Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Don't Feel Like Saving the World Today

Do you ever have times when you just feel totally overwhelmed by the pain and suffering in this world? I personally have always struggled with being very sensitive to those around me who are suffering. I hope that doesn't sound arrogant. I know God has given the gift of compassion to many. Sometimes it hits me with such force that it affects me physically. Makes me sick to my stomach. In the last week I learned that a dear family we love had a family member hospitalized for what could have turned into a very serious medical problem. I then found out that a friend I've known since the days we played dolls together lost her 4 year old son. She had already lost his twin at birth. Then just yesterday I got the news that a sweet co-worker of mine from Mississippi lost her husband after a hard fought battle with cancer. I can't even begin to know the pain they are experiencing. I know how bad it hurt just to hear the news for them. I remembered this blog that I wrote several years ago when I was still working with Hospice. When I was facing a significant amount of heartache on a daily basis and feeling overwhelmed that so much pain could exist at one time. I thought I would share it again and ask for your prayers for these precious families who are hurting so bad...

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I don’t feel like saving the world today...

I don't feel like saving the world today. Sometimes I just want to play at the park or go for walks. I want to swim at the beach or watch movies. I want to lay on the couch and read mystery novels or bake cheesecake brownies. Sometimes I just don't feel like saving the world.

Sometimes I want to believe that people aren't hurting. I want to forget that there are sick, elderly people who live alone and have no company. I don't want to know that there are people my age with little girls who are dying of AIDS and worrying that they are a burden to their family.

I wish I could forget that there is never enough money for all of the needs, that people live in houses that aren't fit for the bugs that overtake them. I don't want to speak empty words of "We'll see" when the frailest of all want to come home from the nursing home.

I wish I had a prescription pad like the doctor. You have arthritis-here's a pill. You have an infection-here's an antibiotic. You need a wheelchair-here it comes. I don't have a prescription pad for loneliness, guilt, depression, or lack of resources. I wish I could write a prescription and say, "Here, now your children will come visit you. Oh, you're scared of dying, here's a pill for that."

I just don't feel like saving the world today.

"And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. Then His fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all sick people who were afflicted with various diseases and torments, and those who were demon-possessed, epileptics, and paralytics; and He healed them."
-Matthew 4:23-34


That's what I'll do, I'll bring them to You. I know that you didn't ask me to save the world, just to care for those who are here. So I'll care for them the best I can, and I'll bring them to you and lay them at your feet, the only place where healing takes place and all needs are met.

1 comment:

III said...

Good that you're in touch with hurting people. I usually take that to mean that I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

But it is overwhelming.