The Hiding Place

When I read a book I really like it takes weeks for me to recover. What I mean by that is that is that the chances of me quoting that book, sharing a story from that book, or suggesting you read the book at least once in every conversation are very high. Poor Josh. He probably misses his high school days of summer reading when AP English teachers did not request as much reading as I do. :)

The book that I am going to quote, tell stories from, and suggest you read is "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom. Mammy (that would be Josh's grandma) gave me this book for my birthday a couple of years ago and I have just now gotten around to reading it. I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I feel like God leads me to read certain books at certain times. When I first got the book I read the first chapter and that was it. I can't remember if I just didn't have time to read or if I started reading something else, but I didn't get past the first chapter. Then a couple of weekends ago I picked it up and I could not put it down. While my body sat in the recliner with laundry piled up and kids playing all around me, my mind wandered into 1937's Holland.

Corrie Ten Boom was an "old maid" who lived with her father and sister Betsie who also never married. They worked with their father in his watch shop and Miss Boom actually became the first licensed woman watchmaker in Holland. They lived a simple life that included daily Bible reading and showing hospitality to those in their community. Their lives became extraordinary when through numerous circumstances their house became a hiding place for many Jews during Germany's invasion of Holland. The risk they took in not only opening their home, but also working "underground" to assist other Jews in finding safe places eventually led to the arrest of Corrie, her sister, and her father.

While I have always been interested in Holocaust history, I have also found it very difficult to spend much time studying it. This story definitely brings to life the evil that this time in history displayed, but at the same time offers such encouragement and hope that you can't help but see God's hand along the way. The faith that the Ten Boom family demonstrated during the time of their imprisonment serves as a challenge and an example for all Christians. I feel that God led me to read this book at this time because I have found myself questioning what it means to be a Christian in this world today. What should I look like as a Christian? How should I act? Should I try to act a certain way to attract people to Christianity or should I be completely set apart and different to the point that people just think I am weird? What do I need to do to accomplish great things for God?

Reading "The Hiding Place" I felt overwhelmed by the message that loving God and serving others is still what we as Christians are called to do. Obeying God, even when that becomes risky or dangerous, is still what He requires. Bringing glory to Him no matter how bleak the circumstance is still our purpose. Giving thanks in all situations and forgiving ALL who have hurt is still our command. Seeing every person we encounter as a soul in need of the Good News of Jesus is still our commision.

This book offers us a glimpse at Christianity at work. It doesn't offer intelligent debates, snotty elitism, or spiritual ignorance. It shows in real life how this Christianity thing is supposed to work. This book also increased my appreciation for the comforts we take for granted. When Corrie was finally released from prison I could literally feel the warm water of her first bath and the crisp, clean sheets of her bed. In fact, it left me wondering if we are just a little too comfortable these days and not concerned enough for those who don't know the comforts, both spiritual and physical, that we do.

I can honestly say that after reading this I prayed that God would allow me to be used for His Kingdom the way He used the Ten Booms. I quickly had to follow that prayer with another prayer that He would give me the strength, faith, and courage it would take be to used in that way because I know I don't currently have it.

Mostly this story left me with great gratitude that the same God who worked and showed His Glory in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany is still working and showing His Glory today. That same God who was a "hiding place" for His Children then, is still a hiding place for me today.

A Special Day

Three years ago I had a chance to talk to my three year old about asking Jesus into her heart. I still remember it. Eli was a newborn and we were all in the car waiting for Josh to put up some bread in Sam's. (He was a breadman then, not a pastor.) I was attempting to sing to occupy the kids (I say attempting, because believe me I cannot carry a tune in a bucket). We were singing a song about Jesus knocking on your heart and asking to come in. Sarah asked, "Why does he have to knock if he already lives there?" Pretty deep for a three year old, huh? I explained to here that he doesn't automatically live in our hearts, but that we have to invite him in. She wanted to pray to ask Jesus in. We said a little prayer, but she was so young I didn't think much about it.

About a month later we were taking the Lord's Supper and she wanted to participate. I told her she couldn't that it was just for people who had asked Jesus into their hearts. She said, "But I did remember?" I was so in shock that she remembered that day.

I still felt that she was too young and we just continued to teach her and pray with her. It was always mine and Josh's prayer that she wouldn't go a day longer than she had to without asking Jesus into her heart.

Sarah Beth on the night she asked Jesus into her heart!

On December 11, 2008 we were eating supper and Josh and I were talking. The kids and I had been out of town for a week and we had a lot to catch up on. Out of nowhere Sarah asked about being baptized. She had been asking us about it for awhile, but we wanted to make sure she really understood it and understood why we should get baptized. We shared with her again that we get baptized to show that we have prayed and asked Jesus into our hearts. She said, "Well can I pray already?" Bless her heart, she was getting tired of waiting on us. We prayed with her that night.

I know that we often worry over kids making this decision and feel that they may not completely understand. I know a lot of people who made this decision as a child and later as adults questioned if it was sincere. I personally have come to the conclusion that I feel like too often it is not that children have not made the decision, but that we don't encourage and teach them as much as they need. I say this, because I know that it seems like they're too young to start Bible reading or praying. But, I've learned they're not. If anything they are much more eager and open to the Spirit. Jesus was clear about letting the children come to him.

