A Divinely Ordained Wait...

Waiting comes as naturally to me as breathing under water. Sometimes I feel that I have come such a long way in the area of patience, and then at other times I realize my progress is as slow as one of those turtles who gets to the middle of the road and has to hang out there because there are too many cars coming. Two weeks ago I had taken the kids to see the Easter bunny and when we got home Josh was upset. I can count on one hand the times I've seen him really upset or worried (as opposed to my quadruple weekly breakdowns). He had just found out that he had been laid off from his job with hospice. His job that provides our insurance and half of our income. I have to admit that it came as a shock to us. We knew that the numbers had been down at his office, but we didn't realize layoffs were coming.

I will be honest in saying that we are not sure what this means for us. We've been told that they are working on getting the numbers back up and he may have his job back in a few weeks. There is no guarantee in that and honestly we're just praying to know God's plan in all of it. I will not pretend that I have not had moments of stress or asking why. I'll be honest and tell you that it hurt my feelings a little bit because I feel like Josh and I have tried to be obedient in the things God has called us to do. On my way home that day I had actually started thinking about how confident I was in God leading me to quit my job to be at home. This situation brings up all kinds of questions. But let me tell you what I know. God is faithful. Let me tell you how I know this. Experience.

God's Word tells us He is faithful. In our hymns we sing "Great is thy Faithfulness". But I KNOW God is faithful because He has shown Himself faithful in our life. Some of you have been reading my blog since I started it in 2006. Can you believe I've been blogging that long? A lot of life sure has happened in those years! Anyway, I looked back in the archives and found my very first blog. It was written about this time of year in 2006. God had just called us to Mississippi but we had no jobs, no church. Seems to be a pattern! I wanted to share that blog with you and hope that just as that time began an amazing journey fashioned by God, that you will be joining us now as God is "doing a new thing". (Isaiah 43:18) I would also like to take this time to humbly and submissively remind Josh that he did pray for God to do a new thing this year! :)

May 27, 2006

"Remember, God purposes every second of a divinely ordained wait to build us into the individuals our future demands we be. One most peculiar and exquisite experience of the faith is realizing that while you haven't seen answers or the way you should take, you have learned how to see the light of God Himself. Right there in the blindness of your circumstance."

My friend Karen shared this quote with me from a Beth Moore study she is doing right now. It is very encouraging to me as I am in a definite waiting period. Right now Josh and I feel God leading us to Meridian and we feel we are supposed to go in August but neither of us have jobs, we can't really look for a place to live until we have jobs, and I have to get licensed in Mississippi and actually finish my degree before I can get a job. So, this is the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken. Josh and I have coined a new term- "peacefully stressed". Although I feel completely overwhelmed by the lack of concrete answers I've also never had such a peace about anything. I know that through the lack of mine and Josh's plans we will get to see God's plan in a way we never have before. I just pray that I will be faithful in seeing Him all the way.
I've claimed this verse:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:8-10