Just Bein' Real

I just put my kids to bed. It is 7:15. It is 45 minutes before their normal bedtime, but I just couldn't take another second. Have you ever been there? I've been feeling crummy all week due to a bladder infection and over the weekend we had to make an overnight trip to my mamaw's to attend my mom's cousins funeral. It was nice to get to see my family (my mom and brother even came from P.C.) and my mamaw's new trailer (her house burned down a few months back). However, I made a very fateful decision on that trip. I decided it would be too much trouble to pack up the playpen and that Kate could just sleep with us. WORST DECISION EVER! It came close to tying with my decision to get my bangs permed in 1988, but maybe due to the passing of time, I decided the playpen definitely took the cake.


There has been much controversy over the topic of "The Family Bed", that is the idea of children sleeping with there parents. I am not going to go into the research or issues or anything like that, I'm just going to tell you, it don't work in this family! First of all, I don't sleep well with others. I never have. It doesn't matter what size the bed is, I like to be laying diagonally across it. I have strong moral and spiritual reasons that Josh will be the only man I ever share a bed with, but mostly it is because I've invested a lot of time in adjusting to sharing a bed with him. :) Seriously, I wouldn't even sleep with stuffed animals when I was little because they would always end up smushed or on the floor and I didn't feel it was fair to them. Needless to say, this turned out to be a rough night. Josh had his fan plugged in at the end of the bed so he was turned with his feet on the pillow so the fan could blow on his face. He had also laid on top of the comforter so that it could not be pulled up over my head which is how I sleep so the fan doesn't blow in my face. :) Kate climbed to the headboard and started jumping on the bed. I pulled her down. Kate got down off of the bed and I put her back. Kate climbed on top of Josh and he moved her. Kate lay sideways in between us because there was *plenty* of room to do so. I was highly debating driving the three hours home to get the playpen (sleep deprivation makes us desperate doesn't it?) when she finally curled up next to me and passed out. I couldn't move or adjust the covers, but oh well. I could sleep.

The next day after the funeral my aunt called one of her friends to see if it would be okay to bring the kids to see his miniature ponies. You cannot imagine the excitement this brought my children, especially Sarah who LOVES horses. We packed up and headed down the street. I have to stop here and tell you that I have really been trying to pay more attention to my appearance. By that I mean I have tried to cut back the jeans and tees days to just a couple of days a week. I just have been trying harder to at least appear presentable, y'know what I mean? Well, needless to say, I was not really dressed appropriately for a trip to the barn. I had on my wedge heeled sandals and my trouser jeans (which are very long) and it had been raining earlier and anyway, the only way I can explain what my feet felt when they hit the ground is "mushy". Ewww!! As soon as we pulled up we saw the biggest dog I have ever seen. He was bigger than the ponies! I am not even kidding. I immediately said, "This looks like the dog from The Neverending Story!" I didn't have my camera with me so I will have to get my mom to send me a picture. It was really ridiculous how mesmerized by that dog I was. To show his love for me he sneezed on me and can I just tell you that big dogs have big snot? I know, this is so gross. But my cute trouser jeans were now covered in snot. Luckily I am a mom and this is a normal occurance. :) We enjoyed seeing the ponies and meeting a donkey named Willie Earl.

Soon it was time to pack up and head back to our metropolis, but first Mamaw let us know that she had a pile of bricks from her house that burned down if we wanted to take some. I decided I would get some for the kids to paint and we could use them to make a flower bed. We went to the backyard where they were piled and I have to tell you, fear struck. They were all piled up against a tree, but all I could think was that for sure there had to be a snake in there. I would say I have an irrational fear of snakes, but with the number I have seen (dead on the road) lately, I feel my fear is very rational. I sucked it up and started digging through the bricks. I still had on my wedge heeled sandals and no sooner than I had picked up the third brick, something slithered across my bare toe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did what any cool, calm and collected girl would do. I screamed! Everybody freaked out and came running. We all looked down and it was an.........
earthworm. Hey, don't judge me! It was a LONG earthworm. I promise you would have screamed too!

After all of that excitement life has been pretty calm. Calm in the way life is calm when you have three kids and live in the parking lot of the church. :) Today has been long. My kids having been pushing every button I have, spilling every drink I fix, and pretty much just bouncing off of walls. I've spent a lot of time on other women's blogs and I have found them so educational and challenging. They talk about meal plans and festive decorations and date nights with their husbands. I feel like they offer really good, practical, useful advice. It got me to thinking about my blog and how I truly have none of that to offer. I started thinking maybe I should just quit this blogging thing altogether if it really isn't building anybody up. But then, I realized that as much as I enjoy those other blogs they often leave me feeling intimidated and way out of their league. While I learn so much and aspire to grow in so many areas of my life, I felt like maybe some of you might feel like I do. That maybe sometimes you too need to know that other people are covered in dog snot and have 20 month olds who climb out of their playpen and sneek into the bathroom to climb on the sink and wash their pacifier. :) Maybe you too have more questions than you have answers most days. Maybe you are just worn out somedays. Me too. Just bein' real...

There'll Be Days Like This....

Days like today are why I have a blog. If it weren't for the fact that I knew at the end of the day I could tell my story and pretend like someone cares, I would probably just drown myself in cake frosting and diet coke. Okay, so I have done that, but I will get to that part later.

The day began about 5 or 6 when Kate wandered into our room with a book. Beauty and the Beast to be exact. This wandering into our room is a new thing as she sleeps in her playpen and has just recently learned to climb out. I have her toddler bed set up but have been worried about her getting up and wandering around the house while we're asleep. Guess that doesn't matter now! Anyway, she cuddled up with me and looked at her book. It was a sweet moment. How I wish I could enjoy moments at 5 o'clock in the morning more. :) She also entertained me greatly when I was changing her pull-up and she handed me her doll instead. She's a mess!

Today was designated housecleaning and cake making day. Yes, everyone here was as thrilled as you are imagining. Actually, my kids seemed extra eager to help clean I guess because of the excitement of Eli's party tommorrow. We adorned ourselves in our rattiest, housecleaning attire and got to it. It was a family affair and I must say it makes my life much easier when it is that way. I had a ton of stuff I had put in the hallway waiting to go to storage. Josh packed up Sarah and they headed to our storage unit in Newton. I noticed he had taken his truck and this was of particular interest to me because his battery had died in his truck and he had to take the one out of the jeep to get the truck to start. Not too long after he left my friend Kim called. We are planning our high school's ten year reunion and we needed to have a little pow wow about what to do if nobody decides to come. I'm trying really hard not to stress out about it, but it is quite an undertaking and all of us who are working on it live in different states and each have a million things going on. Anyway, as we hung up I got a text message of Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." My first thought was that it was sweet of that person to send it to me. Looking back I should have known it was a message from God preparing me.

