Hug That Much Harder

April 28th would have marked the 18th birthday of my cousin, Cat. She was killed in a tragic accident at the age of 6. It seems completely unbelievable that so much time has passed. She would have graduated from high school this year and that fact is not lost on me. She died the summer before my senior year of high school. I still remember having the opportunity to lead my class in prayer at graduation and realizing as I stood on that platform that my senior year was a tremendous wake-up call to real life. At the time I felt like I  slammed head first into the ugly world of adulthood. A world where six year olds die. A world where heartache played out in courtrooms and news stories. Now I can look back and see that year more as a time of unwrapping a priceless gift. The gift of life.

The last few days I have just felt such an urgency to share with you that life is short and it is precious. I learned that at the age of 17. By the time I had my first baby I knew that I wasn't guaranteed the first day of kindergarten, middle school dances or high school graduation. Life is a gift and our days are borrowed. I've never been one for drama, but lately it almost pushes me over the edge. Sometimes when I hear arguing, conflict and complaining about silly things that will mean nothing in the long run I almost can't stop myself from screaming "STOP! Don't waste your breath or your days on this silly stuff!" It's not worth it y'all. I guess this year I had an extra reminder when I lost my Dad who was only 55. I will never forget standing by his casket and having someone tell me "It's too young. It's just too young."

I am as guilty as anyone else of not using my time as wisely as I should or not loving on people the way I should. I know how tempting it is to wait until tomorrow. Unfortunately I also know that sometimes we don't have that tomorrow. Tonight I went searching for an old e-mail and found myself pouring through messages from my Dad. When I found this one I knew I needed to share it. It's from May 3, 2007. It was so sweet to read this and have my Daddy tell me what I needed to hear as my heart has been seeking to embrace this gift we call life.


YOU SAID IT ALL , I LOVE THOSE PICTURES OF

THE KIDS, MAN I WANT TO HUG THEM AND YALL

LIKE YOU CANT BELIEVE. I MAILED A SUPRISE

TO ELI THIS MORNING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, NANNA

PICKED IT OUT AND I GOT IT TO THE POST OFFICE!

ENJOY THE KIDS NOW LIFE FLYS BY IN A HURRY

THE MORE THEY AGGRAVATE YOU HUG JUST

THAT MUCH HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YALL HAVE FUN AT THE ZOO AND GIVE ELI

A BIG HUG FOR ME ON HIS BIRTHDAY, HUG

SARAH TOO.

EMILY, PLEASE BE SAFE ON THOSE RURAL ROADS,

YOU AND JOSH BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lOVE

DAD