It's so funny how life changes you. Last night the music awards were on and that used to be one of my favorite things. Seeing the performances, what people are wearing, the whole thing. But last night I really could've cared less. One, I am getting old and I don't even know who a lot of the people are anymore. And two, I was so distracted by my excitement that I'm getting a new stove today!! Please, someone tell me, when did stoves become exciting?
Anyway, on the same note, I just realized that Kate and Eli are both napping, Sarah is at a friend's house, my kitchen is clean (like the counters have been bleached down clean), and I've already done a load of laundry. And I...am thrilled by all of this. Again, I'm not sure when a clean kitchen and sleeping children became the goal of my life but I'm enjoying it!
I am so excited right now because I feel like I am coming out of a funk. Do you ever get in those? I don't think I realized how long it would take me to transition from working full time to being at home full time. It is really a big change, but I now feel ready to embrace it full on! I decided that a lot of my funk was trying desperately to live up to standards set too high. Believe me, that is my specialty, setting standards too high. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in high standards, I've just learned that when you have 3 kids under the age of 6 sometimes you gotta let some things go!
Here are some things I've decided for me:
It is more important to me that my kids are compassionate, caring, thoughtful people than that they are overacheiving, robots. So that means that it's okay to make mistakes as long as we grow from them and people are more important than activities or chores. It's important to keep things clean and to be involved in certain activities, but sometimes these things need to take a backseat to rocking the baby time or reading with the big kids time.
I'm the boss. I'm the one in charge of running my house and that means that I have to have a plan and goals just like I did with my job. This isn't a time to be lazy or lose my brain, but rather a time when I need the organizational skills of a CEO and the creativity of Picasso!
I'm the teacher. That is scary! But God has given me the job of teaching my kids everything from how to tie their shoes to why the grass is green to the Ten Commandments. But I know that my biggest lessons are the ones that are observed like bacteria under a microscope. Those are the lessons I teach in how I react under pressure, how I show love to strangers (and the people I know who are sometimes the hardest to love!), how I treat their daddy, and how I spend my time. That's the scary part to me because I know I've set some bad examples. Those are the times I pray a lot for opportunities to teach little ones about grace and forgiveness!
The most important thing I have decided is that I have to be the wife and mom that God made Emily to be, and that is not always the one I want to be!! But while I may admire and learn from other moms, I have to use my strengths and skills instead of living in a pity party about all of my weaknesses and lack of skills. I've also learned that being a home is probably more for me than my kids. There are other people who could teach my kids many of life's lessons. But I don't think any other experience could teach me the lessons of patience, humility, and prayer that I'm still learning.
Finally, I am learning the tools needed for this job. As a social worker I was equipped with pens, paperwork, referrals, phone numbers, and bug spray. (Don't ask). Now, as a mom I pack an arsenal of baby wipes, sippy cups, cheerios, and crayons. In addition to those tangible tools I am working on adding patience, grace, a sense of humor, and prayer, prayer, and more prayer!!! Most importantly I am learning the priceless value of a little peace and quiet!
Currently reading : Becoming a Chief Home Officer By Allie Pleiter
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Parenting is Not for Wimps
I feel that I can confidently say, "Parenting is not for wimps" from great personal experience. I am the parent of a "strong-willed" child. The fact that Josh and I could give life to a strong-willed child came as a shock to all who knew us, including us! You see, Josh and I are about the most passive, go with the flow people you will ever meet. We both have the kind of personality that you can look at us mean or tell us you are disappointed and we will burst into tears and feel like we have received the greatest punishment ever. I always assumed our children would be the same. Boy was I wrong!
On July 15, 2002 God brought Sarah Elizabeth Fidler into our lives. I was 21 years old and totally clueless. Yes, I had read books and watched all of the labor and delivery shows. I was totally prepared to give birth and it was a fairly easy labor. It was the part after labor that I had really never considered. How the heck do you raise a kid? And not just any kid, a strong-willed kid? You see, it started in the hospital. The nurse taught me how to swaddle Sarah and I had it perfected. I would wrap her up in that blanket so tight I thought Houdini couldn't haven't gotten out. Two seconds later she would have it kicked off. I didn't understand it at the time, but she was already showing us her personality, the part that says I'm probably going to do things just because it's exactly what you don't want me to do.