Anyway, we decided to wait until after the holidays for Sarah's baptism. It seemed like there was always so much going on. She had literally been begging us to do it. I knew that was from God because she has talked about baptism for the last couple of years but kept telling us she was too scared and would wait until she was six. Guess she knew what she was talking about! These past few weeks have been a hard time for my family as my mamaw's house that she built with my papaw and lived in for over forty years burned to the ground. Fortunately no one was home but it was a total loss. A week after that she ended up in the hospital. They thought she had a heart attack, but they discovered that she had developed a lesion on one of the grafts from her last heart surgery that was blocking the blood flow and they were able to repair it.

We had already planned Sarah's baptism and we considered moving it after so much was going on and none of our family was going to be able to be there. But Sarah insisted! A few weeks before her best friend Jacey had come to talk to Josh about also being baptized. I took Sarah and Eli to Eli's room to read books while they talked. I asked if they wanted to pray for Jacey and Sarah did. She thanked Jesus for coming into her heart, and she thanked him for letting Jacey be her best friend. That was special to me, because Sarah had a little best friend in Panama City and when we moved I had prayed so much for the new friends she would make here. How exciting to hear her thank God for her best friend!

Josh didn't pray with Jacey that night. She let him know she had already prayed to ask Jesus into her heart! So Sarah and Jacey got to be baptized together! I sure do look forward to praying for and teaching these girls and seeing the plans God has for them!

Sarah Beth and Jacey February 1, 2009

Sarah being baptized by her daddy

at Montrose Baptist Church

That hurt my feelings!

Eli didn't want to go to church on Sunday. He had slept in and I figured he was just Christmas jet-lagged. He started crying and not wanting to get to dressed. I kind of knew how he felt, I was feeling a little jet-lagged myself. That was very unusual for him though because he usually loves to go to church. He didn't have a fever or any other signs of illness. I asked him "What hurts?" You'll never guess his answer. He answered in his tearful, pouty lip way, "My feelings!"


Ha! I had to laugh. I also had to admire his honesty. Let's face it, how many times do we want to avoid life because our feelings hurt? I'm still not sure exactly what hurt Eli's feelings except that I told him to get dressed and he was not in the mood. I'm afraid Eli has inherited part of my personality. You see when I was little I was what they called a "sensitive" child. It didn't take much to hurt my feelings or make me cry. I'm afraid I was also a "sensitive" teenager and a "sensitive" young adult. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that is totally a bad thing. I like to think that some of that sensitivity lends itself to compassion for others. As much as I hated to have my feelings hurt, I've always hated to hurt other people too. I see that in Eli. He is very caring and aware of other people's feelings. But that same sensitivity can lead to a lot of uneccessary pain and disappointment. Let me share what I've learned...

A few years back when I was going through my depression God began to show me how much I was in bondage to what other people thought of me. I felt like what other people said about me was always the truth and that I was whatever other people thought I was. It really never occurred to me that someone might say something to me when they were having a bad day that they didn't mean. I would automatically take it as the truth and let if affect me. On the flip side if someone complimented me that would feed my ego and give me a high. My emotions became like a seesaw that other people were controlling.

I came across a verse that spoke freedom to me. 1 John 3:20 says "For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things." Let me tell you what this means to me. Feelings are a great thing. I'm a feelings junkie! I love the feeling of being in love, the feeling of loving my little ones, the feeling of being refreshed after a great talk with friends, the feeling of anticipation waiting for Christmas Day! After so many years of depression that left me totally numb, I'm even thankful for the feelings that aren't so pleasant but are necessary. Grieving, disappointment, and anger. God uses them all. But, I've had to learn that sometimes, my feelings betray me. Sometimes I'm sad when I have no reason to be sad. Sometimes I have happiness that isn't real because it is temporary and based on something that isn't real. And sometimes I still let guilt rule my life even though I know that God's Word tells me, "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." Romans 8:1.

Feelings may lie to us sometimes, but the awesome truth is that God is greater than our hearts. God is not only bigger than our hearts, but He knows EVERYTHING. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But He doesn't tell! He doesn't air our dirty laundry for others to gossip about or judge and on the other side He doesn't broadcast our good works for us to be praised and worshipped. That's between us and Him. It has brought such freedom to me to know that I can serve God without an audience. People can say and think whatever they want to about me, but God always knows the truth. I don't have to bend over backwards to impress other people because at the end of the day God is the only one who matters. I don't think this gives us a free ride to ignore people or their thoughts and opinions. It just helped me to realize that I'm not a slave to my feelings or how other people affect them. I'm a child of a King and living for Him is what is important.

I know that Eli is not the only one who struggles with his feelings being hurt. Let's admit it, the older we get the more our feelings get hurt sometimes because we don't let things go the way 3 years old do. I've seen my kids fighting and ready to strangle each other shouting the most treacherous of phrases "Well, I'm not going to play with you ever again!!" only to turn right around and be playing together 10 minutes later. They're very forgiving. Sadly, adults do not forgive and forget so easily. We like to hang onto our hurt feelings and bring them up every chance we get, dont' we? Well, as easily as my feelings have been hurt in the past I've had to learn that I've hurt just as many people in return. That's part of being human. We do that. We are all disappointed when we put our trust in other people instead of God. Every human being is capable of hurting at some point. Only Jesus was perfect and only God "knows all things". Trust Him with your heart.