Two seconds later Josh called. I figured he was going to tell me he was on his way home or ask if I needed anything from town. But he wasn't. He and Sarah were broke down at the storage place. This was quite a situation as I was at home with a jeep with no battery in it. One of our church members was working across the street at the cemetary. Another was in the field in our backyard working in the garden. They both had trucks. And I had two kids with car seats and needed to pick up two more people. Not good. Mr. R.B.'s truck also had a trailer hooked up and I cannot begin to tell you the visions of destruction that crossed my mind. I just can't even fathom how much damage I could do trying turn that trailer into a parking lot. I talked to Mr. Clyde and he said we could use his car that was at his house. He said I could take him home and get the car and then he remembered I had the kids. Finally, Mr. R.B. took him to his house and he brought us his car. A Mercedes Benz I might add. Hey, if you're going to have a day like this it doesn't hurt to get to drive a luxury car!!! I loaded up the car seats in the Benz and headed to rescue our fellow family members. Luckily I was only halfway down the street when I remembered I had forgotten the jumper cables. So we turned around. Eventually we made it to Newton.

Josh had me backing up and turning around trying to get in the right position and I realized in that moment why I cannot have a luxury vehicle. We were at a very busy place with lots of traffic and as I was backing up I prayed "Lord, please protect the car. Oh yea, and my kids too." We weren't able to get the truck jumped off so Josh just got in the car with us. We had to go by the Pig to get the cake mix for Eli's cake and we decided to make the most of it and pick up some barbecue from our favorite restaurant next to the Pig. I was going to run in the store and Josh was going to place our order, but we could not get the key out of the car to save our lives so I just ran in the store. I hadn't been in there 2 minutes when Josh and the kids came. So we all went to wait on our order. Can I just tell you we were all still in our rattiest, housecleaning clothes and we were looking ROUGH! Kate didn't even have shoes on. I had to laugh about us driving around in the Benz looking like we just come in from the farm.

We made it home just in time to scarf down our food and get ready for tball. Josh put the battery back in the jeep and it worked so we know something else is going on with his truck. (If you read my blogs often you know that we are really lucky with cars:) I got to drive the Benz all by myself to take it back. I so would have gotten a picture if I hadn't been looking like death warmed over all day. After another exciting tball adventure I came home to make the cake. Y'all, just in case you are wondering, I have not magically turned into Martha Stewart overnight, despite my extreme overconfidence that I could recreate the birthday cake that I would give you the link to, but I don't want you to ever see what it is really supposed to look like.

I will show you pictures after the party, but now I will just leave you with this info. I have nicknamed this cake the kidney cake, I don't ever want to see hot tamale candy again, and I am covered, literally, head to toe in colored frosting. All day long I had that song "Mama said there'd be days like this, there'll be days like this my mama said." You know that song? Well, by the time I got done with the cake, the new song was "From a Distance" by Bette Midler. No one will actually be allowed within 10 feet of the cake as it definitely looks better from a distance!! All I know is that I got to end this day licking frosting out of the can. Guess it could be worse!

These are the Days of our Life....

Well...I am still intending to let you know all about our trip, but first I decided to write an update for those of you who heard about our weekend. After my last blog I stayed up late making egg salad sandwiches for the lunch we were having at church on Sunday. I was so proud, I even made them fancy using one of my Pampered Chef gadgets. But, it turns out I should have just gone to bed early that night! Josh got up sick and informed me he couldn't go to church. Now let me tell you, when Josh says he is too sick to go to church he is sick!! We have been here almost 3 years and he has NEVER missed a service because he was sick. It worked out well that the choir was doing the Easter cantata and so he wasn't preaching anyway.

Josh went back to bed and me and the kids quarintined ourselves in the house. I was pretty sure nobody would want the "Fancy Stomach Virus Egg Salad Sandwiches" so I didn't send them. Sarah had a mini meltdown that we were not going to church because 1. Sarah cannot stand for people to be at the church and her not be there even if it is someone cleaning the bathrooms and 2. She had not seen her friends for *gasp* a whole week since we had been out of town. I am so thankful that my kids love church so much (it is very helpful since we are the preacher's family), but I really could have done without the fit throwing that morning.

I was planning to make the most of our quarintine and get caught up on laundry and housework. Okay, we all know I never caught up, but at least maybe I could make a dent. But, that was not meant to be either. Speaking of dents, as I started folding laundry Sarah picked Kate up and was carrying her across the living room when they both fell and Kate made a dent in her head on a sharp corner of one of our speaker things that I'm not really sure what it does. Anyway, when I picked Kate up she was bleeding so bad I couldn't tell where it was coming from! As soon as I cleaned her off and looked at the cut I was pretty sure she needed stitches. I wanted to go running over to the church and get the nutty nurse but I decided I needed to be a big girl and handle it myself. I called the After Hours clinic and they said they could do stitches there if she needed them. I seriously don't know how that place stayed in business before we moved here. They have built a very nice, new office since we've been here. :)

I felt bad leaving Sarah and Eli with Josh who couldn't even get out of bed but I knew there was no way I could handle all three of them at the doctors. I put in a movie for them and headed out with Kate. Can I just mention here that I had gone to sleep with my hair wet the night before and I was looking like some kind of a mess. It takes a good 4 hours to straigten my hair (a slight exaggeration) so I just put one of those big headbands on and put the rest of my hair in a ponytail. I looked like Aunt Jemima. However, that was the least of my concerns.

We sat at the After Hours Clinic for 45 minutes before the nurse practictioner informed me that she thought I should take Kate to the ER. I am thankful that she didn't try to do something she didn't feel like she could, but I was really wishing she could have told me that like 42 minutes earlier.

We headed to the ER and waited another hour or so there. Kate was not fussy at all, she was just bored. She made several escape attempts out of the waiting room and it seemed to entertain everyone greatly to watch me chase after her. When we were registering the lady asked if she were admitted if we would want the pastors to come visit. Before I could answer Kate said "NOOOO". Now, that is Kate's favorite and most used word right now, but it was pretty funny.

We finally got to back and do some more waiting. We checked everything out, we danced in circles, we spun in the dr.'s chair. At one point I got one of the latex gloves and was making a balloon out of it. Kate was entertained for a second. Then, it was like she saw that I was entertaining myself and distracted and she tried to escape. She's a tricky one, that one.

Finally the dr. came in and he had told us he would use glue instead of stitches and I was SOOOO relieved. It took 3 people to hold Kate down while he did the glue. I was just thankful I didn't have to be one of the three because I have had to hold Sarah down for medical things in the past and it is TORTURE!!!

So, that is the drama that was our weekend. I told everybody, when we come back to reality we really come back! Hope your weekend was less eventful and more fun!


Kate with her owie eating one of those egg salad sandwiches. :)

Kate's Owie :(

Everything is Brokeded...Again

Back in November I blogged about the time we were having with EVERYTHING we owned breaking. During that time my children had a deep discussion about things being a little "brokeded" or all the way "brokeded". Apparently it is that time again.

First, it was the dryer. Let me tell you about our dryer. My dad got it from a guy he knew who fixed old dryers when we got married. It was actually an old commercial laundry mat dryer and even though we didn't have to pay, I still had to push the change thing in to start it! That dryer had to have been 20 years old when we got it. We knew that the time was coming for a new one. It had gotten to the point that it took about 8 hours to dry one load of clothes. Seriously. One day I am going to write about how my family has personally created the energy crisis in this country, but I'll save that for another day. Anyway, last Thursday that dryer dried it's last load of clothes. It was a good dryer. It hung in there, I'll say that. I'm guessing in the seven years we had it that it dried 5 times more clothes than when it was getting paid at the laundry mat. We had been planning to get a new one as soon as our tax return got here, and that faithful dryer waited until the very week it came to die. Wasn't that thoughtful?

Then, the internet quit working. I was convinced I had just worn it out because I have been online so much lately. I'll be honest. During this time I realized that doing laundry and playing online occupy a huge amount of my life. If just the dryer had died I could've played online without feeling like I should be doing laundry. If just the internet had gone out I might have actually gotten some laundry done.

Josh came home Monday night with a new (used) dryer. It had all kinds of fancy things our other one did not have. Of course this one did not have a change slot. :) I was so impressed that Josh had loaded it in the truck and then was able to get it in the house and unload the old one and set up the new one. I supervised. We recently rented a storage unit because we felt it would be best to pay money to store all of the junk we have rather than going through it and the laundry room looks like a new place! You just don't understand. Before it was our mini garage and it was STUFFED to the max with boxes. We moved into this house the week before Christmas and anything we didn't feel like dealing with we crammed into that room. I am not kidding you when I tell you that I could not fit in the laundry room at the end of my pregnancy. That's bad, y'all!! Well, it got cleaned out and me and the laundry basket can fit in it now. But we hooked up the new dryer and I smelled something burning. I didn't have the heart to tell Josh who had made an hour long trip and then did all of that moving and loading and unloading. But, sure enough, it wasn't drying our clothes either.

He decided he would pack it up and take it back. Thankfully it came with a warranty. Then Josh sat down for a duel with the computer. We have a satellite for our internet and we thought the weather being bad was what was causing the problems, but we figured out it wasn't. The problem was we couldn't figure out what was the problem. I watched Josh adjust and readjust our wireless router and talk to 50 different tech support people. I think I literally saw him beating his head on the couch a few times.

Well, we got the dryer fixed (after Josh reloaded it, made the hour trip to the place and the hour trip back and reloaded it back into the laundry room) and I have been on marathon laundry duty since. I was so excited about my new, clean laundry room that I got a broom and mop organizer to hang on the wall. It wasn't a pretty sight, me trying to get it up there, and I'm thankful that the wall didn't get brokeded, but it's up! I have great dreams of being like those girls on Trading Spaces who can just hang up shelf or throw a piece of furniture together like nobody's business. But...I'm not there. I was so proud of my handiwork and went in the kitchen to get the broom and guess what was in the garbage? My broom. Broken in half. In the time it took me to hang the broom organizer, my kids broke the broom!

I thought I handled all of this pretty well for me, but I'll tell you what did me in. Pencils. You have to understand this about Sarah. She is obsessive compulsive about her pencils. I've never seen anything like it . It has to be sharpened to exactly the point she likes. Well, Josh had come home early to pick up the dryer and I was in the kitchen helping Sarah with her schoolwork. I was trying to erase something and the eraser just flew off the pencil! That was my breaking point! We have 400 pencils in this house and either they won't sharpen right or they don't have an eraser! Is it too much to ask for a decent pencil??? Luckily by that point Josh and I just started cracking up. What else can you do? I was ready to go make a public disturbance but couldn't you see the preacher's wife ending up in jail? "So what made you do it Mrs. Preacher's Wife?" "It was the pencils!! They just didn't work!!"

So...now you know what's been going on at the Fidler house this week. I call them Fidler Fiasco Weeks. Yes, we've had enough to name them. I would have posted some pictures of my new dryer and cleaned up laundry room, but you guessed it...my camera is brokeded. :)

My Day of Beauty

As I mentioned in my last blog I have had a very uneventful week at home sick. I had read all of my library books, googled every website known to mankind, and watched all of my CSI:Miami Season 6 DVD's. So....like I said, it's been pretty uneventful. And, since I was up until 5:00 this morning!!!!!!!!!! because my side hurt every time I laid down I decided maybe it was time to head to the doctor. Josh had planned to be at home today to work on sermons so by the time I rolled out of bed and threw my nappy hair into a clip I headed out for the after hours clinic in Bay Springs. It was SOOOO nice today and I really wanted to be going for a walk and was really kicking myself for not going to the dr. earlier in the week and getting better.

I pulled up and there was a parking lot of people. Yay. I was so thrilled to go expose myself to the multitude of germs that awaited. :) Well, the receptionist looked like she had already had a day and I noticed there was a sign that said they would not be accepting any more patients until after 1:00. Great. I then decided I would go drop off our library books. Sarah just got her first library card and the library has become our favorite hangout. We really missed it this week. We are allowed 10 items from the library at a time on our cards and Sarah feels like me that we should get 10 items everytime we go! So, I had an ARMFUL of books and movies to drop off. I found a way to position them and made my way to the door. What did the sign say? They didn't open until 1:00 today. I made a mental note that if I had to go back to work I wanted a job at the library and hauled my books back to the jeep. I started debating. It was about 11:15. I didn't want to go home just to turn back around. I needed to go get measured for my bridesmaid dress for my sister in law's wedding. I was looking and feeling like the 11th plague, but I figured this might be my only alone time out of the house before I had to have the measurements to her. So, I ventured on to Laurel.

Now, let me stop here and tell you that I cannot think of anything more humiliating than going into a fancy dress shop where all of the salespeople are dressed to the nines and have perfect hair and makeup and having a complete stranger take your measurements. Although, having someone you KNOW may be equally or far more humiliating. That is like when my sister worked at a tanning salon and spray tanned me for her wedding because I was 7 months pregnant and could not tan. I know I could not let a stranger do that, but at the same time I am sure Jenny had horrific nightmares of my blessed belly for months. But...I digress. Anyway, back to feeling humiliated did I also mention that I had taken no time to get ready, had no make-up and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt? I actually passed a pick-up truck on the side of the road where they were selling perfume and I thought about stopping. But I didn't.

Well I got to the dress shop and it actually wasn't too bad. There was another lady in jeans and a t-shirt so I didn't feel so bad. The lady made me stand in front of a full length mirror which I do not understand. I guess it was so I could have a visual of the abysmal measurements she was writing down. It also gave me the chance to see a bleach spot on my t-shirt. Not a big one, just big enough to say "I have no self pride and don't even look at myself before I leave the house." :) It was pretty quick and painless until I got out of the store and looked at the paper. As my friend Shelly says, "FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!" I can never remember what "normal" measurements are and I was trying to remember that Baby got Back song when he says the measurements. You know what I'm talking about? Anyway, all I could think when I saw my hip measurement is that Mr. Sir Mix-A-Lot would probably consider me quite the overacheiver!!

