Take a Chill Pill

Oh dear. Leave it to me. Apparently after my last post I had some people anxiously awaiting a grand announcement from the Fidler household. I'm not sure what everyone was expecting, but I just feel terrible to have to let you know that the "exciting" breaking news is really just a cute prank in the town of Montrose, that truthfully will probably not be that interesting to y'all at all. Well, I guess maybe this encourages me that I have what it takes to write teasers for the news stations. :)

The truth is this may be the most non-exciting, non-news breaking summer of our lives. Pretty much every summer since we've been married we've been moving, having babies, graduating from college, or changing jobs. None of that now. In fact, I have become concerned that we might need someone to intervene and drag the Fidler 5 out of our lazy summer day routine. I am someone who LOVES to have lazy days of reading, movie watching, and just hanging out. However, even I have reached a point I never knew was possible for me. I'm kind of bored.

I so hate to say that because for so long I have dreamt of a slower pace with less stress. God has granted us that right now, but I almost don't know what to do with myself! The problem is, even if I WANT to enjoy laying around and hanging out, I always FEEL like I should be doing something else. Feeding the world, adopting orphans, cleaning my room. Y'know, stuff like that. We are just in a transition phase right now. Well, nothing is really transitioning other than our hearts. We are really unsure of the plans God has for us. Josh still hasn't found a job to replace his Hospice job and so we are waiting for a new job, a new direction, or for God to assure us that we can live on what He is providing right now. I was desperately hoping the phone would ring today with some exciting news I could pass along. It didn't. Kate did go pee pee in the potty once though!!!

I really would appreciate your prayers though. Josh did get a raise at the church and that was a huge blessing. The most difficult part is just feeling we might be on the verge of breaking news and then it not happening. Yesterday I really felt like God told me something I often have to tell my children. "Will you just take a chill pill?" Okay, so I'm sure God doesn't speak in those terms, but it is basically the idea that it is going to work out and I just need to enjoy the lazy summer days He has given us this summer. I pray that I can quit obsessing about what might be and soak up every minute I have to spend with Josh and our kids.

So sorry to disappoint. I'll just leave you with this. Stay Tuned!!!!!!!

You Heard It Here Folks...

I have a real newsbreaking story that is so newsbreaking I can't share it yet, because it hasn't even broke. But in the meantime I wanted to share this bit of news with you from the Jasper County newspaper The Impact. While the rest of the world is engrossed in 24 hour coverage of war, politics and Michael Jackson...here is what we're talking about in our neck of the woods.

“Yes, I would like to just say what is up with the dead bugs in the post office in Bay Springs? I mean, really, this can be taken care of with a mop and a broom. At least the postal workers could go through there and sweep daily. Thank you.”––Female

The Sitcom of my Life

WARNING: I am two months away from my 10 year high school reunion and my child just turned seven. I also threw away the last bottle (that belonged to Kate, not my 7 year old :) and I'm just gonna be honest...I am a sentimental fool right now. One of my friends who I've known since 7th grade called the other day and we started talking about high school memories. I can truly say that I have the worst memory known to mankind, but lately memories of senior year have come flooding back.

Pep rallies, ballgames, dances, um classes. (We found a way to squeeze those in sometimes. :) I found some notes written between my friends and myself and I have to tell you, the sheer number of boys whose names were written in code that I can't remember is overwhelming! If you are waiting for me to get to a serious point with all of this I'm not. Honestly, I've been feeling downright silly and giddy lately.

I'm also in total shock that I have a seven year old. I don't know why, but I'm really having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I think that it is because for me, my life started at seven. I already told you I have a horrible memory. I have a few memories from when I was younger, but for the most part everything in life that I remember happened after seven. To tell you the truth, I think that I'm as amazed that I'm not still seven myself!! I promise I just turned seven! I was reminded of this when Sarah and her friend wanted to watch a movie that is all the rage with the teenagers right now. I, of course, told her absolutely not. I couldn't believe that she would even want to see it when there are still so many Strawberry Shortcake movies left in the series. :) Then, it hit me. I was seven when Dirty Dancing came out. I really wanted to see it. Why? Because everybody I knew wanted to see it! Duh! Well, my mom told me absolutely not, so I did what you would expect a good preacher's wife to do. I watched it at my friend's house when I spent the night. Sorry mama!! For the record, I was not the preacher's wife then.

So, as you can see I am just full of sentiment and emotions. I was also grateful that no one I know was out last night as I was driving around singing Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know?" at the top of my lungs. I had to laugh as I realized that is another seven year old memory and why the heck was I already worried about how I would know if boys were in love with me?

