Just a few months ago I had the opportunity to teach Vacation Bible School. For those of you who are unfamiliar with VBS it is a summer week packed with food, crafts, music and Bible study for the kids. It is designed for the kids, but I have to tell you, God had a message for me in it this past year.
I was the Bible study teacher and this summer's VBS focused on Jesus' disciple Peter and taught the kids about Jesus through the experiences of Peter. We talked about the day Jesus asked Peter to become His follower. We stepped into the water with Peter when he decided he could walk on water too. We followed him through the trial and crucifixion of Jesus, and yes, we even suffered through the moment that Peter denied his LORD.
I've always loved Peter. Josh and I did a study with the youth in Panama City called "Twelve Ordinary Men" by John McArthur that takes a look at the disciples. We just completed the same study with our discipleship training classes here and I enjoyed it all over again. I guess because I love studying personalities and that study really makes the disciples come to life. It brings out their personalities and the way God used their strengths and also had to refine their weaknesses. I think I liked Peter so much because despite a penchant for his mouth getting him into trouble, he was full of passion. It got him in trouble often, but the thing about Peter was that if he was going to do something he was going to do it all the way. I'm all about that. I can relate. I'm the same way. Some times it is bad because the whole "all or nothing" attitude can very often just become "nothing." Nevertheless, I admire the willing spirit that Peter had.
The event in Peter's life that got my attention in my VBS class full of kindergarten through 3rd graders was the day that Peter denied Jesus. I had heard that story a million times, but for some reason it hit me this summer. We often see the disciples as just that, just students or followers of Jesus. I guess studying Peter over the last couple of years revealed to me that he was so much more than that. He was Jesus' friend. The kind of friend who was so very close that he gave up his profession and life as he knew it to follow that friend. (Mark 1:17) The kind of friends who spent countless hours sharing, discussing and experiencing life together. The kind of friend who trusted Jesus to care about his family. (Mark 1:29-31) Jesus had been the kind of friend someone like Peter needed who could speak the truth in love, even when it hurt a little bit. (Mark 14:37) He had been the kind of friend who would make Peter feel so protective that he would cut off a man's ear if it meant protecting Jesus. (Mark 14:47) He was a friend Peter trusted so completely that he got out of a boat and stepped on water. (Matthew 14:29) Jesus wasn't your run of the mill golden statue that many of that time worshipped. He was not some far off mythical creature. Jesus was real and He had been Peter's friend and mentor.
I believe that the impact of what happened the day Peter denied Jesus is not felt unless we understand the relationship they shared. We may sit in church and yawn and nod our heads when the preacher preaches, but I'm tellin' ya, this story has hit me with such force. Just a few days ago I experienced a day that really had me down. I finally lost it and said out loud "I am disappointed in God." It hurts my heart to type those words right now. I don't really want to go into details about that, but I share it to share the moment that I had after that.
In the book of Mark the heading of this passage says Peter Denies Jesus, and Weeps. It breaks my heart to type those words too. Because I know he did. Even though he did it three times I know it ripped at his heart each time that his human self was so weak. That his desire for self-preservation took over in the heat of that moment. And even worse, he remembered Jesus' words "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times." Mark 14:72
The part of this story that really got to me was that very shortly after those denials, Jesus died. I don't know about you, but one of my greatest fears is losing someone I love and having said or done something to hurt them without having the chance to make it right. Can you imagine the gut-wrenching heartache Peter must have felt that day? He didn't just lose his LORD, his teacher, and one of his closest friends. He lost Him and never had the chance to tell Him "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
Well, before we all go through a box of tissue, here is the good part. With Jesus, there is always Good News. Are you wondering how God dealt with me when I told Him I felt disappointed? No, lightning didn't strike me. Instead I felt as though He said to me, "I've been waiting for you to tell me that." As in, He already knew that was how I felt just as He knew that Peter would deny Him three times. He was waiting for me to know that was what I was dealing with and be honest about it. I had the chance to ask for it to be made right.
Thankfully, Peter had that chance too. We are told that Jesus appeared to the disciples after his ressurrection. That was the time when poor doubting Thomas missed out and said he wouldn't believe it until he saw it. So, Jesus came again and showed Thomas the scars in His hands. But, the third time, it was Peter's time. The disciples had decided to deal with their emotions like most men and they went fishing. :) It was while they were on this boat not catching a stinkin' thing that Jesus appeared and told them to cast the net on the right side of the boat. They caught a ton of fish, but that was not the important part to Peter. As soon as Peter realized it was Jesus on the shore John 21:7 says "he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea." As Eli would say, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about!" Crazy, impulsive all or nothing Peter couldn't wait to get the boat back to shore. He just jumped out of the boat and swam! And do you know what Jesus did? Do you think He smacked Peter upside the head and said "Why did you deny me?" Do you think He ignored him as it is so easy to do to those we feel betrayed by? Nah. He made him breakfast. "Jesus said to them, 'Come and eat breakfast.' " (John 21:12)
To know that kind of love, that kind of forgiveness, and that kind of restoration. Only in Jesus.
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