Overwhelmed

There are many times I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by exhaustion, bills, activities, chores, emotions, and sometimes, even people. When I was depressed "overwhelmed" was my word. I told myself often that I was overwhelmed. As God healed me He used the words of Psalm 61:2 to speak to me. "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I."  So many times now, He has led me to a rock that is higher than me. In times of need He has provided. In times of busyness He has given me rest. In times of discontentment and grumbling He has opened my eyes to just how blessed I am. 

This last week I've experienced a different kind of "overwhelmed".  Over and over God has reminded me of where He has brought me. Where He has brought me from. And it's overwhelmed me. When I say "God is good", I mean it. The other night I drove up to my house with fall decorations and a yard full of scooters, tricycles and balls. And I wanted to cry. I had just heard a heartbreaking story about a girl whose life will never be the same because of a tragic circumstance. And it occurred to me how unbelievably blessed I am that God's grace has covered so many of my bad choices and His Spirit has empowered me to avoid others. It is overwhelming.

I often share stories of the chaos and craziness of motherhood. I can't tell you we've outgrown that stage. Just today Kate didn't want to stay at school because she didn't like her shirt and my tire went flat as soon as I got home from the school. But, in the midst of the craziness and chaos, I have felt overwhelmed by the gift I've been given by having these little people in my life.  Their Daddy, too. I've given up asking God why He's been so good to me. I've just started thanking Him. I've learned it's all Him. 

Highlights of my week in motherhood:

* Wednesday night Eli wrote "E loves Mommy" on his paper at church. What can I say? Mommy loves E.  :)

* Today Kate asked me what she should name her kids. I know, this should be terrifying after her announcement that she has a boyfriend. But I love that she thinks being a Mommy is  a good thing. She decided on the names Jasper and Kyla.  

* Before deciding on names for her children Kate told me she wants to be a ballerina firefighter. I hope that means she will entertain people while the fires are being put out.

* At dance last night Sarah had a slap bracelet. I took it and was playing with it while I watched the girls dance. I realized I was bleeding and had somehow managed to cut myself with a slap bracelet. (I am talented like that.) Sarah was so upset and threw the bracelet away right there! This morning I had already forgotten all about it, but the first thing she asked me was how my hand was. She is so compassionate!

* Tonight, Eli asked if he could go grocery shopping with me. I decided to just take him because I feel like I don't spend as much one on one time with him. I couldn't believe he wanted to go grocery shopping, but he wanted to hold the list and mark stuff off. I think he may have also figured out he has a better chance of getting a few extra things that he really likes if he "helps" with the shopping. :)

* I'm in love with these babies. And overwhelmed that God loves me enough to put them in my life!