Blog, Blog, Blog

Tonight, I celebrate a milestone of sorts. No, it's not one of my children's birthdays, my anniversary, or even a celebration that Kate has been going pee pee in the potty (kind of) for the last few days. Although believe me, you KNOW we will be celebrating the official completion of the potty training!! No, tonight is a different kind of milestone. I am celebrating the fact that when I publish this post it will tell me that I have written 300 posts. 300, y'all. 300 times I have shared some kind of story, some grasp at spiritual understanding, some pest control wisdom, and y'all have read it. Blows my mind. Are we all bored or what?!?!?!? :)

I'm not sure why this number gets me. I just happened to notice a few posts back that it was getting close and couldn't help but think, 'What in the world have I been talking about? What in blue blazes have I had to say that could total 300 blogs? And why on earth has anybody wanted to read it?' I don't know. It's a mystery to me, but I sure have had a lot of fun. I've always loved writing, but there was a time when my life was consumed with so many other things. At the point that I started this blog I was a young Mom finishing up my last semester of college and raising two babies under the age of 2. Y'all just think I'm looney now! Josh had just answered the call to preach and our life was in total upheaval as we were starting out on a journey of faith that left us dangling somewhere between stress and complete and total amazement at the ways God provided for us and directed us. Here's a peek at what we were looking like in those days....

                                                                 Summer 2006

My babies back in those days....when they really were babies.

These were the times when he was Baby Eli

I have no idea why I started blogging. I had gotten on MySpace because my sister, who was living in Alaska at the time, was on there and it was a great way to keep up. Pretty soon I was sucked into the world of social networking and one day I just decided to write about how I was feeling. Josh had informed me after a trip to visit some friends and family in Mississippi that he felt like God wanted us to move there. That was not the plan Josh and I had been working towards and believe me when I tell you, God didn't allow us to do much planning at all! He pretty much took over and wrote that story out for us. It's too long to share here now, but for whatever reason, I started sharing with family on MySpace and others started reading.

I have to stop here and let you know that this was almost 2 years after God healed my depression. For me to be experiencing feelings, let alone writing them for other people to read, was a huge thing for me. I had isolated myself so much in the years after I got married and started having babies. I wonder now how different things might have been if I had the benefit of sharing my mothering woes and tribulations with groups like I see now online when I experienced motherhood at such a young age. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that blogging became my therapy. I got stuff off of my chest. I reconnected with people. I started to learn things about myself I never knew. I started to remember that I was still a person and not just Josh's wife or Sarah and Eli's Mom. I remembered that I LOVED to write and the fact that I could get immediate feedback was just an added bonus.

After we moved our internet connection was terrible and I went from being a Mom in school to a Mom working full-time. My blogging was pretty infrequent. Three months after we moved to Ms. Josh was called to a church and I added "preacher's wife" to the list of my titles.

Josh's Ordination Service Jan. 2007

Isn't that the most terrible picture of me? It's okay, you won't hurt my feelings, I know it is. We spent the weeks leading up to this service repainting all 9 rooms in the parsonage and by this point I was WORED OUT! Well, just a week after we got home I learned some interesting news that made me feel a little better about the size of my stomach in this pic. I was pregnant!!!!!!  August of that year Katelyn Ann Fidler made her appearance and Sarah started kindergarten. We also lost our sweet cocker spaniel, Abby. Have I ever told y'all she died the day I had Kate? My parents found her that night when they took the kids home. So sad. I don't think I ever blogged about the fact that I had a day when we were getting ready to leave Ms. that I spent the whole day crying about the fact that Abby is buried there and we were leaving her behind. Okay, so let's face it, I had a lot of other emotional stuff going on at that time, but that just seemed to hit me that day.

Okay, enough with sad stuff. If you've read any of these 300 posts, you know I have had my share of sadness over these last few years. But that has been another great thing about blogging. You've been there for me. Whoever you are. I have recieved so much love and support through this blog. From people I've known since elementary school, but no longer live nearby, to complete strangers who have become my friends through this crazy world of blogging. Isn't that the coolest thing? People who you may never find yourself associating with "in real life" become soul friends. You don't know a thing about where they live, what car they drive or what social circles they run with. You just find a common bond and a relationship grows where you didn't expect one. Love that!

Oddly enough, my most commented on blogs are the ones about stuff like mice, hormones and lingerie. Seriously, I have some family members who keep telling me I need to write a book and I always find myself pondering what I would write a book about. Let's face it, I'm pretty random. Maybe I need to embrace fiction and write a story about a hormonal mouse that wears lingerie. What do you think?

All of this is to say that I love y'all! I can't tell you how many times I have considered giving up this blog. A comment hurts my feelings, I go through times that are just too tough to blog about, or to be honest a lot of times it hits me that I have really put ALL of this out there for whoever comes along and googles something like "hormonal mice wearing lingerie".  But I just can't do it. This blog has become as much a part of my identity as being a wife and Mom. I look forward to hearing from y'all. I love knowing that there are other people who, God bless 'em, can totally relate to what I'm going through. I love that for a few minutes at night after my kids go to bed, I can tell my story and pretend that there are people who care what I have to say. I love that my crazy, racing brain has an outlet to document these memories, however mundane or exciting and especially my thoughts that are ever changing. I love that for a brief time, people get to see me as just Emily, not the Mom, the Preacher's Wife, or the crazy lady with all of the puppies. :)

Don't get me wrong, it has its downfalls. My poor husband didn't sign up to be the subject of probably 245 blogs, but he is. He is the one who suffers when he goes to tell a funny story about our kids and somebody says, "Oh yeah, I read that on the blog." Poor Josh. My kids have no idea that I've told countless stories about them or posted pictures of them riding swiffer mops. One day, I'm gonna have some 'splainin' to do. I try to be very sensitive to the people and situations in my  life. If y'all had any clue the things I DON'T blog about, it would rock your world. So is the life of the preacher's wife and a social worker. Confidentiality just totally ruins my storytelling. :) The ones who really suffer are my sister and my best friend, Karen. They are the ones I tell, "This isn't going on the blog, but.....". Bless their hearts. Y'all say a prayer for them, k?

All in all, the fact that I just wrote a blog about blogging probably tells you I'm a little obsessed and a lot dorky. Yes, I do know I need a life. Man, just think of all the things I could blog about if I really had a life!!!!!!

Thanks for reading y'all!