After vowing not to eat for the next 3 months I realized I still had a little bit of time before the magical 1:00 hour when the clinic and the library would come to life. On my way I had noticed a Sally Beauty supply store but as I was sitting there I noticed something even more glorious across the street. A Walgreens! Please do not ask what my deal is with drugstores. I truly do not know. I do know that when I check out I become convinced I need a 12 step program. And...it is March! I love March! It is just so exciting to me when the weather starts to change and spring is on the way. So how do I celebrate every year? With new make-up of course! So I spent a few minutes at Walgreens. I was proud to realize that I have gained a great deal of self-control in the last few years, mainly due to the fact that I've finally learned there are some beauty issues that they just don't make products for!! I did get a new mascara and nail polish. That is also a sign of spring. I get very lazy about painting my toenails during the winter so it is like a rite of passage to get my new toenail polish for sandal season!

When I left I decided to bite the bullet and go get my eyebrows waxed. It was way overdue and my time out of the house alone is about as rare as finding something that's not fried on a Mississippi menu. I figured I was already feeling bad, might as well just suffer through it all at once. :) Can I just say that sometimes it stinks being a girl and especially a girl with dark hair? Let's face it, blonde girls can get away less grooming. They just can. That's why blondes have more fun! They don't have to get waxed as much!! The girl put the wax on and as soon as she did I knew it. I could feel it. I was thinking, 'Isn't that half of my eyebrow?' She gave me the mirror to see after she was done but what can you say? At that point it is done. Do you demand her to put it back? Ask her to go ahead and take all of it and get intensive lessons in penciling in eyebrows? What can you do? I was just glad it was on the side that my bangs lay. Praise God for small mercies, right? No, there will be no pictures with this post. There will probably be no pics of me for quite a while!!

On my way home I started thinking about my "day of beauty". I know I've blogged about seeking that inner beauty and the beauty that only comes from our Lord. But I gotta tell ya, sometimes I wish the plain old physical kind was easier to come by! I was raised by a true southern belle. I don't think I saw my mama without make-up until I was like 10. Seriously. Mississippi girls don't do the dishes without lipstick on do you hear me? My mom is beautiful and I have a drop dead gorgeous sister who has done modeling and was blessed with all of the fashion sense between us. She always has the cutets outfits and the best hair. I have struggled to overcome my jeans, t-shirts and ponytail ways. I've always wanted to be one of those perfectly manicured, meticulously dressed, look like they just walked out of the salon people. Of course the people who walk out of the salon with both of their eyebrows!! :) I blame my lazy fashion ways on growing up a dancer. I had a dance class at school, and band practice after school and then usually another dance class after that. While going through the shed at my parent's house I found one of my dance team t-shirts and my brother said "You lived in that" and it is so true! I also was never allowed to have fingernail polish on the dance team. Even though we wore hideous white gloves when we performed we still got checked at every game. For real, y'all!!

So, now I've traded my dancing shoes for tennis shoes as I run errands and do chores. I choose my clothes based on what I will not have to iron and what will hide baby drool and apple juice the best. I continually have the best intentions about keeping my nails painted and my lipstick on. My poor husband! I guess I have learned that when you go days without makeup living in jeans and a t-shirt you definitely get noticed for even the smallest attempt made! I like to set the bar low!!! I am a total candidate for "What Not to Wear" and please, somebody feel free to nominate me! Just DON'T ASK FOR MY MEASUREMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

This is dedicated to the one I love...

In the spirit of Valentine's Day (which I'm not all that big on to be honest) I've decided to dedicate a blog to my husband, co-creator, and best friend Josh. He gets mentioned in my blogs many times, but mostly it is in reference to some crazy way that he has had to bail me out of some unbelievable situtation. So, I thought I would share how much I love this person who has apparently signed some kind of contract in which he will receive a million dollars for every year he puts up with me, or something like that. I cannot figure out another reason why he has put up with me this long.

In a time when so many people have lost all hope in true and lasting love, I am so thankful to God for my love story. I know that He has written it because it has been too well orchestrated for Josh or myself who both struggle a bit in the planning area. :) Apparently it started in fifth grade when I was much more interested in Barbie's than boys, but Josh swears he had a crush on me then. He even told me that he didn't ask me to sign his class T-shirt because he was too nervous to talk to me. For our one year anniversary I got one of those T-shirts from my 5th grade teacher and signed it Emily Fidler. :)

We didn't really have any contact again until 10th grade. We had chemistry together. The class I mean. Ha! Josh was so quiet and never talked. I was totally obsessed with some other boy. Josh still tells me that he knew since 5th grade we were supposed to be together and so I really wish he would have clued me in on that revelation and saved my needless obsessing and rejection by other people! The only thing I really remember was being in a group together and trying to draw a line and I couldn't even draw it straight with a ruler. Josh had to do it. He did it straight without the ruler.

You know how you always hear the stories of people running into each other's arms on the beach or something really romantic about how they first knew they liked each other? Well, let me tell you what I remember about our night. We were at McDonald's. It was after a football game and it was freezing. I had on about 10 layers of clothes and I really needed to go to the bathroom. Josh says we started talking about our history class and he just fell in love with me. Go figure. So much for all of the magazine articles about hair, makeup and flirting. I had just spent four hours at a football game, my hair was falling out of the mandatory french braid I had to wear as part of the dance team, and like I said I had on ten layers of sweats that didn't match. To top it off I chose the fascinating subject of history class to discuss! I was obviously not anticipating finding love at McDonald's that night. To this day the only thing I remember is how much I needed to go to the bathroom.

Well, it must be meant to be if it starts out that romantic right? Ha! At that time I had recently had my heartbroken and I was not in the mood to do it all over again. So, I did not make things easy for Josh. I'm very glad he was persistent! You can ask anybody who knew us then, we were JUST FRIENDS! It became my mantra. When I finally agreed to go to our junior prom with him I made it very clear that we were going as JUST FRIENDS!!!

I kept that up for a few more months, but the truth was that the first time we danced together I knew he was the one. I felt safe with him. I guess that doesn't sound very romantic, but my all time favorite verse is Proverbs 4:23. It says "Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." I've always taken guarding my heart very seriously and somehow I just knew with Josh that it would be safe.

I know I drove him crazy with all of the "friend" stuff and a whole list of rules I had. Yes, I had rules. But for some reason he decided I was worth all of it, and that was exactly what I needed. Someone who thought I was worth fighting for. And waiting for. I felt God leading me to a college 6 hours away from home and even though I knew I was supposed to marry Josh, I also knew that I was supposed to go to that school. It was hard and Josh and I could probably have bought a house with what we spent on phone cards, but he waited.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this. I guess just thinking about Valentine's Day. Things have a way of becoming so commercialized to the point that they start to lose their meaning. I feel sad for our kids growing up in a time when they are taught to be cynical about love and to just accept that relationships never last and everybody ends up miserable in the end. I don't believe it!