Anyway, all of this sentiment and memories has caused me to ponder my life's journey and consider life up to this point. I could get all mushy and go on and on about the unbelievable journey God has taken me on and the incredible ways that I've seen His grace and mercy. It would all be very true. But because I'm feeling so stinkin' silly I am going to tell you about my life in TV terms. You see, I had such dreams of being a leading lady (not on tv, but in my own life). You know, the one who is classy, sophisticated and has the world at her fingertips. Oh, and perfect hair, don't forget the hair. The woman who always says and does the right things and people's jaws drop as she walks by due to her sheer awesomeness. Like one of Charlie's Angels or something.

Well, in case you haven't gathered from reading my blog, I am not that gal. In fact, just this week I had the realization that my life has become a sitcom. Seriously, if you think writers make up the stuff on your favorites shows, I doubt it. I think they are probably just all parents. At one point this week I was getting on to my kids as I walked out of the bathroom and I just happened to look at myself in the mirror. I was still in my pajamas (dont' ask what time it was), my hair would have looked better if it had been in curlers, and I was waving a toilet brush to emphasize my point. Good gracious!! Just moments later I slipped on a skirt in Sarah's room and did a split. Back in my high school days I could have handled a split, but now! Holy cow, I'm surprised I'm up and walking today! Later when I finally got to the bathroom I was trying to clean ,Kate slipped in the 8 gallons of bath bubbles that had "mysteriously" ended up on the floor. We were dropping like flies. That's when it hit me. I'm not one of Charlie's Angels, I'm a Lucy!!

So there you have it. I have a seven year old and I've turned into Lucille Ball. I do still have two months until my reunion. I just need to achieve world peace, get a cool car, and become a millionaire. It could happen by September, right???

BTW, I asked the preacher (aka my husband) what he missed the most about our high school days. I expected him to say something about the fun times or having no responsibilities. Nah. He said what he missed most was seeing me in my pep rally outfit. :) Just so you know, the odds of me becoming a millionaire and solving world hunger are much greater than me getting back into that outfit!!!!

Beautiful Feet

This is one of my favorite pictures from the wedding. Isn't that weird? Well, I am weird! This is me, Leah, and her other bridesmaid Amber showing off our matching toes. The other night while washing dishes I noticed the picture I have standing in our kitchen window. It was given to us not long after we answered God's call to move to Mississippi. It has two verses:

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim salvation and say...

OUR GOD REIGNS!"

Isaiah 52:7

"Go into all the world and preach the Gospel, serving where God has sent you."

based on Matthew 28:19

When I read those words I remembered that picture. While Leah and Amber do have very beautiful feet :), the real beauty is that they will be proclaiming the good news where God is sending them. Two days after the wedding Amber and her family packed up and moved to Mississippi to follow God's plan for them. (Seems like moving to Mississippi is the cool thing to do. :) Leah will soon follow her groom to Aviano, Italy. I know God has special plans for them and they will be in my prayers as they seek to find their place in their new homes and serve our Father in all the world!

While thinking about this I also realized that 4 of my blogging buddies have recently followed God in big steps of faith. I ask that you join me in praying for them. My friend Karen is serving the next two weeks in Ukraine assisting with eye exams and sharing the gospel. Philip is currently on a mission trip to Guyanna (I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong) and the Middleton family will soon be moving to complete a year long internship on church planting. Amanda is a very special college student who came to help lead our youth's disciple now weekend. She is currently working with orphans in Uganda. I feel like it is such an honor to know so many who are serving our Lord and seeking His Will. It is so fun to pray with my kids for real people we really know who are serving in so many different ways.

As if all of that wasn't enough, the Friday of the wedding rehearsal I got a text message that said, "My little girl just asked Jesus into her heart at CiCi's!" I could not for the life of me figure out who it was from, but I rejoiced anyway. We were eating at a CiCi's when God told us to move to Mississippi. So if you're waiting for a Word from Him you might want to head out for some pizza. :) I later found out the text was from my friend Kim. Her daughter, Camber, had prayed to recieve Christ right there in the restaurant. I am so proud to not only have friends serving around the world and the country, but also friends who are being missionaries in their own homes and leading their own babies to Christ!

Okay. I just had to brag on everybody. I am surrounded by so many beautiful feet!!!

Sweet Sarah B.