I can honestly say that the first year after Sarah was born was the most miserable of my life. I feel so terrible saying that. I wanted desperately to be one of the mom's who was always glowing, dressed to the nines, holding a homemade pie in one hand and a happy, content baby in the other and telling everyone how being a mom was the best thing that ever happend to me. It just wasn't meant to be for me. I had postpartum bleeding that they finally caught two months after the delivery. It left me completely exhausted and prone to every kind of cold and infection there was. I was also clinically depressed and had gallbladder disease that took 8 months after Sarah was born to be diagnosed. I also lost my papaw that year. Sarah had a blocked tear duct, colic, and kidney reflux that made her prone to kidney infections. And Josh...he had to live with us. The fact that we survived that first year is a testament to the amazing goodness and grace of God.
I was very blessed to have a couple of older mom's who I consider mom mentors. They were old enough to have gained some experience and wisdom, but not so old that they had totally forgotten what it was like to have little ones. Nothing drives me crazier than old women who say things like, "My child never cried, threw a fit, whined, pouted, or even had a dirty diaper." The only hope they give me is that as you get older God completely erases all bad memories of motherhood and fills your head with complete visions of grandeur. :) But back to my mom mentors, one was a lady I worked in the nursery with at our church. She too had a strong-willed child. She felt my pain. She knew what it was like to not be able to go out to eat because even a 6 month old would refuse to sit in the high chair. She understood that getting ready to go somewhere required an extra hour of preparation because a strong-willed child's wardrobe is a great area of emotional breakdown. I'll never forget a day that I decided to put Sarah in the stroller and walk to church. (We lived that close to the church even before we were the preacher's family!) All was well until it was time to go home. Sarah would not go back into the stroller. We had a knock-down dragout and my mentor mom stood patiently holding the diaper bag for me while my child kicked and screamed and probably had everybody else convinced that I was killing her. But my mentor mom understood.
I had never been kicked out of a place until Sarah was born. I had lived a pretty calm, clean life. :) But sure enough we had gone to check on my friend Kim at the hospital and Sarah started crying and we got kicked out. Just a few weeks later (Sarah was about 11 months) we attended the wedding of one of Josh's good friends. Now, let me stop here and say that I do not recommend taking an 11 month old to a wedding at all! But Josh was in the wedding and it was in South Carolina and there was no one we knew to baby-sit. If I could do it all over, I would have stayed at the house with Sarah and heard about it later. But, I was still clueless. Anyway, we sat up in the balcony which I thought would be safe. However, the beautiful sanctuary had old wooden pews and floors which Sarah instantly decided would be great fun to beat her legs on and make as much noise as possible. I decided we would make our escape during the prayer so no one would see us getting up to leave. Of course with my luck, they had a section for deaf people in the balcony and they didn't bow their heads during the prayer because they were watching someone sign the prayer. I had to walk right in front of the translator with my kicking, screaming baby. Oh, the joys of motherhood!
I wish I could say that it gets easier once you are past the toddler years. In some ways, it has. The battles are less frequent, but when they occur they are so much more intense. I used to think 'There is no such thing as a strong-willed child, their parent's just don't know how to discipline them!' Can I just testify to the fact that there is such a thing as a strong-willed child!!! I've since had two more children. They both have their moments of meltdowns and disobedience, but it just doesn't even register on the same scale. They would sit for hours in the car seat or stroller. They would sleep. I feel that I have an appreciation for them that a lot of moms with "good" babies just don't understand.
I don't write this to talk bad about my firstborn. She is truly a special, caring, giving, thoughtful, and bright little girl. While she has provided some of the most challenging, embarrassing, and down-right painful times of my life, she has also provided life-changing, tender, special, and amazing moments of my life. You see, that strong-willed tempermant that makes me feel like I am going to lose my mind sometimes, also causes me to stand in awe. I am absolutely astounded by her ability to stand up to people in a way that I have never had the courage. I am overwhelmed at her persistence and know that she has what it takes to accomplish whatever it is that she is passionate about. I love that little strong-willed girl and I know that God has amazing plans for her. It takes strong-willed people to stay faithful when the going gets tough. It takes strong-willed people to stand up for what they know is right when all of us passive people take a backseat. And I have to say this, having a strong-willed child has taught me that I'm a little more strong-willed than I knew!
So many families have a wild child, black sheep, troublemaker, or whatever they choose to call them. I believe that each of my 3 kids are specially created by God with a unique personality and purpose. It is exhausting raising a strong-willed child. Sometimes it would be so easy to give into all the fits and tantrums. But I know that God has entrusted each of my children to me and that I have the equal responsibilty to discipline, teach, and love my children until they become people He can use in His kingdom. Parenting is definitely not for wimps!!!
