Eventually, I toughened up. And Lord knows, I needed to toughen up! I look back on that time and feel like I must have been part superwoman. I'm hoping I did enough physical exercise during those 4 years to cover the rest of my life. I think there was a part of me that stayed scared of Mr. D until my senior year. Until I experienced a loss in my family and saw a softer, kinder side of Mr. D. I learned a lot from him and my band days.
I learned that being on time means being at least 15 minutes early. I learned that I can hold it on an 8 hour bus trip. I learned to change clothes and put on full stage make-up in a bus. That's a skill that still amazes Josh. He enjoys slamming on the brakes while I put on lipstick to try and mess me up. (We are so mature.) But, it never works. And I always remind him of my extensive experience with make-up application in moving vehicles. I learned that okay is not good enough. I learned that I was part of a team and that I was accountable to the other people on that team. I learned that there were no excuses. I learned to push myself and keep going no matter how bad I felt. That was one of the most valuable lessons I've learned in life so far. I learned that some times you just have to do stuff you hate to do because it has to be done. And sometimes you have to do it a lot. I learned that practice makes perfect. To this day I don't believe that a person is ready to perform anything unless they can do it backwards in their sleep.
Mr. D believed in excellence. He pushed his students to be better than okay or good. He pushed them to be excellent. Our band was called "The Pride" and I can honestly say that was how it felt to be a part of it. Not the bad kind, the good kind. The kind of pride that comes from working really, really hard and knowing that it paid off. Mr. D instilled in me that if you are going to do something, you need to do it with excellence. You need to do your absolute best and then push yourself to do even better. He set the bar high and then he gave you the tools and motivation to get there. At times I have seen performances that have made me feel so embarrassed for those performing and I've thought, 'Thank you Mr. D! Thank you for expecting more from us! Thank you for demanding more from us!' I've learned that it is a gift to have someone who cares enough to push you.
I went to school with some really talented kids and many of them have gone on to excel in performing arts. But the truth is, I don't think our band being great had all that much to do with our talent or abilities. I think it had everything to do with Mr. D and his ability to take a bunch of hormonal, clumsy, awkward kids and give them a sense of purpose, confidence and pride. He gave us the skills to march an awesome half-time show, but greater than that, he gave us memories and character and qualities that made us better people for the rest of our life.
Mr. D passed away on New Year's Eve after a battle with cancer. There is no question that the legacy he left is impressive and far reaching. If any of my old band buddies read this, I would love to hear your favorite Mr. D memory or how he made a difference in your life!
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| The Pride Seniors Class of '99 |
14 comments:
I can still hear him yelling "KIM LEWIS" from the roof of the choir room!
I remember having to sit on the sidelines my sophmore year due to surgery and during practice he would yell at my "why are you still here, you aren't doing anything and are not being useful." I would cry when I got home every day. And then, I remember him pushing me to try out for Troy Honor Band saying that I had what itbtook to make it, knowing I had NO experience or professional training on the oboe. I had just started playing it that same year, he saw something in me that I didn't and he was right because I not only made the band, but I made first chair in the better band! Everything he did had a purpose and it was up to me to figure it out. I will always remember him for what he gave me and will miss him dearly.
I had a very long conversation with Mr. D the day I had to tell him I wasn't going to be in band anymore. I was scared to death to tell him but knew I had too let him know just to be respectful. He tried to talk me back into band but my grades were suffering and I knew I couldn't hold a full time job and do homework and band it was one or the other. He shook my hand and told me if I changed my mind to let him know. I got out of his office and lost it. I never cried so hard but if I would've stayed in band I wouldn't have met my husband funny how things work out.
Mr. D will be missed. He made us cry, laugh, work together, hate being together, and always, always made sure that no matter what we Wanted to be there with all of our heart and soul. He made us men and women, not just students. He molded us into disciplined individuals, not part of the crowd. He made us grow and shape our futures, only by telling us that we should never give up on our dreams. God bless the Dasinger family, tonight and always. You are in our prayers.
I loved your post Emily! Mr. D was one of the definitely most terrifying teachers I've ever encountered but he knew just what it took to show you how to achieve excellence and for that I am truly grateful. I remember having all of my solo and ensemble medals stolen from me because they happened to be in a purse that was stolen (to this day I have no idea why they were in there). He listened to me cry and said no problem...reached into his desk drawer in our OLD bandroom and said here, I've got extra. I also remember when my academic schedule didn't allow the two hours for the wind ensemble he let me play one day in concert band and the next day in wind ensemble. I ALSO remember his crazy questions that no one could ever seem to get right! Like 'How do you stop a note'? I remember answers like, throat, lungs, tongue...he would listen to all of our answers and respond with a frustrated "no!"....the answer was BRAIN! lol....who would have thought of that???
Most of all he taught me that every one else's "good enough" was mediocre for me and to always reach for excellence (or in our case superior!)...I've carried this with me in all aspects of my life and for this I will never forget him. He will truly be missed!!!
Man! There are SO many memories. The best part of my high school years were all associated with band. I've always had a passion for music but, Mr. D pushed us to always strive to be better, that there is always room for improvement. He knew our potential and believed in us. Coming from a divorced family, Mr. D was alot like another father to me. I'm not sure I ever told him that but, I know he played that role for alot of his "kids". He will truly be missed, but he will definately live on in the lives of so many people he impacted. Thank you Mr. D!
