The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

I would like to begin this by sharing my dream Sunday morning~ I would wake up about 5:00am and spend a few moments alone with God. Then, Josh and I sit at our patio table on the back porch overlooking the water sharing a cup of coffee. I would then pray over my husband as he prepares to preach God's Word. Next, I would head to the kitchen to cook a gourmet breakfast and we would sit as a family and enjoy each other's company. After that we would all get dressed in matching, perfectly pressed clothes and all shoes would be polished and waiting with their mate in our extremely organized closets. Everyone's hair would cooperate and my children would wait obediently while I grabbed the diaper bag which would have been packed completely the night before. We would sing songs as we walked from our house to the church.....



Okay. Snap out of it! Here's the reality. I NEVER wake up before sunrise, we don't own a patio table or live on the water and Josh and I don't drink coffee. The only thing remotely close to water in our backyard is a sea of garbage that the neighborhood dogs strew across the yard. The truth is that my kids are usually climbing on the kitchen counters scavenging for pop tarts or the highly favored powdered donuts when I come groggily wandering into the living room. Josh is ironing his clothes because I burnt one of his new shirts early in our marriage and he has not asked me to iron for him since. (I promise I didn't do it on purpose, but hey ladies...it worked!)

This past Sunday was no different. Josh leaves early to have prayer with some of the men before church and I turn into the wicked witch of East Mississippi. This Sunday I was looking forward to wearing a new dress and sandals I had bought for our upcoming trip. The problem was the sandals. They buckle. Fortunately I am no longer at the stage in life in which my belly is too big to reach the buckle, but I just could not get the shoe to buckle! I think I may have invented some yoga poses trying to get them on and those poses were most unladylike I might add. In the meantime I was also grabbing Kate who thinks it is fun to climb on things like my bed and then throw herself off. Eli was in his room entering what I call the "wailing and gnashing of teeth" phase. He was also having wardrobe issues and he is now in that wonderful phase where every frustration is worthy of a 30 minute screaming fit. He becomes inconsolable and I become impatient.

The thing is, getting dressed is only half of the battle in my house. Keeping everybody dressed is a whole other issue. Sarah had gotten dressed in a cute aqua and black dress. But then she insisted on wearing a powder blue sweater and it just did not match! So, she had to change into a dress to match the sweater. At the exact second I finished putting Kate's hair into cute little pigtails Eli came around the corner. He was wearing olive khaki pants, an orange polo shirt, cowboy boots, a tan baseball cap with an iguana on it and....a red and black glove on one hand. He argued with me about wearing the glove and I could not for the life of me figure out why my 3 year old felt the need to channel Michael Jackson on a Sunday morning. I was just ready to tell everybody to beat it!!! And yes, Kate had taken her hair down.

After surviving our Sunday morning episode of Project Runway it was almost time to head out. Eli wanted to take his lion to church. In case you are not familiar with the lion I will introduce him to you. Mammy and Pop (Josh's grandma and grandpa) gave Eli the lion for his first Easter. He was soft and cuddly and Eli developed an attachment that I had not expected. Sarah has never become attached to any stuffed animal or blaklet (as she would say) so I had not experienced the life or death situation of keeping up with a stuffed animal. The lion used to be soft and a pretty golden color and had a decorative bow around its neck. Now...it's just nasty. But Eli loves him dearly and I know that I will be sleeping with the lion for years after Eli moves out. Anyway, Eli told me that the lion told him he wanted to go to church. I had stripped him of the glove and the hat so I thought the least I could do was let him bring the lion to church if the lion had really expressed such a desire. (And no, after three years with our family the lion still does not have a name.)

Since we live in the parking lot of the church we obviously walk to church. Remember my dream of holding hands and singing songs? Yeah right! I was kicking rocks out of my new sandals and dragging Kate along. I usually can't keep up with her, but on Sunday mornings when we are running late she likes to stroll and take in the sights. Our church still rings a bell when it is time to start and I promise whoever rang the bell this Sunday did it 5o extra times. We were walking in the door as the bell rang and I just was not in the mood for it. I really wanted to scream "IS THAT NECCESSARY?!?!?" Yes, I am a terrible preacher's wife and this little Sunday morning routine is why I spend at least the first 30 minutes of church praying for forgiveness.

I ended up in the nursery and I have to say I really enjoy watching my babies play with other kids. I'm just fascinated with how kids interact with each other. My Sunday School teacher's granddaughter was visiting and she did not want to stay in the nursery with us. I have quite a few years of nursery experience and have learned to send the parents away as quickly as possible. The babies are always fine after they leave. Eli saw that the little girl was upset and do you know what he did? He offered her his lion. She wasn't having it, but I have to tell you that it did my heart good to see my little man offer his most treasured possession to someone who needed comforting because the lion is what gives him comfort. That living example of "Do unto others as you would have done unto you" made my Sunday morning worth all of the buckling, dressing, ponytail making, and shoe finding!