On July 15, 2002 God brought Sarah Elizabeth Fidler into our lives. I was 21 years old and totally clueless. Yes, I had read books and watched all of the labor and delivery shows. I was totally prepared to give birth and it was a fairly easy labor. It was the part after labor that I had really never considered. How the heck do you raise a kid? And not just any kid, a strong-willed kid? You see, it started in the hospital. The nurse taught me how to swaddle Sarah and I had it perfected. I would wrap her up in that blanket so tight I thought Houdini couldn't haven't gotten out. Two seconds later she would have it kicked off. I didn't understand it at the time, but she was already showing us her personality, the part that says I'm probably going to do things just because it's exactly what you don't want me to do.
I can honestly say that the first year after Sarah was born was the most miserable of my life. I feel so terrible saying that. I wanted desperately to be one of the mom's who was always glowing, dressed to the nines, holding a homemade pie in one hand and a happy, content baby in the other and telling everyone how being a mom was the best thing that ever happend to me. It just wasn't meant to be for me. I had postpartum bleeding that they finally caught two months after the delivery. It left me completely exhausted and prone to every kind of cold and infection there was. I was also clinically depressed and had gallbladder disease that took 8 months after Sarah was born to be diagnosed. I also lost my papaw that year. Sarah had a blocked tear duct, colic, and kidney reflux that made her prone to kidney infections. And Josh...he had to live with us. The fact that we survived that first year is a testament to the amazing goodness and grace of God.
I was very blessed to have a couple of older mom's who I consider mom mentors. They were old enough to have gained some experience and wisdom, but not so old that they had totally forgotten what it was like to have little ones. Nothing drives me crazier than old women who say things like, "My child never cried, threw a fit, whined, pouted, or even had a dirty diaper." The only hope they give me is that as you get older God completely erases all bad memories of motherhood and fills your head with complete visions of grandeur. :) But back to my mom mentors, one was a lady I worked in the nursery with at our church. She too had a strong-willed child. She felt my pain. She knew what it was like to not be able to go out to eat because even a 6 month old would refuse to sit in the high chair. She understood that getting ready to go somewhere required an extra hour of preparation because a strong-willed child's wardrobe is a great area of emotional breakdown. I'll never forget a day that I decided to put Sarah in the stroller and walk to church. (We lived that close to the church even before we were the preacher's family!) All was well until it was time to go home. Sarah would not go back into the stroller. We had a knock-down dragout and my mentor mom stood patiently holding the diaper bag for me while my child kicked and screamed and probably had everybody else convinced that I was killing her. But my mentor mom understood.
I had never been kicked out of a place until Sarah was born. I had lived a pretty calm, clean life. :) But sure enough we had gone to check on my friend Kim at the hospital and Sarah started crying and we got kicked out. Just a few weeks later (Sarah was about 11 months) we attended the wedding of one of Josh's good friends. Now, let me stop here and say that I do not recommend taking an 11 month old to a wedding at all! But Josh was in the wedding and it was in South Carolina and there was no one we knew to baby-sit. If I could do it all over, I would have stayed at the house with Sarah and heard about it later. But, I was still clueless. Anyway, we sat up in the balcony which I thought would be safe. However, the beautiful sanctuary had old wooden pews and floors which Sarah instantly decided would be great fun to beat her legs on and make as much noise as possible. I decided we would make our escape during the prayer so no one would see us getting up to leave. Of course with my luck, they had a section for deaf people in the balcony and they didn't bow their heads during the prayer because they were watching someone sign the prayer. I had to walk right in front of the translator with my kicking, screaming baby. Oh, the joys of motherhood!
I wish I could say that it gets easier once you are past the toddler years. In some ways, it has. The battles are less frequent, but when they occur they are so much more intense. I used to think 'There is no such thing as a strong-willed child, their parent's just don't know how to discipline them!' Can I just testify to the fact that there is such a thing as a strong-willed child!!! I've since had two more children. They both have their moments of meltdowns and disobedience, but it just doesn't even register on the same scale. They would sit for hours in the car seat or stroller. They would sleep. I feel that I have an appreciation for them that a lot of moms with "good" babies just don't understand.
I don't write this to talk bad about my firstborn. She is truly a special, caring, giving, thoughtful, and bright little girl. While she has provided some of the most challenging, embarrassing, and down-right painful times of my life, she has also provided life-changing, tender, special, and amazing moments of my life. You see, that strong-willed tempermant that makes me feel like I am going to lose my mind sometimes, also causes me to stand in awe. I am absolutely astounded by her ability to stand up to people in a way that I have never had the courage. I am overwhelmed at her persistence and know that she has what it takes to accomplish whatever it is that she is passionate about. I love that little strong-willed girl and I know that God has amazing plans for her. It takes strong-willed people to stay faithful when the going gets tough. It takes strong-willed people to stand up for what they know is right when all of us passive people take a backseat. And I have to say this, having a strong-willed child has taught me that I'm a little more strong-willed than I knew!
