A Scandalous Freedom

I love the word scandalous. *Gasp*. I know that is not normally something you would hear from a preacher's wife, but let's face it, I am sure I have shared tons of things on this blog that you never thought a preacher's wife would say. Well, that is why I love the word scandalous. I think Jesus was scandalous. He hung out with sinners, treated women like they were human beings and not property, and He consistently offended the religious people. Scandalous, I tell you, scandalous!!

Why am I going on and on about the word scandalous? Because I am reading a book now titled "A Scandalous Freedom" by Steve Brown. My friend Karen has been telling me about the book for a couple of years now and how I needed to read it, but after a major crisis of belief I've been struggling with she gave up on me taking the initiative and just packed it up and made the 45 minute trip to bring it to me! Praise Jesus, because I sooo needed this book right now.

Let me back up and tell you about my crisis of belief. About a month ago I came across some homeschooling blogs that eventually led to me coming across some blogs of some people who are involved in what is known as the patriarchial movement. I became obssessed with these people. They are so holy. The women only wear skirts and dresses, they embrace their roles as wives and mothers, they homeschool like at least 8 children, make their own bread, and write eloquent, persuasive essays about how to be like them. I decided they were exactly how I needed to be. I needed to be more holy. Well, after a week of obsessive housecleaning, demanding that my 3 year old have a personal Bible reading time (seriously y'all, I went off the deep end), and doing everything in my power to support Josh I was...exhausted. And spiritually empty. Reading the things they wrote encouraged me that I should give up any dreams or plans I have that do not revolve around my husband and kids. That was a tough one to swallow as just months ago God began speaking to me about something I really thought He wanted me to do that has nothing to do with my family. It was so confusing.

So, fast forward a few weeks and after massive google searches and marathon blog reading, I realized that this group is in fact a cult. Now, I am not one to throw such words around lightly or to attack others beliefs. But I feel the need to say that because I feel that if I as someone who has been a Christian for 21 years and is a preacher's wife could be so misled then it really is not as difficult as we might think to get sucked in to these incredibly unbiblical ideas. I soon learned that certain members of this movement also believe that women should not be allowed to go to college or vote. They are definitely not allowed to work outside of the home. Now, being a stay at home mom who homeschools I would really not consider myself a feminist by any means, but by the standards this group holds I might as well be burning bras in the church parking lot.

What does this have to do with the book I am reading? Everything! "A Scandalous Freedom" is a book designed to set Christians free from the exact kind of bondage that the patriarchial camp is trying to put people in. Nothing made Jesus angrier than legalism or religious people creating new rules for Christians. Matthew 23:4 says, "For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their own fingers." Jesus told us that we should, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30. I feel like Jesus is saying that He never meant for it to be so hard. He didn't come and die on a cross for us so that we could daily suffer and never feel good enough. He is saying that He didn't make up all of those rules, man did!

I will give you a silly example of this. Modesty. Now, I am all about modesty. Mostly because I have had 3 kids and mother nature was not kind. :O) Really, I have strong convictions (beliefs) about modesty. I feel that I should be responsible in how I dress so as not to show off things that were not meant to be showed off! The thing about this movement is that they preach it as if it is equally important with baptism or taking the Lord's Supper. They are also extreme with it. There is a very big push to wear skirts and dresses only to bring feminity back. Now, I am a huge fan of skirts and dresses. They make me feel girly and pretty. But, I searched and searched the Bible and could not find a scripture that convinced me it was a matter of life and death that I wear skirts or dresses. They even had someone challenge ladies to wear their hair a different way everyday of the week. I was surprised that I did it for four days. I didn't know there was that much to do with my hair. But still, I kept praying, "God, is this really important to you?" Honestly, I felt like He told me that He wished I would find something more meaningful to think so much about besides my hair!!!

Josh tried to be supportive of my newfound ideas. He always tells me I'm hot when I get ready to go somewhere. (I am so sorry if that does emotional damage to know that a preacher talks that way: ). However, he quickly learned to say "and modest. You look hot and modest." Again, I am all for modesty. I feel that it is something very lacking in the church today, but again, the Bible just really doesn't spell out what that looks like for everybody. I give that as just one example. I know I am going off on a rant, but really freedom in Christ is so important to me. The fact that after just a week or so of being fed lies by some of these people, I felt that freedom slipping away was very scary.

As I struggled through my beliefs and questioned ideas I had been taught Karen kept saying, "Focus on what you do know." She is so deep and you should check out her blog. Anyway, I have to tell you that what I know is Grace. I say that with a capital G because it has really been that big of a deal to me. I know that I am a sinner who needed a Savior. I know that no matter how hard I try I can't earn my salvation or God's favor. He offered it freely when Jesus died for me. He only asked that I accept Him.

Y'all I get so excited about the fact that I have freedom in Christ that I would do a cartwheel if I knew I wouldn't end up in the ER. I am a Child of God, not because I go to church every time the doors are open, not because I read my Bible 8 hours a day or pray the right kind of prayers. I am soo not a Child of God because I am "good" enough, whatever that means. I am a Child of God because God chose me!!! Because He offered Grace.

I don't know if any of this made any sense, and I definitely will have to write again about the book. I just feel so passionately about this subject because after six years of depression, I finally experienced freedom. I finally saw that there was nothing left to lose. I had nothing to give, and God loved me anyway. I pray this encourages you and helps you find that freedom as well. Don't wear yourself out trying to live up to manmade ideals and to fulfill manmade rules. Seek Jesus. He will give you a scandalous freedom!!!!