Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's All Over But The Cryin'

*WARNING: If you are a boy you probably don't want to read this. In fact, nobody will probably want to read this, but it's my blog and it's Saturday night and I am assuming everyone else has a life and probably won't read this anyway. So there. Consider yourself warned.

There comes a time in every girl's life when it is necessary to face yourself in the rear view mirror at Sonic and say "Girl, get a grip!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Today was such a day for me. Now, I have shared countless chaotic days from my life that would probably leave many in tears or hysterics. And yet, I have been able to face those days with strength and even laugh about them. But something happens every month and I am overtaken by a monster that sends my body and brain through a tailspin of emotions so fierce that I have yet to find the appropriate cover to take. Josh has adopted the "duck and cover" method. He is extra sweet, brings me peanut M&M's as his special offering and allows me to sleep as much as our schedules will allow as this is the safest, calmest route for everyone in our home. I, however, am stuck with myself.

If you are a boy and have no idea what I am talking about, remember I warned you. If you are a girl and have no idea what I am talking about consider yourself blessed among women. You see, what I am talking about here is hormones. Probably not the most appropriate topic for the preacher's wife's blog, but here I am discussing it anyway. You see, I always heard people talk about how the hormones make you crazy when you are a teenager but I really never experienced that. I was pretty balanced. I even had good skin. Get ready for this-I was even voted SWEETEST one year in high school!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that? Now, that I am almost 30 my skin is breaking out and I am pretty sure Josh would like to nominate me for "MOST LIKELY TO BITE YOUR HEAD OFF". I have full on sweets cravings that make my pregnancy cravings seem like nothing. What is going on y'all??

I actually had a conversation with my parents about my irritability. I just had to check with them. I didn't remember being so irritable when I was younger. They agreed I was not an irritable person. My dad also reminded me that I liked to be alone a lot and do my own thing. So, pretty much we established that I'm only grumpy when I have to be around other people and can't get my own way. :)

I was talking with a friend who shared that every other month is different because your ovaries alternate. I had never thought about that. So, I got out my calendar and sure enough I realized that every other month is worse for me. Like this past week my whole body hurt so bad that I had to call Josh to come home so I could take medicine that would just knock me out. Is that normal? Probably not. Once the pain fades I then turn into Cruella Deville and decide that everything in life is horrible. No joke. One day I am totally happy and content with life and then the monster comes and I am convinced I am miserable with everything in my life.

Like I said, today was the day. The day I knew it had gotten way out of hand. I went by Sonic for my Diet Cherry Coke and do you know what the guy said? "I'm sorry, we're out of Diet Coke." Now, normal, non-possessed Emily would have immediately said "I will have a Diet Dr. Pepper then please." But not crazy, hormonal Emily. I wiped away a tear, y'all. For real. And that was my moment. The moment I knew that it is really time to get a grip. Or some chocolate....

Lessons learned today folks:

*The preacher's wife gets PMS too.
* Pray extra for the preacher.
* You might want to mark off the 19th of all the odd months in your calendars as days to avoid me like the plague.
* Peanut M&M's and TylenolPM make all things better.
* I'm a lot more spiritual when I don't have to be around people. :)
* This too shall pass!
*DON'T EVER BE OUT OF DIET COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


III said...

I think about this: who really loves you. The people who really love you aren't the ones who you wow with your wit, or your charm, or your good looks. The ones who really love you are the ones who know the most about you, and even know you at your worst... and they still love you.

Kinda like your peanut M&M delivery man. Good for Josh.

Melody said...

You are hilarious! This is why I'm reading your blog...I need to laugh and usually it's not so hard for me to laugh but lately I've been so stressed that I've not laughed as much. So this was good for my soul today....even though I'm sort of laughing at your hormonal expense...sorry. I'm praying for your hubs! Ha!

Karen said...

I'm reminded of a song lyric - "sometimes it's hard to be a woman..." and I feel your pain. :/

Lori said...

Well, my husband can attest to the fact that I AM an irritable person (and I think my parents would agree that it didn't just start) so you can imagine the fun I am every other month!!

Thank God for loving and patient husbands!! :)

Rachael. said...

Girl i hear ya! My PMS has not set in until after children and man you better just stay away or take a few deep breathes about asking me a question.

And God forbid my coffee creamer be gone or the Sweet tea well be dried up!