Sarah, the new big sisterSleeping Sarah Beth

Happy Birthday to my sweet Sarah B.!! That stands for Sarah Beth, but she has recently informed me that she wants to be called Sarah Elizabeth. :)


This is the perfect picture of Sarah. Barefoot and laughing!!


Well, Sarah Elizabeth, life has not been the same since you graced our lives SEVEN years ago. How are you seven?!?! Time sure flies when you're having fun and that is for sure what you have brought to our lives. You are the most social person I have ever known and to beat out your daddy and your Aunt Jenny in that department takes a lot! You love people, plans and parties. I will never as long as I live forget the night you invited Mr. Matt and Mrs. Cortnee to our house for supper after church. I had no clue. Our living room was covered in laundry and I had a pot of leftover vegetable soup on the stove. Luckily the laundry was clean and we made a run to Subway. You have really challenged my hospitality skills and you definitely keep me on my toes!!!!!! :)









You have so many qualities that I admire. You are bold, outgoing, and a leader. When I read about pioneer girls I think of you. I can see you building cabins, milking cows, and feeding chickens all while looking stylish. You love the bling bling! You have always had your own sense of style and you love a pair of heels and a pretty dress like it is nobody's business. I love the way you love people. You have a compassion and thoughtfulness that is so beyond your years. I also can always count on you to say what you are thinking or wondering. I left you with a neighbor for 30 minutes and by the time I got back you had discussed with her if she and her daughters had been baptized!!!! I would give anything to have your boldness and your openess. You are fearless. You love roller coasters. You love dancing and going out to eat (the things you got from me :).



You were meant to be a big sister. From the moment we brought Eli home you have shown the perfect balance of nurturing, bossing and hovering that is necessary to be a big sister. (I speak from experience here.) You adore Eli and Kate and you are such a big helper to me. Eli and Kate want to be just like you!



This time last year you wanted to be a ballerina, cowgirl, and a soccer player. Now, you want to be a doctor, dentist or veterinarian. You've already informed me that I can keep your kids. :) Whatever you do, God will use you mightily because you love Him so much and you have determination unlike any other person I've ever known.



You have provided more memories in the last seven years than I could ever recount. I think of you every time I wash dishes with my Dawn soap. It is the only kind I will use now after learning that it is absolutely the only thing that will get vaseline out of hair. That is a piece of knowledge you helped enlighten me on. :)



I love you so much Sarah Elizabeth and the truth is that I just keep liking you better the older you get. You are so much fun and you challenge me to be stronger, bolder, and to have more fun. I hope your birthday party is everything you've been planning everyday since your party last year!! :)






K-3 at Good Shepherd

First Day of Kindergarten

Beautiful Birthday Girl

The Good News

No, I didn't win the $10,000 at Burger King. I did win a croissanwich, an apple pie, and a whopper. Yes, I've been eating way too much fast food lately. The closest BK to us is 45 minutes away so anytime we go out of town we ravenously eat fast food like the world is coming to an end. What does that have to do with the good news? I have no idea, so I will move along.

Before I get to the good news I am going to give you another confession from the laundry room. This one isn't funny. It's downright painful. Even though I am a preacher's wife, sometimes my faith falters. It can be a small question of how a bill will get paid. Or, unfortunately, I can fall into an outright fit of doubts, tears, and questions. This happened recently and unfortunately at a public place. The mall to be exact. I found myself in a public bathroom crying my eyes out and asking God if He hates me. Yes. I really did ask Him that. I know that many of you will find that shocking. There was a time in my life that I would never dare ask or question anything about my faith. Who am I to ask such questions of a Heavenly Father who sent His only Son to die for me? Well, at the moment I was just a very weak, exhausted human who felt a little abandoned.

Please don't label me a heretic and stop reading. I promise I am getting to the good news. The reason I am even sharing this experience, which is not even close to my finest moment, is because I feel led to. I am pretty certain that even if you have never outright asked God if He hates you, you may have had some time in your life when you have questioned God's plan or His love for you. The more I talk to people the more I feel like this is the dirty little secret in Christian communities. We all stand up and say "God is good, all the time!!" So how can we possibly wonder if He is good? How do we make sense of those times when all signs point to the fact that He must not be good and He must not love us? I know that I have been so blessed and yet I ask this question. I am surrounded by people who have sick children, disabled parents, loved ones in war zones, and people who are struggling through financial crisis. How do we possibly reconcile that God loves us when so many are suffering?