There are definitely many memories I have of Mr. D. One of my favorite memories was seeing the humor in Mr. D. I remember in Ramettes when we where having to get weighed and i stood on the scale and all of a sudden the scale was a lot higher than i weighed and i was saying this can't be right i don't weigh that much, and i look behind me and mr. d was standing and leaning on the scale to make it go higher.
Emily, thanks for sharing.
I transferred to Rutherford spring of my freshman year. I had only been there a few weeks when it was time for auditions. I'd never had auditions before - the band I came from didn't do them and didn't really challenge for chair position. When I showed up that day, I found out I'd memorized the wrong scales (he wanted non-transposed)! I frantically tried to shove as many scales into my memory as possible, but when it was my turn I thought the whole audition went horribly. Sight reading? Oh my gosh.
I was pretty worried that he would be angry with me. At the end of the audition he had a long talk with me about expecting the best of myself - that I could've done better on the prepared portion, but my sight reading was outstanding (who can really tell that stuff?). He wanted me to be section leader, and told me about the process for challenging.
When audition results were posted later that day, my heart sunk when I saw my name in last chair of the section. I knew I wouldn't get first, but I didn't expect to be last. I went home that day, and my mom asked me how things went. I lied and told her that I didn't know the results yet. Later that night, she was taken to the hospital and died of pulmonary complications.
When I got back to school, Mr. D had gotten me this giant condolence card that everyone in band signed. People kept congratulating me. I was so confused - it was the opposite of what I was expecting. Turns out I read the audition results wrong. I wasn't last chair on that chart, I was first.
After band that first day, Mr. D pulled me aside to offer me his personal condolences, and to tell me that he wanted to move me to advanced band, but there wasn't enough space in my section. When I told him a few days later that I had to move to live with a relative, he reminded me to always expect the best of myself. He saw me as a leader even before I saw myself that way. He had such a gift for recognizing talent in people before they saw it themselves. I will never forget his encouragement.
Emily,
This is Allison Mizell writing. My daughter is Kristina Mizell Williams. I was Ramette mom along with your mother after Miss Sasser moved on. I have been a teacher for 34 years and the most wonderful tribute to Mr. D is this post. I wish you would think about publishing it in the News Herald for all to see. The only reason I saw this is because Kristina sent the link to me. This is such a tribute to Mr. D. and others would enjoy it as much as I did.
My great-aunt was a retired school teacher. She retired from Panama Grammar when I was in elemenetary school. She taught school for 44 years and died in 1993 at the age of 93. My point to this is that your principal Earnest Spiva was once her student. After her death he wrote an article about her that was published in the New Herald. It was the most moving article I have ever read. The entire family was overjoyed and proud. This is why I encourage you to do the same. Think about it, ok? Your words need to be shared with other who feel the same way about your memories of a great educator, leader and person.
Out of all the advice and support he gave, two of Mr. D's comments stand out in my mind. The first speaks to his level of expectation. "Don't wear jewelry with your uniforms. That means no earbobs, nosebobs, eyebrowbobs, or any other kind of bobs." The other was just a great piece of advice. "A girl may go out with a loser once, but never twice." He will be missed. -- Rachel Pennington
Emily,
I have never been so touched by such kind words spoken of someone. I truly sat here and cried after reading your memories! I agree with Mrs. Mizell I truly think you should have this published in the News Herald for all to read! It would be a tribute to him and his legacy that he leaves behind. If publishing something like this is not something you feel comfortable doing I highly suggest you typing it and sending it to Mrs. D. I will gladly get you the address!
My most fondest memory of Mr.D includes two of my most cherished memories in my life: 1) coming from Alabama after parents recently divorcing, I tried out for Ramettes my freshman year not knowing the cost....coming from a single family home now I didn't know what to do when I found out I made the squad and the cost! Needless to say he worked miracles for me and I was able to be a RAMETTE! Needless to say I didn't know what I was in for! I have continued this journey with Rutherford and the PRIDE now since 1993 now being the Assistant Band Director which leads me to my 2) memory was the day Mrs. Sasser left and he came to me as a SENIOR and RAMETTE CAPTAIN and said "I don't know what in the heck to do with these girls, can you stay and help me next year?" Does anyone say NO to MR.D? Of course not, and I didn't either! Since 1997 I have been with Rutherford choreographing routines, spending hours at BAND CAMP and working with what is now GOLDENGIRLS. I will always cherish everyday I spent with Mr. D! He truly is a man that will be missed by many!
I remember my junior year when i came to rutherford high school and was getting ready for the school year and i was informed by the administrators that i couldn't attend RHS because of my past, and so i ran to the band room crying and asked Mr. D if he would help me in this matter, and so him and I marched to the office and he told them that I wanted to play in the band and graduate from RHS and that he would be my father and watch out for me while i was there, on may 13, 2003 I graduated from RHS and it was because Mr. D took me under his wing and guided me to success. Thanks Mr. D for always believing in me, I will miss you terribly.
Jonathan Lewis(Tuba) C/O 2003
An outstanding account Emily. Well done.
J white
Emily -- I didn't realize you were a former member of "The Pride!" I was in the "inaugural" class for Mr. D -- I was an incoming 10th grader the year he started at Rutherford! He was one of the most influential people in my life, as well, and inspired me to accept nothing less than the best from myself (and others). Despite me occassionally being the rebellious teen that debated quiting band from time to time, I stuck with it all the way through my college career at FSU. I even remember going to watch RHS perform at games in Tallahassee while in college, just to see Mr. D. He was such a wonderful man who taught so much, and will be missed by so many!
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