So many families have a wild child, black sheep, troublemaker, or whatever they choose to call them. I believe that each of my 3 kids are specially created by God with a unique personality and purpose. It is exhausting raising a strong-willed child. Sometimes it would be so easy to give into all the fits and tantrums. But I know that God has entrusted each of my children to me and that I have the equal responsibilty to discipline, teach, and love my children until they become people He can use in His kingdom. Parenting is definitely not for wimps!!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Still haven't found what I'm looking for...
A few months ago when I was still working I got paperwork to see a new patient. After two years in Mississippi with a job that took me through 3 counties and living in another county, I felt like I no longer had to worry about getting lost. Wrong! You have to understand that with our company when you get directions they usually include looking for the gray mailbox, the chicken houses, or the dirt road with no street sign.
My first mistake was that I started from my house because I thought it would be closer, but that meant that I had to reverse all of the directions! Needless to say, that was a bad idea. After driving around lost for an hour I decided to just head on to see some more patients. I had a full day that day and about 6 hours later I was headed back to find that patient. As I turned onto the road I had spent most of the morning on, a song came on the radio. It was a U2 song, y'know, the one that says, "but I still haven't found what I'm looking for". I had to laugh.
I eventually did find the house with the gray mailbox and the chicken houses on the dirt road with no street name. I was reminded of that day yesterday helping Sarah get ready for her costume contest at school. We've had activities all week long and my kids had already worn their costumes every night of the week and on the morning of the costume contest Sarah's genie hat was nowhere to be found. I knew that I had laid it on the couch the night before with the rest of her costume so it would be ready to go in the morning, but I couldn't find it anywhere! Finally Josh found it. Eli had fallen asleep on the couch the night before holding onto his spiderman costume and had apparently grabbed Sarah's hat as well.
Anway, thinking about that made me wonder how many times in life we all feel that way. That we still haven't found what we're looking for. I could tell a thousand stories of lost and found (I've threatened to pin the keys to Josh's shirt so he can keep up with them!), but I'm not just talking about physical items or places we are searching for. I am talking about the peace of mind, the purpose in life, the reason for living that everyone is searching for.
I teach a discipleship training class on Sunday nights. It was supposed to be a women's Bible study, but then some of the men needed a class and then some of the youth started coming. So, I've nicknamed it the "crockpot class". We have a little bit of everybody in it. I've shared with them that my greatest desire is to see real, sincere, genuine growth in their lives. It bothers me so much that so many people are in churches, and yet they seem so unfulfilled in their lives. But I have never believed that church is the answer. I believe that so many Christians are just as unhappy, discontent, and in a sense, lost, as anyone else because they still haven't found what they're looking for. And as a church, have we helped? Or have we created programs and activities to keep us all busy and able to say we are active in church, yet have no time to actually find what we're looking for, a relationship with Jesus?
In John 12:35 we're told, "Then Jesus said to them, 'A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of life.' "
It's my belief that so many people haven't found what they are looking for because they don't even know what they are looking for or where to look. Jesus wants to be the light that shines on our path and leads us to what we're looking for. I know there have been numerous times that I have questioned what I wanted out of life or just felt like something was missing. I know now that those were times when I allowed darkness to overtake me.
When I was younger I took an Experiencing God study that truly changed my life. I'm amazed when I look at my life and see how God has spoken and I realize that I first learned to listen God at the age of 15 completing this study with a few of my friends. We learned that some of the ways God speaks is through circumstances, His Word, the church, and prayer. Those are His directions to help us find what we are looking for. And they are so much better than mailboxes and chicken houses!!!
My first mistake was that I started from my house because I thought it would be closer, but that meant that I had to reverse all of the directions! Needless to say, that was a bad idea. After driving around lost for an hour I decided to just head on to see some more patients. I had a full day that day and about 6 hours later I was headed back to find that patient. As I turned onto the road I had spent most of the morning on, a song came on the radio. It was a U2 song, y'know, the one that says, "but I still haven't found what I'm looking for". I had to laugh.
I eventually did find the house with the gray mailbox and the chicken houses on the dirt road with no street name. I was reminded of that day yesterday helping Sarah get ready for her costume contest at school. We've had activities all week long and my kids had already worn their costumes every night of the week and on the morning of the costume contest Sarah's genie hat was nowhere to be found. I knew that I had laid it on the couch the night before with the rest of her costume so it would be ready to go in the morning, but I couldn't find it anywhere! Finally Josh found it. Eli had fallen asleep on the couch the night before holding onto his spiderman costume and had apparently grabbed Sarah's hat as well.
Anway, thinking about that made me wonder how many times in life we all feel that way. That we still haven't found what we're looking for. I could tell a thousand stories of lost and found (I've threatened to pin the keys to Josh's shirt so he can keep up with them!), but I'm not just talking about physical items or places we are searching for. I am talking about the peace of mind, the purpose in life, the reason for living that everyone is searching for.
I teach a discipleship training class on Sunday nights. It was supposed to be a women's Bible study, but then some of the men needed a class and then some of the youth started coming. So, I've nicknamed it the "crockpot class". We have a little bit of everybody in it. I've shared with them that my greatest desire is to see real, sincere, genuine growth in their lives. It bothers me so much that so many people are in churches, and yet they seem so unfulfilled in their lives. But I have never believed that church is the answer. I believe that so many Christians are just as unhappy, discontent, and in a sense, lost, as anyone else because they still haven't found what they're looking for. And as a church, have we helped? Or have we created programs and activities to keep us all busy and able to say we are active in church, yet have no time to actually find what we're looking for, a relationship with Jesus?
In John 12:35 we're told, "Then Jesus said to them, 'A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of life.' "
It's my belief that so many people haven't found what they are looking for because they don't even know what they are looking for or where to look. Jesus wants to be the light that shines on our path and leads us to what we're looking for. I know there have been numerous times that I have questioned what I wanted out of life or just felt like something was missing. I know now that those were times when I allowed darkness to overtake me.
When I was younger I took an Experiencing God study that truly changed my life. I'm amazed when I look at my life and see how God has spoken and I realize that I first learned to listen God at the age of 15 completing this study with a few of my friends. We learned that some of the ways God speaks is through circumstances, His Word, the church, and prayer. Those are His directions to help us find what we are looking for. And they are so much better than mailboxes and chicken houses!!!
Bring the Rain
Last night I had the privilege of hearing my husband sing. He has the sweetest voice. I tease him because I can alway tell who he's on the phone with by the tone of his voice. He talks real deep when it's his dad and real sweet and well mannered when it's his mom. I always know when it is a church member because of the businesslike concern in his voice. For 10 years it has amazed me the power that his voice holds. I've seen him transformed as he steps into the pulpit and the Holy Spirit speaks boldy through his softspoken voice. I've heard the daddy voice as he sternly disciplines our kids and tenderly encourages them.
But my favorite is when he calls me babydoll and speaks words of love and adoration to me. For 10 years his voice has had the power to calm me in a way that nothing else can. The world could be falling down around me (and believe me, there have been plenty of times I thought it was) but as soon as I hear him say, "Hey babydoll" it is all better. I can't explain it, but listening to him sing last night I felt such pride in him. Not in his singing ability, even though he can sing. But I felt pride in who he is. He sang a song called "Bring the Rain" by MercyMe. It talks about the things we experience and asks that no matter what happens it would all be used to glorify God. It says, "Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain." There are a lot of Christian songs that express that same idea, but watching Josh sing those words means so much to me becuase I know that those are not just words, but his life.
I am continually disgusted to hear about scandals and controversy surrounding popular preachers, and while I know that all people are only human and prone to weakness and failures, I long to see more. I have such a desire to see people who have higher standards and expectations. More than anything, I want to see the real deal. I feel so blessed that God has chosen to bless my life with someone who is the real deal. I continue to stand in awe at Josh's ability to trust God and give Him the praise in all situations.
Lately, it has felt like God is not just bringing the rain into our lives, but there may be tropical storms on the horizon. I'm thankful that Josh's faith is able to encourage mine. When I'm ready to evacuate, Josh is always strong enough to say "Bring on the rain!"
I just felt like I should write this that maybe your faith would be encouraged as well. It's so tempting to get on here and blog about all of the people who drive me crazy or make me mad. But I feel like too often we overlook the people who are there to make things good. So... here's to Josh and all of you who choose to find the good in all things, offer encouragement instead of criticism, and love instead of judgement. God bless you!
But my favorite is when he calls me babydoll and speaks words of love and adoration to me. For 10 years his voice has had the power to calm me in a way that nothing else can. The world could be falling down around me (and believe me, there have been plenty of times I thought it was) but as soon as I hear him say, "Hey babydoll" it is all better. I can't explain it, but listening to him sing last night I felt such pride in him. Not in his singing ability, even though he can sing. But I felt pride in who he is. He sang a song called "Bring the Rain" by MercyMe. It talks about the things we experience and asks that no matter what happens it would all be used to glorify God. It says, "Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings you glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain." There are a lot of Christian songs that express that same idea, but watching Josh sing those words means so much to me becuase I know that those are not just words, but his life.
