Friday, October 31, 2008

Still haven't found what I'm looking for...

A few months ago when I was still working I got paperwork to see a new patient. After two years in Mississippi with a job that took me through 3 counties and living in another county, I felt like I no longer had to worry about getting lost. Wrong! You have to understand that with our company when you get directions they usually include looking for the gray mailbox, the chicken houses, or the dirt road with no street sign.

My first mistake was that I started from my house because I thought it would be closer, but that meant that I had to reverse all of the directions! Needless to say, that was a bad idea. After driving around lost for an hour I decided to just head on to see some more patients. I had a full day that day and about 6 hours later I was headed back to find that patient. As I turned onto the road I had spent most of the morning on, a song came on the radio. It was a U2 song, y'know, the one that says, "but I still haven't found what I'm looking for". I had to laugh.

I eventually did find the house with the gray mailbox and the chicken houses on the dirt road with no street name. I was reminded of that day yesterday helping Sarah get ready for her costume contest at school. We've had activities all week long and my kids had already worn their costumes every night of the week and on the morning of the costume contest Sarah's genie hat was nowhere to be found. I knew that I had laid it on the couch the night before with the rest of her costume so it would be ready to go in the morning, but I couldn't find it anywhere! Finally Josh found it. Eli had fallen asleep on the couch the night before holding onto his spiderman costume and had apparently grabbed Sarah's hat as well.

Anway, thinking about that made me wonder how many times in life we all feel that way. That we still haven't found what we're looking for. I could tell a thousand stories of lost and found (I've threatened to pin the keys to Josh's shirt so he can keep up with them!), but I'm not just talking about physical items or places we are searching for. I am talking about the peace of mind, the purpose in life, the reason for living that everyone is searching for.

I teach a discipleship training class on Sunday nights. It was supposed to be a women's Bible study, but then some of the men needed a class and then some of the youth started coming. So, I've nicknamed it the "crockpot class". We have a little bit of everybody in it. I've shared with them that my greatest desire is to see real, sincere, genuine growth in their lives. It bothers me so much that so many people are in churches, and yet they seem so unfulfilled in their lives. But I have never believed that church is the answer. I believe that so many Christians are just as unhappy, discontent, and in a sense, lost, as anyone else because they still haven't found what they're looking for. And as a church, have we helped? Or have we created programs and activities to keep us all busy and able to say we are active in church, yet have no time to actually find what we're looking for, a relationship with Jesus?

In John 12:35 we're told, "Then Jesus said to them, 'A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of life.' "

It's my belief that so many people haven't found what they are looking for because they don't even know what they are looking for or where to look. Jesus wants to be the light that shines on our path and leads us to what we're looking for. I know there have been numerous times that I have questioned what I wanted out of life or just felt like something was missing. I know now that those were times when I allowed darkness to overtake me.

When I was younger I took an Experiencing God study that truly changed my life. I'm amazed when I look at my life and see how God has spoken and I realize that I first learned to listen God at the age of 15 completing this study with a few of my friends. We learned that some of the ways God speaks is through circumstances, His Word, the church, and prayer. Those are His directions to help us find what we are looking for. And they are so much better than mailboxes and chicken houses!!!

1 comment:

Lori said...

Hi Emily! I know you don't know me but I'm a friend of Karen Napp's from Andalusia. I think you and I may have graduated from FSU the same day (both in SW too). Anyway, I saw your blog through her and thought I would say how much I love that you speak out so strongly about your faith. Enjoyed reading it.

Lori Foreman