to hold on, and while I counted the remaining seconds I had to live, he went to get a vase and some water. He simply wanted them to be displayed when she got home.

I discovered in that moment that this man needed such a big body to hold the heart that was inside.

I learned a few things about this man over the course of the past twelve years. And as I’ve thought over them, this loving father gave some wonderful parallels to our Heavenly Father.

When I think back on the stature of this man, I think about…



Arms Large Enough to Keep His Family Safe



It is hard not to notice how big of a man Mr. Roger was. As my wife put it, he was “Daddy-sized.”

He was the dad with hands big enough to scoop up a child with ease and shoulders broad and high enough for them to see over the crowd.

He was the dad that later struck fear into the hearts of his daughters’ boyfriends. And he was a dad that watched carefully over his family and was always concerned with their safety- even after his two daughters were married and his son grown.

He wasn’t simply big, but he was also a man’s man. He loved football and baseball. He talked guns and fishing. He was a provider and a protector.

I truly believe that his greatest concern in life was not social stature or personal acclaim. It was not a concern with an illustrious career or a prominent position. Rather, he simply wanted to take care of his family. He wanted his wife and kids to feel safe and secure.

While heartache and difficulty are certainties in life, he wanted to shield them and protect them in those times.

While Mr. Roger was big enough to keep his family safe, we must be reminded in these times that our Heavenly Father is big enough to keep us safe and secure.

To Mrs. Libby, the kids, his family, while Mr. Roger’s arms will no longer provide us protection, we can take hope in the fact our Father’s arms are big enough to carry us in this time.

Psalm 46:1-3 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”

I know that in this time of loss, it may seem that the world is caving in around you. It may seem like things are falling apart and nothing is right. In fact, life may seem like uncontrollable chaos. Yet, we have a God with arms big enough to shield and protect us in this time.

He is our refuge and our help in this time of trouble.

We find arms big large enough to keep a family safe. Then we find…



A Voice of Encouragement, Truth (and Humor)



Pappy was known for his speeches- both for their simplicity and their depth.

He offered Emily the deep speech- “If you have sex, you have babies.” To Jenny, after countless people tried to predict the sex of her baby, he simply responds, “Well, Jenny, it’s either a boy or it’s a girl” as if he had just reduced the options and solved the dilemma.

He had countless inside jokes with his family- things that he would work into a conversation without anyone expecting it. Some of his favorite words and topics included answering all questions with the suggestion, “put it in a lock-box” or we need some “strategery.” (Both of these came from an SNL skit in 2000)

To say that Mr. Roger was hilarious is an understatement. In fact, there were times that when we would laugh until it hurt. While he could be extremely funny, he was still an encourager for his kids.

He wanted his family to know that he desired great things for them, and he encouraged them to chase their dreams. He wanted them to succeed.

I remember when Philip was twelve. He was playing baseball for a team in Parker, Florida. One evening, Philip was tapped to pitch unexpectedly. We intended to go to the game, but apparently we could not wait as the phone starting ringing off the hook because Mr. Roger wanted EVERYONE to be present to see Philip pitch.

I remember for days afterward how he talked about how well his son had done that evening. He was a man of encouragement.

Mr. Roger’s words of affirmation and encouragement all mirror the voice of God.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 says, “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”

Paul was concluding his letter with a word of encouragement and affirmation. He was reminding the people of Thessalonica that their God gives eternal encouragement and hope.

God continues to be a God of affirmation and encouragement. He continues to desire the best for us.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Our Heavenly Father’s desire for us is much like Mr. Roger’s desire for his children. Our God longs to see us succeed. He wants to see us prosper. His desire is for our good.

I know that life is difficult at this moment. I understand that death is something that causes us to question God’s motives and plan. It is something that often makes us wonder about the extent of God’s goodness.

However, let me encourage and reassure you this morning. While we are going through a time of grief, God desires to give us encouragement. He longs to see us succeed. Our Heavenly Father is much like Mr. Roger was as an earthly father.

He has arms large enough to protect His children. He speaks with a voice of encouragement, truth and hope. And lastly we find…



A Heart Big Enough to Love Greatly



Mr. Roger had a large stature and an even larger heart. He had a heart big enough to love greatly.

I know that he loved his wife. He and Mrs. Libby have celebrated more that thirty years of marriage together. In a day and time where marriage is more likely to fail than succeed, their love has stood the test of time.

In addition to loving his wife, it is abundantly clear how he loved his children. You could rarely speak to Mr. Roger and not hear something about Philip, Jenny, or Emily.

His attendance at ballet recitals, his coaching basketball, his endless hours of playing chauffer to a van full of girls speak to a love for his kids.

Even in recent weeks, he would post on his Facebook page when he got to speak to one of his kids on the phone.

Pappy loved his kids immensely. And he loved his grandchildren as well. It seems when he wasn’t talking about his kids, he was talking about his grandkids. He was talking about Luke, Eli, Sarah Beth, or Kate.

He loved them all deeply.

Also, he was a man of compassion. He could not stand to see someone suffer. He hated seeing people in pain. I’m still convinced that he would have freely offered the shirt off his back if he knew someone was hurting and in need.

In our first year of marriage, Emily and I were like most newlywed couples. We were not completely broke, but we were far from wealthy!

Just to make things easier, and to let us know that he loved us we would occasionally open the mailbox to find a letter marked, “Hamburger money.”

It would typically have ten or twenty dollars in it with the instructions “Go and get a hamburger- Love, Dad.”

Mr. Roger was a man that loved his family dearly. In fact, I am certain that my attempts at communicating his love are falling horribly short.

Yet, he is again a fitting picture and example of the love of our Heavenly Father. While Mr. Roger was exceedingly compassionate with his kids, we find in Scripture that God is compassionate with us as well.

Psalm 103:13 says, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”

In this time of grief, please do not think that God is silent or unconcerned. Rather, He hurts with us much like Mr. Roger hurt when his family was suffering. He gives mercy to those that are hurting that call on Him.

He is a compassionate and loving God. We are reminded again of his love in 1 John 3:1a.

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”

As loving and good of a man as Mr. Roger was- we are assured in God’s Word that we serve a God that loves us even more deeply. He loves us so deeply that he freely lavishes his love on you and me.

To the friends and family present today, I am not going to pretend that there is not a hole in your lives at this moment. Mr. Roger was a great man that I loved deeply. He was a man that earned my respect. He was a man that leaves a big void to fill.

Yet, in spite of this void, I can promise you that we have a God big enough and good enough to fill those missing areas. Where Mr. Roger’s strong arms may not be felt, God’s are continuing surrounding His children. Where Mr. Roger’s voice of encouragement may not be heard audibly, we have a God that seeks the best for us. While Mr. Roger loved you each deeply,you have a God that loves you more intimately that even Pappy could.


Let me offer you this encouragement today. When you begin to feel that void, when you notice what is missing, call on Jesus. He can fill the shoes that are left empty.