I am continually disgusted to hear about scandals and controversy surrounding popular preachers, and while I know that all people are only human and prone to weakness and failures, I long to see more. I have such a desire to see people who have higher standards and expectations. More than anything, I want to see the real deal. I feel so blessed that God has chosen to bless my life with someone who is the real deal. I continue to stand in awe at Josh's ability to trust God and give Him the praise in all situations.
Lately, it has felt like God is not just bringing the rain into our lives, but there may be tropical storms on the horizon. I'm thankful that Josh's faith is able to encourage mine. When I'm ready to evacuate, Josh is always strong enough to say "Bring on the rain!"
I just felt like I should write this that maybe your faith would be encouraged as well. It's so tempting to get on here and blog about all of the people who drive me crazy or make me mad. But I feel like too often we overlook the people who are there to make things good. So... here's to Josh and all of you who choose to find the good in all things, offer encouragement instead of criticism, and love instead of judgement. God bless you!
Parsley
It's never good when someone calls and asks how you're doing and you have to answer, "I'm just stting on the side of the road crying." I didn't add that I was praying that no truck driver would be having a bad day and swerve even an inch as there was no margin of error where I was parked.
This day started as a normal Saturday. I needed to go grocery shopping. We had to make an unexpected trip out of town the weekend before and we were getting down to our last saltine. But, being the true diva that I have become I decided I needed to make the 45 minute trip into Meridian. You see, our Wal-Mart does not carry the South Beach Diet Pizzas and for some reason I have become totally addicted to them. Anyway, I got to Wal-Mart and was sitting in the jeep looking through my coupons (my small attempt to save money) when out of nowhere there was a loud sound that sounded just like someone had hit me. (I know that sound too well-see previous blogs). I looked up and realized I hadn't felt anybody hit me and that is when the smoke began rising. My heart sank and my mind raced. This had happened to me before. I started to panic but I thought that maybe if I went inside to shop by the time I came out it would have cooled down enough to drive.
When I got out I was disheartened to see a green liquid all over the ground. I couldn't remember what that meant, but I knew it wasn't good. A man came over and said, "Something broke". I don't know what it is about me that I always come across the most helpful people. He told me that it should cool down while I was shopping so I was glad that I had figured that much on my own.
I did my shopping and it took quite awhile. Now that I am at home I am determined to try new recipes and check labels to see how healthy the food is. I'm still learning though. One of my recipes called for parsley and I realizedt that I didn't know if it meant real parsley or the kind in the seasoning section. So, I got both. I did decide that if we could learn to live off of real parsley then we could fit our groceries into our budget and I could fit into my clothes. So, now I'm trying to switch to an all parsley diet. Um, yeah right. Oh well. I also got the anti-freeze that Josh had instructed me to get to refill whatever had just blown up in the jeep.
When I got back to the parking lot I loaded the bomb shelter quantity of food I had bought into the jeep. Then, I had to figure out where to put that anti-freeze stuff. So, there I was on the phone trying to hold up the hood of the jeep and open the anti-freeze bottle. As I opened the hood and asked Josh where it was supposed to go I saw a cap that said "Anti-freeze". That was very helpful. I've decided I'm going to create a girl friendly car with pretty colors and big letters and arrows showing where everything goes. I'm pretty sure I spilled more anti-freeze than I actually got into the thing (that's technical mechanical talk), but the jeep started and seemed to be doing ok for a little while.
Once I was on the interstate it started overheating again, but Josh was on the phone telling me that it should be okay once I got out of town. Just as I passed the exit I was going to stop at the jeep started slowing down. No matter how hard I pressed on the accelerator the speed was dropping. I kept hearing this noise but I was driving past the airport and I thought it was a plane or something. Then I noticed it would go away when I took my foot off the accelerator. I was making that noise!! I pulled off on the side of the road. This was not a good situation. Josh was at home with all three kids and had no way to come get me as his car is still not running. I called Karen who will probably start blocking my calls from now on and she said she could come and take me and my groceries home.
It was at that point my friend Brandi called. She had been to a ladie's retreat and was excited to tell me about it. That was when I shared my predicament with her. I was, in fact, sitting on the side of the road crying. I told her Karen was on her way and she told me that she could talk to me while I waited. It was good to hear how her weekend had been and think about something besides the fact I had blown up the motor in the only running vehicle we have and that I just got my last paycheck two weeks ago. When my phone first rang I thought it was the worst timing possible. But after we talked I realized that God was so good to send me encouraging words in my time of distress. Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."
