Monday, January 18, 2010

Plumbing, Puking, Parasites and Push-Ups

Y'all, if I had a shred of hope left in my weary bones for a glamorous life it has been officially shredded from my being. Like old paperwork shredding through the paper shredder. Like a block of cheese being shredded over a salad. Like leather shoes in the mouth of a puppy. You get the picture? Do I seem preoccupied with shredding? Well, I don't want to talk about it...yet.

I use to give grand speeches about grieving and how important it is to not just make yourself busy. You need to think. You need to process. You need to deal. Then...I lost my Dad. And my theories on grieving became a lot like the theories I had about raising children BEFORE I had children. What I'm saying is-things change. I still think it is important to think and process and deal. But sometimes, you just need other things to occupy your mind. Do you know what I mean? I figure God must agree with this because this long weekend assured I had plenty on my mind. I told y'all about my little "shredding" experience Friday night. Saturday we awoke to realize that our plumbing was having issues. What kind of issues you ask? Oh, it was just backing up into our bathtubs!!!!!!! N.A.S.T.Y Well, Josh and one of our church members stood in the rain trying to work on it and just couldn't get it fixed completely. They did a temporary fix to get us through until Monday when the plumber could come. Y'all will think I'm crazy, but plumbing issues make me feel close to my Dad. Bless his heart, he had a fit with plumbing issues and I knew I could've called him and he would have sympathized greatly with me and we could've share war stories. For the record, this little issue was caused by a 2 year old and some paper towels. I'm relieved. The possibilities were endless for what they might find....

Sunday night after we got the kids to bed Josh and I embarked on "The Shred". He had attempted it with me Sat. night and that was most pitiful showing of fitness (or lack thereof) you have ever seen. At one point I was laughing at us so hard I couldn't stand up much less lift my weights. I seriously should have someone videotape us. We could either win a million dollars on America's Funniest Videos or do a public service announcement on why exercise is so important. SO YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE US!!!! I would really consider the whole videotaping thing but I'm afraid my camera might get broken when the person doing the videotaping fell to the ground laughing! I think if this whole ministry thing doesn't work out Josh and I might have a shot at a comedy routine.

Last night was slightly better. I learned something I never knew about myself. I am a high fiver. I felt the need to high five Josh after every circuit. I'm not sure where that came from. I think it was my way of saying "I'm thankful we are both still able to lift our hands to high five." Josh even made us a playlist so we wouldn't have to listen to Jillian. Is that mean? I mean, it's really nothing against her, but we needed some get up and go music. Know what I mean? Well, it got to the place for Smash Mouth's "All Star" and it turns out to be this. I don't know if it was fatigue or what, but it just cracked me up! Instead of our get up and go song it was some guy spelling out the song and at one point spelling "S-n-u-g-g-l-e-s". I have no idea what that has to do with that song but I know by that point in the shred I was wanting to just lay on the couch and snuggle!! Our playlist really payed off when "Eye of the Tiger" came on right during the punching section. I felt like a rock star!

Eli woke up this morning puking (and adding to the glamor of my life). He was so pitiful. He just laid on the couch all day. He finally climbed in the recliner to sit with me and I asked him if he wanted to lay in my bed. He said he was afraid he would get sick in my bed. :( What a sweetheart. I don't think when I was 4 I would have thought to be worried about that. I can tell he is still feeling puny, but he didn't get sick any more today.

Our workout tonight started out with a bit of excitement. When I changed into my workout clothes I noticed...get ready for this y'all....a TICK on my stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while you know that I already have a history with ticks. Really, what do I not have a history with besides common sense? I even ended up getting tested for Lyme disease after that last episode b/c of some medical issues I was having and thankfully I was negative. Well, I must have been admiring my shredded abs (hahahahaha) tonight when I noticed the little booger. I did my usual scream for Josh. I asked him where it could have come from and he said when I went outside. Y'all, I walked 5 feet to the storage shed. Seriously, I go out once in 2 weeks and I get a tick??

I wanted to make sure to get something to put it in to have it tested this time. Luckily (and really I am just so lucky, y'all :)I had a sterilized bag that my dr. gave me last time I went to transport my pee to the lab when I have another bladder infection. I came carrying it to the bathroom where Josh was looking for the tweezers and I wish you could have seen the look on his face. "Why do we have that????" he asked. Only me. That's all I can say. Only me. He proceeded to pull that sucker out of my skin and it is moments like that you wonder, "should they maybe be a little more specific in the wedding vows about exactly what you will go through together?" Of course the kids were yelling from the bedroom "WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT'S GOING ON?" It's the most excitement this house has seen in hours I tell ya.

Well, I was tempted to use my "condition" to sit out the shred, but I didn't. I persevered. I pressed on. I cried like a baby during the push-ups. I laughed until I couldn't sit up when we were doing reverse crunches and Josh said, "I never saw Rambo do these." No, me either. Bet he never pulled ticks off of people either.....

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