LOST

Can I be honest with you? Sometimes I feel a little lost. Not in a spiritual, don't know God kind of way. Just in the general, what the heck is going on kind of way. I started thinking about this because since we moved to Mississippi we've only had one channel and LOST has become my favorite show. Despite the fact that I became obssessed with it and had to rent all of the seasons I had missed to catch me up, I'm having a hard time following it this season. Mostly because you have to have an attention span longer than three minutes to be able to follow it and I seem to be lacking greatly in that area.

Being lost has been a theme lately. Last Friday night Josh and I were supposed to go to an associational pastors and deacons banquet. After the week I had I was thrilled to be going any where out of my house without my children! Again, just being honest. We started the evening out late, which is par for the course for us. The sad thing is I thought we were going somewhere else and I didn't know we were running late. I thought I had timed it perfect. I really couldn't figure out why Josh kept asking if he could do something to help me get ready. I didn't trust him with the hair straightener or the eye shadow, so we just left late. We got the kids dropped off and headed out. There really is nothing like looking for county roads in Jasper County in the dark on highways that have no street lights. I can't see worth a flip anyway so I just offered encouragement like, "Maybe we should turn around" and "I don't think it would be in this county." :) Well, long story longer, we passed our turn and Josh just decided we would drive on to Laurel and get supper. I hate to admit it, but I was kind of excited. I can't remember the last time Josh and I went on a date and these days I have to take it however I can get it! That night getting lost had its perks.

Then on Monday the kids and I headed out to Wal-Mart. I really could write a book just about my experiences at Wal-Mart in the last year. We went to a different one than the one we usually go to and the whole time Eli was saying, "Are we lost? I think we're lost. Are we crashing? Are we racing?" :) He has this thing about crashing and being lost and I'm not sure why because Sarah is the only one who ever gets in wrecks with me. I haven't crashed with Eli once! (For anyone who doesn't know, I put my jeep in reverse and got out and watched it roll through a parking lot with Sarah in it. Yes, that was another blog.)

Well, I guess we all just have those times. I often feel lost in my own little world. Lost in piles of laundry and dishes. Lost in the woods. I even felt at a loss for words for a few days, though I doubt you will believe that! Then I heard a song I haven't heard in forever. Lost in Emotion! Very old school, very stuck in my head this week.

To top off my lost theme Josh came home from school Monday night and told me something that I had never heard in all my years in church. Somehow we started talking about the Israelites and their wanderings in the wilderness. You know, they spent 40 years trying to get to the Promised Land. I kind of understand because we live an hour and a half from Target. Ha! Just kidding. Anyway, he told me something that just blew my mind. Did you know that the actual trip to the Promised Land should have only taken 11 days?!?! Holy cow! Can't you just hear the Israelite women? "I told you we should stop and ask for directions!!" I tried to imagine 40 years listening to Eli say "Are we lost? I think we're lost?" Then I could imagine Sarah leading the way because she always knows exactly what is going on. :) Then I started thinking about Kate and wondering, "Did they have strollers?" Okay, I started getting a little side tracked.

As I thought about the 40 year trip that should have only taken 11 days it made me think about life now. As much as we look back at the Israelites wandering in the wilderness and wonder what in the world they were thinking, I know that we all have lost times. Times when we lose sight of God's direction or try to jump ahead of Him a little bit. When we were getting ready to move to Mississippi I accepted a job that I really didn't feel I was supposed to just because I was desperate to have a job. Fortunately God stepped in and put me back on track with the job I was supposed to have. I later found out the other company was being investigated for fraud! I wouldn't have just lost a job but I could have lost my social workers license as well! I'm still praising God I didn't have to suffer the wandering that decision could have cost me.

It is still a struggle sometimes knowing God's plans and more than that WAITING for God's plan. I've had many conversations with people about that this week as well. I'm a big believer that the plans God has for us are good, not just in spending eternity with Him, but here on earth as well. Often it is just the waiting to get to the good part that is so hard. Josh said that if you could look down at the path the Israelites took it would literally be a zigzag of circling through the wilderness. That's where our own plans and decisions get us. Lost, dizzy and in a big mess.

I love these verses: "Teach me your way, O LORD, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence. I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:11-14.