Today She Turns 4

It seems like just yesterday I picked her up from the hospital. And today she turns 4.

She had to spend 7 days in the NICU, which was 2 days longer than I had to stay in the hospital. They were the longest 2 days  of my life. Leaving the hospital without her was only made better by the assurance that we would get to go pick her up, an assurance some other parents we met in the NICU didn't have. I still remember sitting in the church parking lot on a Sunday morning. That was the day we went to get her. Josh ran in to let our church members know the exciting news. Forty-five minutes later we arrived at the hospital and the nurses had her already dressed in the outfit I left for her, with even her headband and shoes. They treated her like she was the most important baby in there (as they did all the babies) and they will never know what that meant to me. I couldn't help but cry when I looked at her and knew that finally, I would hold her with no tubes or wires or other people to supervise. She was mine and she got to go home with me.

Four years have flown and they've been full of fun, laughter and peanut butter. With Kate, the world is a sweeter, happier place. My day is made when she says, "Wanna hug" or she tells me "Shrack (scratch) my back". She looks at her Daddy and asks, "Why's yous gots hair on shures faces?" She tells me she's not a baby, she's a big girl. She LOVES school, church, dance and Barbie dolls. She always wants a "shamwich" and "somfin" to drink. Her curls make complete strangers stop and comment and she has finally decided it is bearable to wash and brush them. :)  She changes clothes hourly, and they never match. And it's usually something  I JUST washed for her to wear the next day. I am slightly more patient with this phase after raising her sister who has the same habit. :) She tells me about the "stories in her eyes" (dreams) and thankfully, they aren't bad ones anymore, just good ones. I adore her chubby cheeks and fat little hands all dimpled and soft. I will miss them immensely   next year when I  know she will completely look like a big girl and not a baby. I won't lie, this birthday is tough for me. Reality is setting in that I truly don't have "babies" anymore. I found a book at Target last night that almost caused me to be carried out in a sobbing fit of hysterics. So I bought it. It's called, "If I Could Keep You Little..." by Marianne Richmond. My favorite parts say, 

"If I could keep you little, I'd decide on matching clothes. But then I'd miss you choosing dots on top and stripes below."

"If I could keep you little, I'd pick for you a friend or two. But then I'd miss you finding friends you like who like you, too!"

 "If I could keep you little, I'd keep you close to me. But then I'd miss you growing into who you're meant to be!"

                  Somedays, I just really want to keep her little. But I can't. Today she turns 4.