Counting Down the Days

I've had lots of fun and silliness in my life lately. But, I've also been wrestling with some serious things that I just felt I needed to share.

We're getting ready for our honeymoon! Yay! Josh had just started a new job when we got married and so he couldn't take any time off for a honeymoon. Of course, we didn't care, we were content to finally just get to be together all the time. (Well, except for those pesky work hours. :) ) Anyway, we will be married 8 years in June and we just haven't stopped having babies or moving long enough to get one! We've decided it is time! The excitement in our house is uncontainable. The kids are equally excited because they get to go to Panama City and see the grandparents which equals a week of fun and getting whatever they want!

All of this excitement takes place in 15 days!!!! I know this because the other day I bought little calendars for Sarah and Eli to mark the days instead of asking me 85 times a day when they're going to Panama City! Sarah is such a planner. I promise she is going to be some kind of event coordinator when she grows up. She LIVES for parties and social occassions and she wants to have a plan and discuss it frequently. She did not get this quality from me as I am the worst planner known to mankind, but I have learned to appreciate and am looking forward to her planning our social events when she is old enough! So, the calendar has been right up her alley. She's gone through all of the months and recorded birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. We've marked off all of the days from this month that have passed.

Now I get to the serious part that has been on my heart. While I love being excited and looking forward to things to come, I realized how much God has changed me in the last year and a half. You see, my life changed forever on August 28, 2007. At least the way I view the days of my life. That was the day that Baby Kate decided to make her entrance into the world and she was determined to give me all of the drama that my other two birth stories were lacking. She came 4 weeks early, on a day Josh was at school in Jackson (broke down on the side of the road by the way), and unlike my first two babies the epidural did not work. It was also my longest labor which I totally did not expect because these things are supposesd to get faster!

Well, nothing went as planned that day. I suffered from postpartum hemmorage, a very rare complication, and my uterus did not contract back the way it should. I began losing a lot of blood. I thought I was just really tired from labor, but I was also really out of it. Right before the nurse figured out what was going on a nursery nurse came in to tell me that they had taken Kate to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) because her breathing was too rapid. I was already so out of it that I didn't really comprehend what they were telling me. Josh had left to go get the kids and bring them back to the hospital, but my friend Karen had just showed up. She got there just in time for all of the action! Bless her heart, you just don't know what I have put that girl through in our friendship!

I'll save the details, mostly because I was too out of it to remember them! But here is why I share this story. Life could have taken a vary drastic turn for me that day. I really didn't realize how bad the situation was until a couple of months later talking to Karen. Thankfully she understands my need to discuss and analyze and relive things until I can make peace with them. She was in the room when the nurse (who happened to be her aunt!) called the dr. My dr. said that he would be there in 10 minutes and she told him he did not have 10 minutes!! I still praise God for the amazing, experienced nurses I had that day. Karen also said that her aunt who was my nurse told her later that she didn't know how close she came to losing her friend. If I didn't appreciate how much God is in control it would still scare me to think about that day.

That night I wasn't able to see Kate because I wasn't allowed out of bed and Kate had to stay in the NICU. Fortunately, everything turned out just fine with Kate and she is one happy, healthy baby now! I was afraid she would be spoiled rotten from having so much attention from the awesome NICU nurses, but she wasn't!

I'm really not trying to be overdramatic, I just felt so compelled to share with you what God taught me through that experience. I feel that at the age 0f 27 God allowed me to know something that most people don't begin to realize until much later in life. That is the fact that life is precious and we are not promised any more days. They are a gift. We were so blessed that everything was fine with Kate. But Josh and I said many prayers for a family whose baby was in the bed next to Kate. She was very premature and we overheard the dr. discussing the options with the family and none of them sounded like an option I would ever want to have to consider.

Life has a new urgency for me now. I don't take for granted that myself or anyone I love is promised another day. There just is not time to waste. There is no time to accept the status quo from life, no time to be content living in a way that allows me to just get by. I see everyday as an opportunity to live praising and worshipping my heavenly Father and not just that but telling others about Him. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." I want you to know about that mercy. That everyday you can begin with new mercies, a new start.

God has blessed me with a wonderful family, some of the best friends in the world, and too many other things to list. But NOTHING has brought more joy and peace in my life than my relationship with Jesus. NOTHING has had the power to truly change me, to give me the meaning and purpose that we all seek. I love sharing my life with those of you who for some reason find it entertaining to read about. But I cannot go another day with making sure that I have told you the most important news you will ever hear.

Romans 10:9-10 says, "that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead , you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

You may wonder what you need to be saved from. In our culture and society we have been brainwashed into believing that sin doesn't exist, that we are all basically good. It's just not true! I'm not judging anybody, I'm just stating the facts. Romans 3:23 says, "For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The truth is that no human is capable of being good enough compared to God's standards. NOBODY! Not Billy Graham, not Oprah. It does not matter how many good works you do. None of us deserves the new mercies God offers everyday.

The Good News is that God knew that and He sent a sacrifice to pay for our sins. My absolute favorite verse is Romans 5:8. "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, that while we were still sinners Christ died for us." Do you see that? While we were still sinners Christ died for us. He didn't wait for us to be good enough because it would never happen. But He saw who we would be if we would accept Him and allow Him to change us for His glory.

Romans 8:16-17 tells us, "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs-heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together." We become children of God and His heirs! How amazing is that? I won't try to sell you that lie that many TV preachers do and tell you that asking Jesus into your heart means all of your problems will disappear and everything will be perfect. If you've observed my life long enough you know that is not true. But I will say that I have enjoyed suffering with Jesus more than I ever enjoyed just floating through life with no meaning and purpose.

There would have been a time that I would have apologized for being so bold. But I'm not going to apologize. God literally saved my life and while I appreciate the opportunity to be around and raise my children and support my husband, I wholeheartedly believe that I am still here to testify to the Power of God. I can't make anyone believe or accept anything. But I do have to make sure you know!

I'm still looking forward to my honeymoon. But I'm not marking off days. There is too much life to be lived in those 15 days. Please don't accept that life is an event to be survived until we die and hope that something good happens every few months or so. In John 10:10 Jesus tells us, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Let Jesus give you that abundant life. Start seeking to make the most of those days, not just mark them off.