If Josh had not turned in his resignation Sunday morning, he may have been asked to leave after the story I shared in Sunday School. Somehow I ended up discussing mice, alcohol and lingerie in a 15 minute time span during Sunday School. Josh will tell you, he can't take me anywhere...
Let me explain. It started when my teacher began trying to disuade one of our church members from pursuing a job in Australia. She's been doing her best to keep him here and she decided she should tell him that Australia has the most poisonous snakes anywhere. That led to a conversation about things we don't "do". Like, we don't "do" snakes, spiders, stuff like that. That's when my teacher announced that she doesn't "do" mice. Well, you know my mice stories are just like God's mercy, new and fresh every morning. Yes, I even had a new one since the last time I blogged.
I began to tell them about Saturday morning. I was so excited to have the whole day to spend with Karen for her birthday. I woke up early. Well, I opened my eyes. I don't really wake up well. It's a long, painful, uncoordinated process. I try to stay in bed as long as possible until I think my legs will be able to walk me out of bed and not into a wall. Anyway, I was laying on my side kind of awake, and I just happened to see a mouse slide from one of my drawers into another. Y'all they are so creepy. Their bodies are like those slinky dogs that just stretch out for miles. *Shudder*. I know that I was half asleep because I did not scream. FIRST. TIME. EVER. My first thought was that I needed to grab the drawer, run to the yard and dump it out. Then, I realized the dern thing had gone into my LINGERIE drawer. For the love of Pete. I had to share with my Sunday School class how close I had come to being in the yard in my pj's hurling my lingerie for all of Montrose to see. Could you imagine? I would have been the talk of the town for days. Really, these things are getting a little too personal, don't you think?
Well, everyone laughed about that and we moved on with the lesson. Then, we started talking about changing our thinking and how that changes our behavior. Baptist cannot talk about things like this without talking about drinking. It is just how we are. :) I shared that my decision not to drink was as much personal as it is spiritual. I have a very addictive personality. Y'all have heard me talk about my Diet Cokes, right? I have never had a sip of alcohol, but I don't doubt for a second that if I were to drink you would soon find me sipping a beer with my fiber bar for breakfast. It's just the way I'm programmed and I've had to learn that. I shared with my class that if I drank they would probably find me dancing in the street or something and they cracked up saying, "Did you see the preacher's wife dumping her lingerie in the yard? She's been drinking again!!"
So, thankfully I have a Sunday School teacher and classmates with a sense of humor. I will try this week to be fully dressed and keep my unmentionables in the bedroom where they belong. I will stick to my Diet Cokes and keep my dancing in the kitchen. :) It's the least I could do, right?