Often people will talk about a man named Job in the Bible who lost everything, but maintained his belief and devotion to God. I have recently been reading a book titled "The Gospel of Ruth". It takes a look at Naomi, someone who is often overlooked in scripture. She also suffered many of the losses that Job did. On top of her losses, she was a woman, and in her culture a woman with no man to care for her was as low in the social caste as you could be. I realized reading this book that I often cast Naomi aside because it calls her bitter. Who wants anything to do with someone who is bitter? It's better to just move onto the story of Ruth and how God worked things out for her.

I am so thankful that I took this deeper look at Naomi because she teaches us about suffering. She also teaches us that God's love is continual and not only that, but He will still bless us and use us in spite of our weak faith. The truth is that Naomi had every right to be bitter. She lost her husband, her two sons and her home. Due to famine her family was forced to leave their homeland and her sons married foreign women who worshipped foreign gods that required child sacrifice. She had grown up hearing the amazing stories of Yaweh and how He had saved the Isrealites and provided for them. She had placed her faith in Him. At the point we begin reading Ruth we see that Naomi feels betrayed. She doesn't feel that the same God who took care of the Isrealites has taken care of her. She feels betrayed. Despite Naomi's pleas with Ruth to leave her and go back to her home Ruth refuses. Even after Naomi has made it clear that her God has abandoned her Ruth still insists that she will not only follow Naomi wherever she goes, but that she will follow her God as well.

The very next day after my breakdown at the mall Josh and I recieved a gift with a note. The note said "Jesus told me to give this to you. He said to tell you He loves you."

Can you believe that? I personally felt like I deserved a note that said "Jesus said to take a hike. You've become a selfish, spoiled rotten brat who is causing problems with all of your questions." In some ways isn't that what we've been taught? Who are we to question or cry or struggle? Aren't we supposed to put on a happy face and tell people how the Lord works everything out? I used to think so. But now I know that's not true.

Here is the GOOD NEWS! The good news is that God is strong enough to handle our fears, frustrations and doubts. He is who He is. Our emotions, good or bad, don't change Him. Our circumstances don't change Him. The even better news is that our circumstances that may seem like the very thing that will pull us away from Him can often be what He uses us to draw us closer to Him. In "The Gospel of Ruth" Carolyn Custis James says, "Somehow we've convinced ourselves that the more mature we become as Christians-and both Naomi and Job were seasoned believers-the thicker our spiritual skin will become. We'll be resilient in adversity. It's a sign of spiritual failure (so we tell ourselves) when suffering gets the better of us and our faith in God gets shaky. Such notions (which aren't supported by Scripture, certainly not the legacies of Naomi and Job) get in the way of our spiritual growth and block us from engaging the God who pursues us in our pain."

I don't know what is going on in your life today. What questions, fears or doubts you have. I just wanted to give you the gift I was given. Jesus told me to tell you He loves you.

Two Weeks I'll Never Forget...If I Can Remember Them!

Well, we left for Panama City and it was June. We came back and it was July 7th! Where in the world does the time go? Since I don't have the greatest memory it is a good thing that I do have a million and a half pictures! I'm only sharing half a million with you. :)

After a week full of dance rehearsals and Vacation Bible School, my parents arrived for the much anticipated dance recital. They also came bearing gifts! My parents and brother gave Josh and I a new microwave for our anniversary and brought me an early birthday present...a new camera!!! I am just spoiled rotten!

Sarah did beautifully at her dance recital and made me so proud! She really is a natural, her dance teacher told me so. :) I quickly realized seeing all the faces of the other audience members that not too many other people share my love of dance recitals. Oh well, me and Sarah had fun!

Do you remember the blog when I mentioned how much I've missed the aqua net days of dance recitals? Kate decided to help me make the most of this time. When we got home from the recital I was "powdering my nose" in the bathroom when Kate decided she would try out her potty. She sat on it for a while. Then, she stood up and pooped on the floor. I really had forgotten how much fun potty training is. :) I went to get the wipes and when I came back she was standing on the toilet seat peeing ON TOP of the seat and spraying hair spray EVERYWHERE!! Fun times were had by all....

Sarah with her trophy.


I just had to share this picture. She insisted on sitting on the gas tank. I think that officially makes us country folks now. You might be a redneck....

We finished our VBS the day of the dance recital and had our parent's night the next day. I had sooo much fun teaching this year. The lessons about Peter were great and the kids were so attentive and asked the best questions. I know what Jesus was talking about when he talked about child like faith, because kids really get it!