Our first Valentine's Day together, I really got into the whole experience. I cooked Josh's favorite food (okay, it wasn't really his favorite, but it was the only thing I knew how to make) and I set the table with the fancy dinnerware (that was before we had moved 50 times and had 3 kids to break it all) and I even lit a fire in the fireplace. Well...those were the days Josh was working LONG hours as a breadman and I had not yet learned to add 2 hours onto whatever time he said he would be home. Anyway, in the process of preserving the food and the candlelight I managed to nearly burn our apartment down. I had put a candlebra with 6 or 7 candles on the floor in front of the fireplace. Yea, not a good idea. It took me a while to figure out that all of the candles were completely melting all over the tile. I mean COMPLETELY melting. I picked wax off of that floor for weeks.

Not too long after that a country song came out called "I Melt". Josh and I couldn't help but crack up everytime we heard it and had to make up our own version "Everything melts!"
I've been thinking about that Valentine's Day and that song and I realize that Josh still makes me melt. It would take days and weeks and months and years to write about all of the things, good and bad, that we have experienced since that first Valentine's Day, but the truth is that we love each other more now than we did when we had fancy plates to eat on. :)

I hope that all of you had an awesome Valentine's Day and if you are still waiting for that special someone, don't lose heart! Just guard your heart and be willing to wait. The best things are always worth waiting for!!

LOST

Can I be honest with you? Sometimes I feel a little lost. Not in a spiritual, don't know God kind of way. Just in the general, what the heck is going on kind of way. I started thinking about this because since we moved to Mississippi we've only had one channel and LOST has become my favorite show. Despite the fact that I became obssessed with it and had to rent all of the seasons I had missed to catch me up, I'm having a hard time following it this season. Mostly because you have to have an attention span longer than three minutes to be able to follow it and I seem to be lacking greatly in that area.

Being lost has been a theme lately. Last Friday night Josh and I were supposed to go to an associational pastors and deacons banquet. After the week I had I was thrilled to be going any where out of my house without my children! Again, just being honest. We started the evening out late, which is par for the course for us. The sad thing is I thought we were going somewhere else and I didn't know we were running late. I thought I had timed it perfect. I really couldn't figure out why Josh kept asking if he could do something to help me get ready. I didn't trust him with the hair straightener or the eye shadow, so we just left late. We got the kids dropped off and headed out. There really is nothing like looking for county roads in Jasper County in the dark on highways that have no street lights. I can't see worth a flip anyway so I just offered encouragement like, "Maybe we should turn around" and "I don't think it would be in this county." :) Well, long story longer, we passed our turn and Josh just decided we would drive on to Laurel and get supper. I hate to admit it, but I was kind of excited. I can't remember the last time Josh and I went on a date and these days I have to take it however I can get it! That night getting lost had its perks.

Then on Monday the kids and I headed out to Wal-Mart. I really could write a book just about my experiences at Wal-Mart in the last year. We went to a different one than the one we usually go to and the whole time Eli was saying, "Are we lost? I think we're lost. Are we crashing? Are we racing?" :) He has this thing about crashing and being lost and I'm not sure why because Sarah is the only one who ever gets in wrecks with me. I haven't crashed with Eli once! (For anyone who doesn't know, I put my jeep in reverse and got out and watched it roll through a parking lot with Sarah in it. Yes, that was another blog.)

Well, I guess we all just have those times. I often feel lost in my own little world. Lost in piles of laundry and dishes. Lost in the woods. I even felt at a loss for words for a few days, though I doubt you will believe that! Then I heard a song I haven't heard in forever. Lost in Emotion! Very old school, very stuck in my head this week.

To top off my lost theme Josh came home from school Monday night and told me something that I had never heard in all my years in church. Somehow we started talking about the Israelites and their wanderings in the wilderness. You know, they spent 40 years trying to get to the Promised Land. I kind of understand because we live an hour and a half from Target. Ha! Just kidding. Anyway, he told me something that just blew my mind. Did you know that the actual trip to the Promised Land should have only taken 11 days?!?! Holy cow! Can't you just hear the Israelite women? "I told you we should stop and ask for directions!!" I tried to imagine 40 years listening to Eli say "Are we lost? I think we're lost?" Then I could imagine Sarah leading the way because she always knows exactly what is going on. :) Then I started thinking about Kate and wondering, "Did they have strollers?" Okay, I started getting a little side tracked.

As I thought about the 40 year trip that should have only taken 11 days it made me think about life now. As much as we look back at the Israelites wandering in the wilderness and wonder what in the world they were thinking, I know that we all have lost times. Times when we lose sight of God's direction or try to jump ahead of Him a little bit. When we were getting ready to move to Mississippi I accepted a job that I really didn't feel I was supposed to just because I was desperate to have a job. Fortunately God stepped in and put me back on track with the job I was supposed to have. I later found out the other company was being investigated for fraud! I wouldn't have just lost a job but I could have lost my social workers license as well! I'm still praising God I didn't have to suffer the wandering that decision could have cost me.

It is still a struggle sometimes knowing God's plans and more than that WAITING for God's plan. I've had many conversations with people about that this week as well. I'm a big believer that the plans God has for us are good, not just in spending eternity with Him, but here on earth as well. Often it is just the waiting to get to the good part that is so hard. Josh said that if you could look down at the path the Israelites took it would literally be a zigzag of circling through the wilderness. That's where our own plans and decisions get us. Lost, dizzy and in a big mess.

I love these verses: "Teach me your way, O LORD, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:11-14.

That wasn't supposed to happen!

You may say I'm a dreamer...and you would be totally right. Despite more days, events, holidays, and get togethers that have gone disasterfully wrong, I still cling to hopes of warm, fuzzy holidays. Christmas Eve this year was no exception.

I had worked extra hard to get all of the shopping, wrapping, visiting, baking, and partying done this year so that we could have Christmas Eve to do NOTHING! I really wanted a quiet day of movie watching and quiet reflection. Ha! Do you remember that I have 3 kids? Apparently I had forgotten.

We went to Movie Gallery the night before and stocked up on movies and I was really excited about a National Geographic movie I got about Polar Bears for the kids. I thought it would be fun to watch and educational. Sarah set up a blanket on the floor for a picnic and I set to making some grilled cheese sandwiches. All was well until Kate grabbed Sarah's tea and Sarah grabbed it back out of Kate's mouth causing her to bite her tongue and bleed everywhere! I got that taken care of and was getting the sandwiches out of the sandwich maker when Sarah said, "Okay, I made room for you. Me and Eli have little spots, but we made a big spot for you since you have a big bottom." Thanks so much Sarah! After several attempts to sit down that included a few trips back to the kitchen for tea and paper towels, we finally started the movie.

Wow, I didn't realize exactly how that movie experience would go. Let me share what I remember; "Mommy, do whales bite?" "Do walruses bite?" "What do whales eat?" "What do fish eat?" "How many whales are in the ocean?" "Do foxes bite?" "Why are they fighting?" All I can say is thank the Lord for Google. Did you know there is a whale called the unicorn of the sea that has a big tusk that grows out of it's head? I do now! :)

About halfway through the movie Kate got choked on her sandwich and threw up on me. Yay. One movie, 900 questions, bleeding and puking. As Eli is famous for saying, "That wasn't supposed to happen!"

Christmas Eve night we had a come and go service at the church for families to come and take the Lord's Supper. I have to be honest, I was a little bit hesitant about this. Since Josh would be performing the Lord's Supper when I took it I was not sure who would be wrangling our children in a sanctuary full of lit candles. This was weighing on me when we began to get ready. I also realized that even though I had carefully planned and shopped for Christmas Day, we had nothing in our house to eat for supper that night. So, I called Pizza Hut. They were closing at 7:00 that night and it was 5:45 when I called. The service started at 6:30. We live 30 minutes from the Pizza Hut and no, they do not deliver to the metropolis of Montrose.

This was starting to feel like one of those math problems on the ACT. If you have 3 kids to dress for a church service and it takes 15 minutes to catch the 1 year old, 45 minutes to find a pair of shoes that match, and you have to make an hour trip to get pizza, what time will you get to the Christmas Eve service? a) 15 minutes after it starts, b) it ain't happening, give it up or c) how much time is alloted for the trip to the institution?

Well, since it was come and go I decided we would get ready, go get the pizza, get back toward the end of the service and that way maybe most people would have already been and my kids could wander without disturbing people.

Sarah got herself dressed and I was very thankful for that. But, once she was dressed she looked at me as serious as a heart attack and asked "Should I wear my Hannah Montana wig?" Now that had me rolling. But it got even better a few minutes later when kicking dress up clothes out of the way on the floor. My mom had given my kids a bag of my old dance costumes and I happened to notice that my pep rally skirt from high school was in there. I picked it up and Sarah asked, again as serious as a heart attack "Are you going to wear that?" First of all, that skirt wouldn't fit around my neck now, much less my "big bottom". Secondly, couldn't you just see us busting up in the church in a Hannah Montana wig and a pep rally skirt!!!! That was a visual that caused me to laugh hysterically everytime I thought of it.

Well, we were finally all dressed (sans wig and sans pep rally skirt) and headed out the door when I heard it. The bottom fell out. It was pouring!! We made our way to Pizza Hut anyway and I was so thankful for a drive through window I could've hugged somebody!

When we did get back to the church no one was there. In spite of the chaos of the day (or the normalcy, depending on if you compare it to my everyday life or someone else who really is normal), the time at church turned into quite a blessing. The sanctuary was completely dark except for the candlelight and that was the first time that I've ever taken the Lord's Supper alone. It was a very special moment especially since it was my husband performing it. Then, to make it even more special Sarah took her first Lord's Supper. It was really awesome being there just as a family and being able to explain everything to Sarah. This Christmas had extra meaning for me to think that God sent His baby to earth so that my baby could accept Him into her heart!

Things didn't go exactly as I had planned that day. Of course, that is how the Isrealites felt wasn't it? Jesus was supposed to be a mighty king and ruler, not a little baby. Things don't always go according to our plan, but we can rest assured that God is always in control and His plan is always best!!!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!!!!!!

It's the thought that counts?

I know that I've been talking about Sarah a lot, but she continues to provide stories for me on a daily basis.

Yesterday was her Christmas party with her dance class and her teacher was so sweet. She gave all of the girls a present. They practiced for their upcoming Christmas recital and then pigged out and opened their presents. I went over to take Sarah her plate and reminded her to thank her teacher for her gift. Ms.Dana had given all the girls a Hannah Montana diary. Sarah smiled and nodded and said excitedly, "I got a diarrhea!"

Oh dear. I guess it's the thought that counts? :)

This is why I should never leave the house......

Can I just start this by saying, I'm exhausted!!! I pretty much stay that way, but I'm a little more so because I am in recovery mode after two back to back trips out of town. We went to Panama City for Thanksgiving, stayed 5 days, came home, then I packed up with my 3 kids by myself and headed back just 5 days later. We stayed 7 days and drove home in the storm of the century. Okay, that's a little bit exaggerated, but I only got 45 minutes of sleep the night before I drove home so it all seemed a little crazier. Somehow, despite the fact that it was mostly 70 degrees while we were in P.C. I drove home to a winter wonderland. We got 4 inches of snow!!

After a great visit with my family we got back in time for the Bay Springs Christmas parade. Sarah was in it with her dance class so we had to go. Do you sense my excitement? We actually ended up having a good time and it only lasted about 15 minutes. :) I kept going on and on about it being Kate's first Christmas parade and then I realized that it was all of my kids first Christmas parade!! Can you believe that? I've never taken my kids to a Christmas parade. I honestly don't know if I had been to one since me and Josh got married!

On Saturday we headed to Meridian to price some groceries for an event we're having at church. When we got there I realized that I had left my wallet in my purse which I didn't bring b/c I had the diaper bag. Then Josh couldn't find his when we were unloading the kids. I happened to look back in the front seat and saw it lying on the console. It was a good thing I looked because the keys were still in the ignition too!! While Josh was talking to the manager I pushed the kids in an old buggy that didn't roll properly and we got some apple juice, diet cokes, and cream filled cookies. (You know, the staples. ). Sarah also picked up some Pringles. We got ready to check out and Josh had to head back to the jeep to get some paper to write our order on. He handed me his wallet and we got in line. Before I realized it Sarah already had her Pringles rung up and she was getting a dollar out of her wallet. (It was a gift from Aunt Jenny and the best gift ever, she loves paying for her own stuff now!) She seems to be the only one who can keep up with a wallet! Anyway, while she was attempting to pay Eli was trying to put the other things on the belt and Kate was proceeding to pull 85 bags of candy off a display at the checkout. By the time I picked all of the candy up (3 times) the cashier had everything rung up. I opened Josh's wallet and there wasn't enough cash!! I had just assumed he had some in there. (We all know what happens when we assume, right?) I couldn't find our debit card and I kept looking for him to come back inside. But he didn't! Finally, I did find the debit card, thankfully and we got out of the store as fast as the messed up buggy that wouldn't roll would go.

We then went to Lifeway where we spent most of the time in the bathroom. I'm just curious, do most people have to go to the bathroom twice in a 20 minute shopping outing? My people do. That night we were home for about an hour then headed down to the city hall for the city Christmas party. We always get to go eat steaks becasue they ask Josh to come and pray. Then me and Cortnee tried to stay awake while Matt and Josh played football on the playstation until 11:30. Of course, it didn't matter what time we went to sleep because it wasn't long before Sarah and Eli were in our bed and I was posed in my totally uncomfortable, trying to not smother my children sleeping pose.