On the way home (after we had unloaded all of the groceries and reloaded them into Karen's car) I shared my idea about the parsley diet. As I did I was reminded about a Beth Moore conference I had gone to a few years ago. She shared how she was making homemade soup with her daughter when she realized she didn't have any parsley. (I suppose she knew what kind she was supposed to have). She said she went into panic mode and was having a nervous breakdown about the parsley. She said finally her daughter looked at her and said, "It's just parsley". It was so funny that I remembered that story at that moment because I knew God was trying to tell me "This is just parsley". In the big recipe of life broken down cars are really not the end of the world.
Josh called yesterday to tell me the quote from the mechanic. He asked if I was sitting down. He told me the quote. I really should have been laying down in the fetal position. We are starting the parsley diet tonight!
This day started as a normal Saturday. I needed to go grocery shopping. We had to make an unexpected trip out of town the weekend before and we were getting down to our last saltine. But, being the true diva that I have become I decided I needed to make the 45 minute trip into Meridian. You see, our Wal-Mart does not carry the South Beach Diet Pizzas and for some reason I have become totally addicted to them. Anyway, I got to Wal-Mart and was sitting in the jeep looking through my coupons (my small attempt to save money) when out of nowhere there was a loud sound that sounded just like someone had hit me. (I know that sound too well-see previous blogs). I looked up and realized I hadn't felt anybody hit me and that is when the smoke began rising. My heart sank and my mind raced. This had happened to me before. I started to panic but I thought that maybe if I went inside to shop by the time I came out it would have cooled down enough to drive.
When I got out I was disheartened to see a green liquid all over the ground. I couldn't remember what that meant, but I knew it wasn't good. A man came over and said, "Something broke". I don't know what it is about me that I always come across the most helpful people. He told me that it should cool down while I was shopping so I was glad that I had figured that much on my own.
I did my shopping and it took quite awhile. Now that I am at home I am determined to try new recipes and check labels to see how healthy the food is. I'm still learning though. One of my recipes called for parsley and I realizedt that I didn't know if it meant real parsley or the kind in the seasoning section. So, I got both. I did decide that if we could learn to live off of real parsley then we could fit our groceries into our budget and I could fit into my clothes. So, now I'm trying to switch to an all parsley diet. Um, yeah right. Oh well. I also got the anti-freeze that Josh had instructed me to get to refill whatever had just blown up in the jeep.
When I got back to the parking lot I loaded the bomb shelter quantity of food I had bought into the jeep. Then, I had to figure out where to put that anti-freeze stuff. So, there I was on the phone trying to hold up the hood of the jeep and open the anti-freeze bottle. As I opened the hood and asked Josh where it was supposed to go I saw a cap that said "Anti-freeze". That was very helpful. I've decided I'm going to create a girl friendly car with pretty colors and big letters and arrows showing where everything goes. I'm pretty sure I spilled more anti-freeze than I actually got into the thing (that's technical mechanical talk), but the jeep started and seemed to be doing ok for a little while.
Once I was on the interstate it started overheating again, but Josh was on the phone telling me that it should be okay once I got out of town. Just as I passed the exit I was going to stop at the jeep started slowing down. No matter how hard I pressed on the accelerator the speed was dropping. I kept hearing this noise but I was driving past the airport and I thought it was a plane or something. Then I noticed it would go away when I took my foot off the accelerator. I was making that noise!! I pulled off on the side of the road. This was not a good situation. Josh was at home with all three kids and had no way to come get me as his car is still not running. I called Karen who will probably start blocking my calls from now on and she said she could come and take me and my groceries home.
It was at that point my friend Brandi called. She had been to a ladie's retreat and was excited to tell me about it. That was when I shared my predicament with her. I was, in fact, sitting on the side of the road crying. I told her Karen was on her way and she told me that she could talk to me while I waited. It was good to hear how her weekend had been and think about something besides the fact I had blown up the motor in the only running vehicle we have and that I just got my last paycheck two weeks ago. When my phone first rang I thought it was the worst timing possible. But after we talked I realized that God was so good to send me encouraging words in my time of distress. Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."
On the way home (after we had unloaded all of the groceries and reloaded them into Karen's car) I shared my idea about the parsley diet. As I did I was reminded about a Beth Moore conference I had gone to a few years ago. She shared how she was making homemade soup with her daughter when she realized she didn't have any parsley. (I suppose she knew what kind she was supposed to have). She said she went into panic mode and was having a nervous breakdown about the parsley. She said finally her daughter looked at her and said, "It's just parsley". It was so funny that I remembered that story at that moment because I knew God was trying to tell me "This is just parsley". In the big recipe of life broken down cars are really not the end of the world.
