Lockdown

You've all heard the saying, "It's never too late to make a good impression", right? Is that how it goes? Or is it, "It's never to late to make a first impression" or a bad impression? Or a bad first impression? Or how about, "It's never too late to make the neighbors wish you'd go back to wherever you came from". How 'bout that one?

Let me tell you, I cannot leave my kids alone for 3.25 seconds. For starters, we've already had to put extra locks on two of our doors. You know those that they have on hotel doors? Yes, that is what we have because our 2 year old is an ESCAPE ARTIST!!! I'm talkin, Houdini ain't got nothin' on her. She especially prefers to escape while she is dressed only in a pull-up and I am in the process of getting dressed with, y'know, my jeans on with my pajama shirt and my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth. Because nothing says, "Hello, I'm the preacher's wife" like running through the yard, half dressed screaming "KATELYN ANN FIDLER!!!!! KATELYN ANN FIDLER!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!"

I guess I can't put all the blame on her. Apparently it is genetic. When my sister and cousin were two they escaped from a housefull of people and went for a tour of the neighborhood. They were later found at a neighbor's birthday party and it is still the family joke that those two were born to find the party. :)

Well, I decided we had to do something the day I saw Josh jump the fence in the backyard because Kate had headed down the street. Scared.me.to.death. I was also really impressed with his mad fence jumping skillz! I didn't know he could do that! So, now we are on lockdown. And by we I mean, of course, me and Josh. Seriously, it's like the childproof medicine bottles. We're the only ones who get locked out. Or in.

Daisy has reached a whole new level of rebellion. You cannot keep a good woman down. And you cannot keep our crazy dog in the yard. Y'all she has like 5 boyfriends here. The funny thing is that now, she runs away, finds these boys and brings them IN our fenced back yard!!!! I can't take the garbage to the dumpster b/c I can't figure out how to get out of the gate but all of the neighborhood dogs can get in. Today I pulled up in the driveway and saw her boyfriend watching me across the street. Next thing I know, here comes Daisy. They were totally like a couple of teenagers caught making out. Mercy.

I've learned that you can lock the kids in the backyard, but you can't keep them from screaming profanities and flipping off other children who ride by. Oh yes. When I got home from the store today I was informed that one of the neighborhood boys I am now raising had done just such a thing and the little girl's dad had made a visit to handle it. Isn't that great? I was planning to bake cookies to take to the neighbors, but hey, why do that when you can just have the kids cuss everybody out, right? And if that plan doesn't work for you, you can also have the kids throw PVC pipe in the neighbor's yard. We got to meet another neighbor tonight when he brought part of our sprinkler system back to us during supper. Taco night turned into the perfect opportunity to have the "we don't flip people off, yell cuss words at them or throw stuff in our neighbor's yards" talk. Have you had that one yet?

Here goes the neighborhood.....