After the service we had a eatin' time (of course!) complete with all the chips, dip, sweets, and homemade ice cream you could eat. It was fabulous! I've finally accepted that weight loss living in Montrose is a lost cause. If God blesses us with caramel pies and homemade ice cream, who am I to turn away those blessings? :)

Once everyone had left Josh and his friend Matt went to rewire the sound system. My mom and I decided to take the kids and Daisy for a walk. (Because Daisy needed a walk, not because I had the energy to go for a walk!) We got halfway down the road and we saw the neighborhood dogs coming. Daisy started growling and I started pulling her leash. Before I knew what had happened she had gotten out of her collar and was running down the road after a pack of 4 or 5 dogs who were all twice her size. I took off in my skirt and wedge heeled sandals for a half a mile jog after her. Man I'm out of shape!! I thought I was never going to catch her. I finally did and thankfully my dad had brought the car to drive us back home. It had been a long day before that ever happened! As we pulled up and Josh and Matt came out I looked in the side mirror and realized I had put Kate's headband on when we left for the walk so I wouldn't lose it. I was looking so cute! :)


We left the next morning for Panama City and for what I termed "Wedding Week!!" Josh and I immediately abandoned my parents to go on a date to celebrate our anniversary. Oh yea, did I mention that we had our 8th anniversary in the midst of all of this? We went to eat at Red Robin and I had the best Chicken Tortilla soup ever. Then we went to a movie. We are very predictable. It was so nice though. We realized that except for our vacation a few months ago, we had not been on a date since last summer!!!

Then on Tuesday the festivities started. Well, I think they did. I honestly cannot remember what in the world we did on Tuesday. Okay, so on to Wednesday. We were in Panama City for Josh's sister's wedding and Leah and Brad had planned a day for the families to all meet. We went for a day of swimming at Frank Brown Park. They had the best kiddie pool and we had so much fun! Kate LOVED the water and would probably still be there if I would let her.

This is us before we went into the park. This was as far as my camera went. It got NOWHERE NEAR the water or me in a bathing suit. :)

Friday night was the big rehearsal and the Fidler 5 came complete with matching outfits. I promise it is genetic. My mom ALWAYS dressed us in matching outfits for special occassions and I just can't help myself!

The rehearsal went great and then we had a great supper at Black Angus. I think my kids used 25 packets of sweet 'n low and sugar a piece, but they had the time of their life eating at a fancy restaurant.

I wasn't going to put this picture on here because I didn't want to cause any jealousy, but....ha! The day of the wedding we all went to "get our hair did" and Josh's Uncle Jimmy was there to take pictures. He laughed hysterically every time he looked at me, so I thought if nothing else maybe I could provide a good laugh for you!!!

I don't want to steal any of Leah's thunder by posting pictures of her, but I just HAD to put at least one so you could see the beautiful bride and her handsome groom. And us. :)

The wedding was perfect and I was so proud of Josh. It was his first wedding to officiate and he did awesome! I will admit that I was a nervous wreck the whole time. Before it started I was so scared I was going to trip going up the steps. (I've stepped on my dress in every wedding I've been in, including my own.) Once I made it up the steps I was relieved and then I started worrying that the kids would get scared and not do their part. But they did their parts great! Eli yawned through most of the ceremony and Leah said that when they were on the kneeling bench they could hear Eli saying "Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Can I sit down now?" Once we were all in place, it hit me. Josh is preaching! So, then I had to pray the whole time he wouldn't mess up somebody's name. He didn't. Finally, I made it DOWN the steps without tripping and all was well in the world. Sarah got chocolate all over her dress, but it was AFTER the wedding so it was all good! :)


The "King of the Rings" and the Flower Girl

Me and my sharp dressed man. :)




All I asked for was a family picture of us all dressed up. Eli was thrilled, can't you tell?

The day before the wedding my sister had called and said that she and her husband Dillon were coming to P.C. to have my nephew Luke's 1st birthday party at one of the parks on base. My heart was so full I thought it might burst!!! Anyone who has family in the military knows what a rare and special treat it is to see all of your family in one weekend. It is even harder with us being in ministry because we hardly ever get weekends off. Anyway, I was way excited!!

Luke had a blast with his cake. To start with he mostly just liked playing in it. Finally, he realized he could eat it too. I was very glad I was the aunt and not the mama! He was some kind of a mess!!


Here is me with my gorgeous sister Jenny and the birthday boy. I was trying to take off my sunglasses, not strike a pose!

It is amazing how much life can happen in two weeks!!! Dance recitals, VBS, weddings, anniversaries, and 1st birthdays. How exciting that we got to share them all with our friends and families! Now...back to potty training. :)