Still haven't found what I'm looking for...

A few months ago when I was still working I got paperwork to see a new patient. After two years in Mississippi with a job that took me through 3 counties and living in another county, I felt like I no longer had to worry about getting lost. Wrong! You have to understand that with our company when you get directions they usually include looking for the gray mailbox, the chicken houses, or the dirt road with no street sign.

My first mistake was that I started from my house because I thought it would be closer, but that meant that I had to reverse all of the directions! Needless to say, that was a bad idea. After driving around lost for an hour I decided to just head on to see some more patients. I had a full day that day and about 6 hours later I was headed back to find that patient. As I turned onto the road I had spent most of the morning on, a song came on the radio. It was a U2 song, y'know, the one that says, "but I still haven't found what I'm looking for". I had to laugh.

I eventually did find the house with the gray mailbox and the chicken houses on the dirt road with no street name. I was reminded of that day yesterday helping Sarah get ready for her costume contest at school. We've had activities all week long and my kids had already worn their costumes every night of the week and on the morning of the costume contest Sarah's genie hat was nowhere to be found. I knew that I had laid it on the couch the night before with the rest of her costume so it would be ready to go in the morning, but I couldn't find it anywhere! Finally Josh found it. Eli had fallen asleep on the couch the night before holding onto his spiderman costume and had apparently grabbed Sarah's hat as well.

Anway, thinking about that made me wonder how many times in life we all feel that way. That we still haven't found what we're looking for. I could tell a thousand stories of lost and found (I've threatened to pin the keys to Josh's shirt so he can keep up with them!), but I'm not just talking about physical items or places we are searching for. I am talking about the peace of mind, the purpose in life, the reason for living that everyone is searching for.

I teach a discipleship training class on Sunday nights. It was supposed to be a women's Bible study, but then some of the men needed a class and then some of the youth started coming. So, I've nicknamed it the "crockpot class". We have a little bit of everybody in it. I've shared with them that my greatest desire is to see real, sincere, genuine growth in their lives. It bothers me so much that so many people are in churches, and yet they seem so unfulfilled in their lives. But I have never believed that church is the answer. I believe that so many Christians are just as unhappy, discontent, and in a sense, lost, as anyone else because they still haven't found what they're looking for. And as a church, have we helped? Or have we created programs and activities to keep us all busy and able to say we are active in church, yet have no time to actually find what we're looking for, a relationship with Jesus?

In John 12:35 we're told, "Then Jesus said to them, 'A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of life.' "

It's my belief that so many people haven't found what they are looking for because they don't even know what they are looking for or where to look. Jesus wants to be the light that shines on our path and leads us to what we're looking for. I know there have been numerous times that I have questioned what I wanted out of life or just felt like something was missing. I know now that those were times when I allowed darkness to overtake me.

When I was younger I took an Experiencing God study that truly changed my life. I'm amazed when I look at my life and see how God has spoken and I realize that I first learned to listen God at the age of 15 completing this study with a few of my friends. We learned that some of the ways God speaks is through circumstances, His Word, the church, and prayer. Those are His directions to help us find what we are looking for. And they are so much better than mailboxes and chicken houses!!!

Speaking the Truth

Maybe it's just me, but the truth seems hard to come by these days. Beyond the normal deceit of politicians or the "little white lie" about our dress size, the truth appears to be as rare and elusive as a Saturday afternoon nap. I'm talking about real truth. The painful kind. The kind that makes you think. The kind of truth that makes your heart do that flip flop thing.

Too often we are all running from the truth. If we can get one more credit card we can pretend that we can actually afford a lifestyle we've created for ourselves. If we wear the right clothes and get the right hairstyle we can convince those around us that we are confident and self-assured. If we go back to our class reunion with a thriving career it's ok if we omit the miserable failings in our relationships. And if we can pat people who are going through a hard time on the back and say "It will all be alright" then surely it will, right?

Well, I'm a recovering people pleaser, preacher's wife, hospice social worker, and mother of three. Unfortunately, most of the times when the truth has hurt me it has been because it's been handed to me in basket of anger, bitterness, jealousy,or carelessness. Despite my unfortunate run ins with the truth, I've learned something else about it along the way. It's necessary. In the same way I need to know if I have lettuce in my teeth or my jeans are too tight, I also need to know when I have areas to grow in. We all do. We could all wander around with food in our teeth and we could all continue to roam around acting immature, thoughtless, selfish, or a million other shortcomings we possess. But... here's the good news.

"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ".

Ephesians 4:11-15

Isn't that wonderful? Speaking the truth in love is how we grow. It's how we become more like Christ. The same truth that bites and tears at us when spoken out of meaness, can encourage growth when spoken in love. That's what this page will be about. Everyday, the Truth changes my life and I hope to be an encourager to others who are seeking to "grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ."