This is dedicated to the one I love...

In the spirit of Valentine's Day (which I'm not all that big on to be honest) I've decided to dedicate a blog to my husband, co-creator, and best friend Josh. He gets mentioned in my blogs many times, but mostly it is in reference to some crazy way that he has had to bail me out of some unbelievable situtation. So, I thought I would share how much I love this person who has apparently signed some kind of contract in which he will receive a million dollars for every year he puts up with me, or something like that. I cannot figure out another reason why he has put up with me this long.

In a time when so many people have lost all hope in true and lasting love, I am so thankful to God for my love story. I know that He has written it because it has been too well orchestrated for Josh or myself who both struggle a bit in the planning area. :) Apparently it started in fifth grade when I was much more interested in Barbie's than boys, but Josh swears he had a crush on me then. He even told me that he didn't ask me to sign his class T-shirt because he was too nervous to talk to me. For our one year anniversary I got one of those T-shirts from my 5th grade teacher and signed it Emily Fidler. :)

We didn't really have any contact again until 10th grade. We had chemistry together. The class I mean. Ha! Josh was so quiet and never talked. I was totally obsessed with some other boy. Josh still tells me that he knew since 5th grade we were supposed to be together and so I really wish he would have clued me in on that revelation and saved my needless obsessing and rejection by other people! The only thing I really remember was being in a group together and trying to draw a line and I couldn't even draw it straight with a ruler. Josh had to do it. He did it straight without the ruler.

You know how you always hear the stories of people running into each other's arms on the beach or something really romantic about how they first knew they liked each other? Well, let me tell you what I remember about our night. We were at McDonald's. It was after a football game and it was freezing. I had on about 10 layers of clothes and I really needed to go to the bathroom. Josh says we started talking about our history class and he just fell in love with me. Go figure. So much for all of the magazine articles about hair, makeup and flirting. I had just spent four hours at a football game, my hair was falling out of the mandatory french braid I had to wear as part of the dance team, and like I said I had on ten layers of sweats that didn't match. To top it off I chose the fascinating subject of history class to discuss! I was obviously not anticipating finding love at McDonald's that night. To this day the only thing I remember is how much I needed to go to the bathroom.

Well, it must be meant to be if it starts out that romantic right? Ha! At that time I had recently had my heartbroken and I was not in the mood to do it all over again. So, I did not make things easy for Josh. I'm very glad he was persistent! You can ask anybody who knew us then, we were JUST FRIENDS! It became my mantra. When I finally agreed to go to our junior prom with him I made it very clear that we were going as JUST FRIENDS!!!

I kept that up for a few more months, but the truth was that the first time we danced together I knew he was the one. I felt safe with him. I guess that doesn't sound very romantic, but my all time favorite verse is Proverbs 4:23. It says "Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." I've always taken guarding my heart very seriously and somehow I just knew with Josh that it would be safe.

I know I drove him crazy with all of the "friend" stuff and a whole list of rules I had. Yes, I had rules. But for some reason he decided I was worth all of it, and that was exactly what I needed. Someone who thought I was worth fighting for. And waiting for. I felt God leading me to a college 6 hours away from home and even though I knew I was supposed to marry Josh, I also knew that I was supposed to go to that school. It was hard and Josh and I could probably have bought a house with what we spent on phone cards, but he waited.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to write this. I guess just thinking about Valentine's Day. Things have a way of becoming so commercialized to the point that they start to lose their meaning. I feel sad for our kids growing up in a time when they are taught to be cynical about love and to just accept that relationships never last and everybody ends up miserable in the end. I don't believe it!

Our first Valentine's Day together, I really got into the whole experience. I cooked Josh's favorite food (okay, it wasn't really his favorite, but it was the only thing I knew how to make) and I set the table with the fancy dinnerware (that was before we had moved 50 times and had 3 kids to break it all) and I even lit a fire in the fireplace. Well...those were the days Josh was working LONG hours as a breadman and I had not yet learned to add 2 hours onto whatever time he said he would be home. Anyway, in the process of preserving the food and the candlelight I managed to nearly burn our apartment down. I had put a candlebra with 6 or 7 candles on the floor in front of the fireplace. Yea, not a good idea. It took me a while to figure out that all of the candles were completely melting all over the tile. I mean COMPLETELY melting. I picked wax off of that floor for weeks.

Not too long after that a country song came out called "I Melt". Josh and I couldn't help but crack up everytime we heard it and had to make up our own version "Everything melts!"
I've been thinking about that Valentine's Day and that song and I realize that Josh still makes me melt. It would take days and weeks and months and years to write about all of the things, good and bad, that we have experienced since that first Valentine's Day, but the truth is that we love each other more now than we did when we had fancy plates to eat on. :)

I hope that all of you had an awesome Valentine's Day and if you are still waiting for that special someone, don't lose heart! Just guard your heart and be willing to wait. The best things are always worth waiting for!!

The Love of My Life

Okay, Lori tagged me so here it is in case you were wondering!

1.What is his name? Joshua Stuart Fidler (Josh, Bro.Josh, Scooter)


2. Who eats more? He eats more at one time, but I probably eat more because I eat all the time!


3. Who said, "I love you" first? Josh says that he did b/c he wrote it in a letter one time, but I say that doesn't count. So, I did...He had asked me out several times and I kept saying no b/c I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. Then one night he just totally ignored me after church and even though I was the one just wanting to be "friends" I couldn't handle that. So I told him. It was a beautiful moment complete with me hitting my head trying to get out of the car. :)

4. Who is taller? Josh

5. Who is more sensitive? We are both a little on the sensitive side. He's more caring and sweet, I'm more hormonally challenged!!! :)


6. Who does the laundry? That would be me. He does the ironing though.

7. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Josh.


8. Who pays the bills? We're still trying to figure that out! Ha! J/K. Josh works hard for the money. I work hard to not spend it all. :)


9.Who cooks more? I do, but he's got some skills too.


10. Who is more stubborn? Definitely me!

11. Who is the first to admit they are wrong? 99% of the time I am the one who is wrong and Josh is usually still the first to apologize. He's too sweet!


12. Who has more siblings? Me. I have a brother and sister, he has a sister.

13. Who wears the pants in the relationship? I try to let him. I'm a big believer in the whole head of the household thing. Luckily, I have a good head of my household!


14. What do you like to do together? Anything! Watch movies, play tennis(okay, attempt to play tennis), go for walks, EAT!!!, take naps...we're kind of lazy! Ha!

15. Who eats more sweets? We both have a sweet tooth, but I definitely eat way more.

16. Guilty Pleasures? Peanut M&M's, yea we live on the wild side... :)


17. How did you meet? We were actually in 5th grade together, but Josh says he knew he liked me when we talked to each other after a football game at McDonald's. I should've known I would fall in love at McDonald's!


18. Who asked whom out first? Josh asked me out.

19. Who kissed who first? He kissed me.


20. Who proposed? He did -he actually left me in the parking lot at the mall while he went in to get my ring and I had no idea. Then we went to our favorite park across from the beach and he proposed at sunset.



21. His best features and qualities? Beyond his baby blues and awesome good looks, he is the most amazing person I've ever known. I know lots of people say that about the person they're married to, but really he is. You can ask people. :) Josh is completly sweet and sensitive and yet totally manly and strong. He is genuine, sincere, and thoughtful. He is incredibly intelligent in a book smart kind of way and extremely bright in a real life kind of way. He has been the best earthly example of Jesus I've ever known, and I can say that after living with him for 7 years. He is also a loving daddy and my best friend. Did I mention his good looks?? :)

22. Tag you’re it. Who do you tag? Kim Thomas, Melanie Grimes Hardage

Bring the Rain

Last night I had the privilege of hearing my husband sing. He has the sweetest voice. I tease him because I can alway tell who he's on the phone with by the tone of his voice. He talks real deep when it's his dad and real sweet and well mannered when it's his mom. I always know when it is a church member because of the businesslike concern in his voice. For 10 years it has amazed me the power that his voice holds. I've seen him transformed as he steps into the pulpit and the Holy Spirit speaks boldy through his softspoken voice. I've heard the daddy voice as he sternly disciplines our kids and tenderly encourages them.

But my favorite is when he calls me babydoll and speaks words of love and adoration to me. For 10 years his voice has had the power to calm me in a way that nothing else can. The world could be falling down around me (and believe me, there have been plenty of times I thought it was) but as soon as I hear him say, "Hey babydoll" it is all better. I can't explain it, but listening to him sing last night I felt such pride in him. Not in his singing ability, even though he can sing. But I felt pride in who he is. He sang a song called "Bring the Rain" by MercyMe. It talks about the things we experience and asks that no matter what happens it would all be used to glorify God. It says, "Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain." There are a lot of Christian songs that express that same idea, but watching Josh sing those words means so much to me becuase I know that those are not just words, but his life.

I am continually disgusted to hear about scandals and controversy surrounding popular preachers, and while I know that all people are only human and prone to weakness and failures, I long to see more. I have such a desire to see people who have higher standards and expectations. More than anything, I want to see the real deal. I feel so blessed that God has chosen to bless my life with someone who is the real deal. I continue to stand in awe at Josh's ability to trust God and give Him the praise in all situations.

Lately, it has felt like God is not just bringing the rain into our lives, but there may be tropical storms on the horizon. I'm thankful that Josh's faith is able to encourage mine. When I'm ready to evacuate, Josh is always strong enough to say "Bring on the rain!"
I just felt like I should write this that maybe your faith would be encouraged as well. It's so tempting to get on here and blog about all of the people who drive me crazy or make me mad. But I feel like too often we overlook the people who are there to make things good. So... here's to Josh and all of you who choose to find the good in all things, offer encouragement instead of criticism, and love instead of judgement. God bless you!