Josh called yesterday to tell me the quote from the mechanic. He asked if I was sitting down. He told me the quote. I really should have been laying down in the fetal position. We are starting the parsley diet tonight!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Domestic Diva Dropout
Okay, I've been home for two months now and I just have to be honest. I totally stink at being a domestic diva. All dreams and hopes I had of 8 course fresh from scratch meals, spotless floors and volumes of scrapbooks have been dashed. Kate was just walking through the living room with an empty pizza hut box, a testament to the fact that I have not been cooking every meal. As I write there is a hugh shop vac we borrowed from the church that I've just decided to leave in the dining room as it is the most efficient way to clean up after meals where most of the food ends up on the floor. As for scrapbooking...doesn't that require sitting down? :)
So, needless to say I do not feel that I have accomplished my goals. I will definitely not be asked to write any articles for the Ladies Home Journal or appear on tv morning shows sharing my great housekeeping secrets. In fact, you may see me on an upcoming episode of SuperNanny. :) Oh well.
Here are some of the things I am experiencing:
Kate is into EVERYTHING!!!! She walks around with purses and babydolls and has created her own language. She also has curls! She is a cuddler, but I have also seen her grab Eli by the shirt and take him down. She loves music and can't help but dance to anything that comes on.
Sarah is doing really well in 1st grade. She already has 15 spelling words every week and more homework than I think I had in middle school! As always with Sarah, life is a big social event. She has started taking dance and loves it. She always asks me if she has to go to school or if she can just do dance. That's my girl!
Eli has become quite the little dude.He asked me the other day "Do I look cool or do I look awesome?" To have the self-esteem of a 3 year old! He loves cars, and balls and dressing himself. I'm still trying to figure out the statistical odds of putting your pants on backwards every single time, but I was never good at math. :) He has it rough right now surrounded by so many girls, but it will work out for him one day!
Despite the fact that I made chicken and chip casserole the other night and forgot the chicken (seriously), I have high hopes for the future. At least I have plenty of time to save for my children's therapy! :)
Monday, June 9, 2008
Speaking the Truth
Maybe it's just me, but the truth seems hard to come by these days. Beyond the normal deceit of politicians or the "little white lie" about our dress size, the truth appears to be as rare and elusive as a Saturday afternoon nap. I'm talking about real truth. The painful kind. The kind that makes you think. The kind of truth that makes your heart do that flip flop thing.
Too often we are all running from the truth. If we can get one more credit card we can pretend that we can actually afford a lifestyle we've created for ourselves. If we wear the right clothes and get the right hairstyle we can convince those around us that we are confident and self-assured. If we go back to our class reunion with a thriving career it's ok if we omit the miserable failings in our relationships. And if we can pat people who are going through a hard time on the back and say "It will all be alright" then surely it will, right?
Well, I'm a recovering people pleaser, preacher's wife, hospice social worker, and mother of three. Unfortunately, most of the times when the truth has hurt me it has been because it's been handed to me in basket of anger, bitterness, jealousy,or carelessness. Despite my unfortunate run ins with the truth, I've learned something else about it along the way. It's necessary. In the same way I need to know if I have lettuce in my teeth or my jeans are too tight, I also need to know when I have areas to grow in. We all do. We could all wander around with food in our teeth and we could all continue to roam around acting immature, thoughtless, selfish, or a million other shortcomings we possess. But... here's the good news.
Too often we are all running from the truth. If we can get one more credit card we can pretend that we can actually afford a lifestyle we've created for ourselves. If we wear the right clothes and get the right hairstyle we can convince those around us that we are confident and self-assured. If we go back to our class reunion with a thriving career it's ok if we omit the miserable failings in our relationships. And if we can pat people who are going through a hard time on the back and say "It will all be alright" then surely it will, right?
Well, I'm a recovering people pleaser, preacher's wife, hospice social worker, and mother of three. Unfortunately, most of the times when the truth has hurt me it has been because it's been handed to me in basket of anger, bitterness, jealousy,or carelessness. Despite my unfortunate run ins with the truth, I've learned something else about it along the way. It's necessary. In the same way I need to know if I have lettuce in my teeth or my jeans are too tight, I also need to know when I have areas to grow in. We all do. We could all wander around with food in our teeth and we could all continue to roam around acting immature, thoughtless, selfish, or a million other shortcomings we possess. But... here's the good news.
"And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ".Ephesians 4:11-15
Isn't that wonderful? Speaking the truth in love is how we grow. It's how we become more like Christ. The same truth that bites and tears at us when spoken out of meaness, can encourage growth when spoken in love. That's what this page will be about. Everyday, the Truth changes my life and I hope to be an encourager to others who are seeking to "grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ."
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