This morning was exciting as Sarah went forward to let the church know that she asked Jesus into her heart! It was great too because one of our church members kept Kate and Eli in the nursery so I actually got to know what was going on in church. I was not so lucky tonight. I was teaching the ladies discipleship training class tonight and had no one to watch my kids. I got to retrieve Kate from the piano several times as she attempted choir practice during my lesson. At one point while I was teaching she just took off out of the room I'm sure everyone learned so much as I stopped every 3 seconds to chase her! Then it was time for big church. Me and the 3 of them sat in the back pew. You know those toys where you hit a monkey or something and another one pops up? That is totally what church with my kids is like. I get one of them content and another one acts up. Tonight I was holding Kate while she flipped through the hymnal, Sarah was laid on me wanting her back scratched and Eli was in Kate's face kissing on her and saying "Hey babygirl! Hey babygirl!" I always feel bad because I feel like I'm supposed to be there to support Josh and pray for him, but most of the time I'm just praying that it will be over soon. A while back we were doing a study on Revelation and I told Josh that there was nobody in there praying for Jesus to come back sooner than me!!

Well, Jesus hasn't come back yet so I guess we'll keep pressing on. Just in case any of you have visions of glamourous preacher's wives who are dressed in beautiful skirt suits smiling and saying "Praise the Lord" I'm sorry to burst your bubble. I'm in the back wearing pants (because with my kids dresses have a way of getting pulled up to places preacher's wives dresses should not be) covered in apple juice, snot, and soggy goldfish crumbs, giving Josh the LOOK that says, "They're yours when we get home!!", and praying that we will make it through without any destruction of property. Oh well, this is why I should never leave the house!!!!!!!

How do you know?

A little known fact about myself is that I went to college on a forensics scholarship. No, it so didn't pay for all of the private school tuition, and no forensics is not CSI. It is speech and debate. Don't ask me how after 16 years of dance training I did not make the Dixie Darlings, my original plan, but instead ended up with a scholarship in speech and debate, something I had little to no experience in. It's like all of my life, a loooong story. Anyway, I've recently been reminded of those days after coming across a group of the people I debated with on Facebook.

Again, I have no idea how I ended up doing debate. I am the most non-debating person you will ever meet. I hate conflict and avoid arguments like the plague. I could give a mean informative speech and my college roomate/best friend Karen can still quote the introduction to my speech on the hydrogen car (I was so ahead of my time!) from 9 years ago. Somehow quiet, daydreaming, balleting Emily fell into a world of 24 news watching, news article downloading, and hanging out with boys (and a few girls) who spent hours arguing (and that inlcuded arguing about the directions on how to get to tournaments) and discussing foreign policy and utilitarianism. If I don't have anything else to show for my college degree, I can tell you about utilitarianism!! By the way, as an 18 year old freshman can I just tell you that my knowledge on foreign policy probably made Paris Hilton seem educated!

I was only at William Carey for a year and one trimester. I decided to change my major and they didn't offer it. I often think back on that time and wonder exactly what God had me there for. I got my best friend out of the deal, and that totally makes my million dollars of student loan debt and the tortuous weekends when EVERYBODY on campus got to home except for me and handful of other kids worth it. But recently I have decided that there was another purpose not only in me being at William Carey, but also for putting me on the debate team. Her name is Sarah.

I've talked about Sarah before and her strong will. Did I also mention she likes to debate? I've decided recently that saying she likes to debate sounds better than arguing or talking back. I am fully convinced that one day Sarah will be a national champion debater. And...if it pays for her college education I will feel that it is my reward for our daily "debates". Bless her heart, Sarah is one of those people who could argue with a wall. She's so much smarter and more curious than I ever was. When I was little and asked why the sky was blue, my mom could say "God made it that way" and I would say, "Oh, okay, that's cool". When Sarah asks that question I need to be prepared with a flow chart and multiple sources to explain precipitation.

While there are times when I just want to scream "Can't we all just get along?", I am also challenged and excited by Sarah's debating abilities. While my feeble little mind is so easily swayed by whatever people may tell me, Sarah never takes anything at face value. Today on the way home from school we were talking to her friend Brittany about how Josh's uncle was going to bring his plane to take us flying, but the weather was too bad. Brittany said that airplanes scared her and I got scared that Sarah would decide she was scared too. I shared that I have never been flying and Brittany said that she hasn't either, but it just scares her. Without skipping a beat Sarah asked, "How do you know? How do you know it's scary?"

You see, that's my Sarah. She's not going to let someone decide how she should feel about something. She has to experience it. How many times have I been too scared to try something new because someone else told me it was scary? How many times have I taken someone else's word about a person without taking the time to get to know them myself? How many times have I accepted the boring, short response instead of delving into the detailed, complex, but so much more interesting answer?

I feel challenged. When I am tempted to shy away from a new experience I hope I'll be brave enough to ask myself "how do you know". I might find something I really like!!

A little peace and quiet

It's so funny how life changes you. Last night the music awards were on and that used to be one of my favorite things. Seeing the performances, what people are wearing, the whole thing. But last night I really could've cared less. One, I am getting old and I don't even know who a lot of the people are anymore. And two, I was so distracted by my excitement that I'm getting a new stove today!! Please, someone tell me, when did stoves become exciting?
Anyway, on the same note, I just realized that Kate and Eli are both napping, Sarah is at a friend's house, my kitchen is clean (like the counters have been bleached down clean), and I've already done a load of laundry. And I...am thrilled by all of this. Again, I'm not sure when a clean kitchen and sleeping children became the goal of my life but I'm enjoying it!

I am so excited right now because I feel like I am coming out of a funk. Do you ever get in those? I don't think I realized how long it would take me to transition from working full time to being at home full time. It is really a big change, but I now feel ready to embrace it full on! I decided that a lot of my funk was trying desperately to live up to standards set too high. Believe me, that is my specialty, setting standards too high. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in high standards, I've just learned that when you have 3 kids under the age of 6 sometimes you gotta let some things go!

Here are some things I've decided for me:

It is more important to me that my kids are compassionate, caring, thoughtful people than that they are overacheiving, robots. So that means that it's okay to make mistakes as long as we grow from them and people are more important than activities or chores. It's important to keep things clean and to be involved in certain activities, but sometimes these things need to take a backseat to rocking the baby time or reading with the big kids time.

I'm the boss. I'm the one in charge of running my house and that means that I have to have a plan and goals just like I did with my job. This isn't a time to be lazy or lose my brain, but rather a time when I need the organizational skills of a CEO and the creativity of Picasso!

I'm the teacher. That is scary! But God has given me the job of teaching my kids everything from how to tie their shoes to why the grass is green to the Ten Commandments. But I know that my biggest lessons are the ones that are observed like bacteria under a microscope. Those are the lessons I teach in how I react under pressure, how I show love to strangers (and the people I know who are sometimes the hardest to love!), how I treat their daddy, and how I spend my time. That's the scary part to me because I know I've set some bad examples. Those are the times I pray a lot for opportunities to teach little ones about grace and forgiveness!

The most important thing I have decided is that I have to be the wife and mom that God made Emily to be, and that is not always the one I want to be!! But while I may admire and learn from other moms, I have to use my strengths and skills instead of living in a pity party about all of my weaknesses and lack of skills. I've also learned that being a home is probably more for me than my kids. There are other people who could teach my kids many of life's lessons. But I don't think any other experience could teach me the lessons of patience, humility, and prayer that I'm still learning.

Finally, I am learning the tools needed for this job. As a social worker I was equipped with pens, paperwork, referrals, phone numbers, and bug spray. (Don't ask). Now, as a mom I pack an arsenal of baby wipes, sippy cups, cheerios, and crayons. In addition to those tangible tools I am working on adding patience, grace, a sense of humor, and prayer, prayer, and more prayer!!! Most importantly I am learning the priceless value of a little peace and quiet!
Currently reading : Becoming a Chief Home Officer By Allie Pleiter

Parsley

It's never good when someone calls and asks how you're doing and you have to answer, "I'm just stting on the side of the road crying." I didn't add that I was praying that no truck driver would be having a bad day and swerve even an inch as there was no margin of error where I was parked.

This day started as a normal Saturday. I needed to go grocery shopping. We had to make an unexpected trip out of town the weekend before and we were getting down to our last saltine. But, being the true diva that I have become I decided I needed to make the 45 minute trip into Meridian. You see, our Wal-Mart does not carry the South Beach Diet Pizzas and for some reason I have become totally addicted to them. Anyway, I got to Wal-Mart and was sitting in the jeep looking through my coupons (my small attempt to save money) when out of nowhere there was a loud sound that sounded just like someone had hit me. (I know that sound too well-see previous blogs). I looked up and realized I hadn't felt anybody hit me and that is when the smoke began rising. My heart sank and my mind raced. This had happened to me before. I started to panic but I thought that maybe if I went inside to shop by the time I came out it would have cooled down enough to drive.

When I got out I was disheartened to see a green liquid all over the ground. I couldn't remember what that meant, but I knew it wasn't good. A man came over and said, "Something broke". I don't know what it is about me that I always come across the most helpful people. He told me that it should cool down while I was shopping so I was glad that I had figured that much on my own.

I did my shopping and it took quite awhile. Now that I am at home I am determined to try new recipes and check labels to see how healthy the food is. I'm still learning though. One of my recipes called for parsley and I realizedt that I didn't know if it meant real parsley or the kind in the seasoning section. So, I got both. I did decide that if we could learn to live off of real parsley then we could fit our groceries into our budget and I could fit into my clothes. So, now I'm trying to switch to an all parsley diet. Um, yeah right. Oh well. I also got the anti-freeze that Josh had instructed me to get to refill whatever had just blown up in the jeep.

When I got back to the parking lot I loaded the bomb shelter quantity of food I had bought into the jeep. Then, I had to figure out where to put that anti-freeze stuff. So, there I was on the phone trying to hold up the hood of the jeep and open the anti-freeze bottle. As I opened the hood and asked Josh where it was supposed to go I saw a cap that said "Anti-freeze". That was very helpful. I've decided I'm going to create a girl friendly car with pretty colors and big letters and arrows showing where everything goes. I'm pretty sure I spilled more anti-freeze than I actually got into the thing (that's technical mechanical talk), but the jeep started and seemed to be doing ok for a little while.

Once I was on the interstate it started overheating again, but Josh was on the phone telling me that it should be okay once I got out of town. Just as I passed the exit I was going to stop at the jeep started slowing down. No matter how hard I pressed on the accelerator the speed was dropping. I kept hearing this noise but I was driving past the airport and I thought it was a plane or something. Then I noticed it would go away when I took my foot off the accelerator. I was making that noise!! I pulled off on the side of the road. This was not a good situation. Josh was at home with all three kids and had no way to come get me as his car is still not running. I called Karen who will probably start blocking my calls from now on and she said she could come and take me and my groceries home.

It was at that point my friend Brandi called. She had been to a ladie's retreat and was excited to tell me about it. That was when I shared my predicament with her. I was, in fact, sitting on the side of the road crying. I told her Karen was on her way and she told me that she could talk to me while I waited. It was good to hear how her weekend had been and think about something besides the fact I had blown up the motor in the only running vehicle we have and that I just got my last paycheck two weeks ago. When my phone first rang I thought it was the worst timing possible. But after we talked I realized that God was so good to send me encouraging words in my time of distress. Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."

On the way home (after we had unloaded all of the groceries and reloaded them into Karen's car) I shared my idea about the parsley diet. As I did I was reminded about a Beth Moore conference I had gone to a few years ago. She shared how she was making homemade soup with her daughter when she realized she didn't have any parsley. (I suppose she knew what kind she was supposed to have). She said she went into panic mode and was having a nervous breakdown about the parsley. She said finally her daughter looked at her and said, "It's just parsley". It was so funny that I remembered that story at that moment because I knew God was trying to tell me "This is just parsley". In the big recipe of life broken down cars are really not the end of the world.

Josh called yesterday to tell me the quote from the mechanic. He asked if I was sitting down. He told me the quote. I really should have been laying down in the fetal position. We are starting the parsley diet tonight!

Domestic Diva Dropout

Okay, I've been home for two months now and I just have to be honest. I totally stink at being a domestic diva. All dreams and hopes I had of 8 course fresh from scratch meals, spotless floors and volumes of scrapbooks have been dashed. Kate was just walking through the living room with an empty pizza hut box, a testament to the fact that I have not been cooking every meal. As I write there is a hugh shop vac we borrowed from the church that I've just decided to leave in the dining room as it is the most efficient way to clean up after meals where most of the food ends up on the floor. As for scrapbooking...doesn't that require sitting down? :)
So, needless to say I do not feel that I have accomplished my goals. I will definitely not be asked to write any articles for the Ladies Home Journal or appear on tv morning shows sharing my great housekeeping secrets. In fact, you may see me on an upcoming episode of SuperNanny. :) Oh well.
Here are some of the things I am experiencing:

Kate is into EVERYTHING!!!! She walks around with purses and babydolls and has created her own language. She also has curls! She is a cuddler, but I have also seen her grab Eli by the shirt and take him down. She loves music and can't help but dance to anything that comes on.

Sarah is doing really well in 1st grade. She already has 15 spelling words every week and more homework than I think I had in middle school! As always with Sarah, life is a big social event. She has started taking dance and loves it. She always asks me if she has to go to school or if she can just do dance. That's my girl!

Eli has become quite the little dude.He asked me the other day "Do I look cool or do I look awesome?" To have the self-esteem of a 3 year old! He loves cars, and balls and dressing himself. I'm still trying to figure out the statistical odds of putting your pants on backwards every single time, but I was never good at math. :) He has it rough right now surrounded by so many girls, but it will work out for him one day!

Despite the fact that I made chicken and chip casserole the other night and forgot the chicken (seriously), I have high hopes for the future. At least I have plenty of time to save for my children's therapy! :)