Pardon My Progress...

I earnestly seek God and seek to know Him and know all that I can about the relationship I have with Him that has defined my life. I want desperately to speak intelligently and persuasively about my views and to have a firm hold on the theological concepts that shape my faith. I strive to live a life that exemplifies those beliefs. But...despite the fact that I have been growing in my faith for 15 years, sometimes I realize that there is still so much to learn and so many ways to grow. In fact, the more I grow the more I see just how much I don't know. I stand in awe of those people who have it "all together" and seem to never waiver in their life.

The other night I had just put the kids to bed and was doing some picking up and I started hearing a tapping sound on the window. There was a time that would scare me, but now when I finally get the kids to bed and have a moment of peace it really just started annoying me! I pulled back the curtain and there were two insects banging themselves into the window. Josh and I couldn't figure out at first what they were. I had never seen anything like it. It had wings, but it's body was so funny looking. I thought that when we got right up to the window they would go flying off. But they didn't. They just kept hitting the glass. Finally after a few minutes of observation I realized that they were butterflies that were trying to get out of their cocoons! They literally were still in the cocoon except for their wings! I had never seen such a thing. We got a front row seat to these butterflies entrance into the world as their new creation and it wasn't pretty!

I have to admit it was kind of funny and kind of sad. I wanted desperately to make them understand that our window was not going to move no matter how many times they threw themselves into it. I wondered how long it was going to take them to figure it out on their own.

Well, I have to admit that watching them clumsily make their way into the world as butterflies made me think about myself. I ,too, often feel rather clumsy and awkward as I continue to change into the new creation God wants me to be. When I first started living my life according to God's Word I had someone share this verse with me. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17. I remind myself of this verse often when I have days that I feel like I'm stuck in my cocoon. Those butterflies made me realize that turning into a new creation is not an easy, seamless process. It takes work. And sometimes it feels like you're banging yourself into a wall! But...I am willing to bet that those butterflies who were once prisoners to the ground are now very glad for the wings that give them so much freedom.

That is what I have found in Christ. Freedom. I haven't figured out all of the answers and I know that I will continue to learn new things and be changed everyday. So, please pardon my progress as I work my way out of this cocoon!!!