Wasted

This week I came across a quote and I can't stop thinking about it. It says, "Grief doesn't change you, it reveals you." (John Green) Anyone who has grieved for any reason may feel differently. At times of loss, whether of a person, a job, an opportunity, or whatever, it is easy to feel as if you are a completely different person. You question, "Who am if I'm no longer the daughter of a Daddy?" "Who am I if I don't hold this position?" You may feel like you don't recognize yourself if you've let go of a dream you held for a long time.

Sometimes the pain of a loss leads to such despair, anger or bitterness that it seems to strangle the personality right out of you. It can seem like everything changes when those emotions begin to spill over to your relationships. But the truth is, it's not a change. It's a revealing.

It reveals how strong our faith is. It reveals who we are when we are tested, deprived, and snatched from our comfort zone. It reveals how we choose to treat people in the midst of chaos and dark days.

This revelation can be insufferable. It may show us things about ourselves we never wanted to see. We may go places spiritually and emotionally we never wanted to go. Often these times reveal to us more than any other time how much we need a Savior. Not just a Savior. A Redeemer.

On my Aunt's FaceBook page this week a lady posted about the day she gave birth to her stillborn child. My Aunt Kay, a nurse, told her, "God never wastes a hurt." She was remembering those words and what they meant to her, and as my eyes came across them, I knew God was speaking that to me, as well.  I know these words to be true. On more than one instance I've watched God take the most terrible, gut wrenching experiences and use them in a person's life to do beautiful things.

Speaking of beautiful things, this morning Josh preached out of Isaiah 61.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
² To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
³ To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

I was sharing with Josh how that has always been one of my favorite passages. The thought of God giving beauty for ashes. I always knew that in Biblical times when a person was grieving they wore sackcloth and covered their heads in ashes. But this morning Josh shared with me that the word "beauty" didn't translate well from the Hebrew and that it actually represents crowns placed on a person's head. That was a visual that took my breath away. The idea of God dusting those ashes of mourning from a person's head and replacing it with a crown.

*A symbol of healing. The grief has passed.

*A sign of achievement. By His Spirit, you have not only survived, but grown through a time you thought might crush you.

*A sign of responsibility. God never wastes a hurt. Your story is one that no one else can tell. It is a great responsibility to share with others. Someone is waiting for the hope that only you can offer.

To top off the two quotes and this sermon, Josh and his sister, Leah, sang a song this morning that speaks beautifully of the redemption we are offered. There is no worse feeling than to think that something has been wasted. Our money. Our investment in a relationship. Our time. Thankfully, God is a God who redeems even those things that feel wasted. God never wastes a hurt.