At the Table

You sit at her table and breathe in the moment. Your friendship began during the days of zits and braces and unfortunate wardrobe choices. Through the years you grew to idolize her beauty and sense of fashion, and some things never change. Her home is perfectly decorated, warm and inviting. She just got a new haircut, and as always, she is gorgeous. Life has carried you both in different directions for many years and with 7 children between the two of you, time for phone calls or in person visits have been limited and chaotic at best. And it seems that in these many years with all of their BIG changes and hard roads that this moment, this sitting down at the table together, could be so awkward, so strained. But somehow, with the exception of the coffee brewing nearby, years disappear and you are both 14 again.

You share french fries and pretend they won't go straight to your hips. You talk about crisis moments that happened in AP English, remember your middle school principal who always wore tennis shoes with her dresses, and laugh at your naivete in all things relationship related. You talk about this person and that person and where they are now and what they meant to you then. And you cherish that there is another person on the planet who fills almost every memory you have of middle and high school, and that you shared sweet, innocent, coming of age moments together. 

All of the "firsts", you experienced together. You rode around in each other's first cars with all of their quirks, and listened to Jewel and cried about boys. She tried to teach you how to do your make-up and you taught her dance routines. You memorized Bible verses together and wrote speeches that you both listened to until you could quote each other's, word for word. You shared clothes and dreams and fears. You went to concerts together, camps together, on mission trips together. You ran laps together at band camp and poured gallons of water on your heads to survive the summer heat. You prayed together, confessed your sins to each other, and fell in love with Jesus together. You planned your futures together, from the early days of MASH to the more serious senior year decisions of college and onto careers and families.

She was the one on your wedding day who stopped by to check on you as you had your hair done and asked if you needed anything. And you remembered that you did not pack any underwear for your weekend. And most people would ask "who forgets that?", but she just went and bought you underwear. She stood in your wedding as a bridesmaid and smiled as you married the boy she sat next to in French class. She had put in a lot of good words for him when you weren't all that interested, but she knew. She knew he could be the right one for you. And a few short months later you traveled with another longtime friend to attend her wedding. You were tired and felt sick and she asked if you could be pregnant, but that still didn't even seem possible. You rejoiced to see her radiant on her wedding day, a beautiful bride, and you were excited to welcome her to the married club. And not too long after she returned from her honeymoon you shared with her what had seemed impossible to you-you were pregnant. Of course, she knew.

Life after that would become crazy and hard. You would no longer fill each other's memories in a constant way, but you would touch base in a way that reminded you there are some bonds that can't be broken by time or distance. You would reach out and share and comfort in that way that you can only do when there is enough history that no explanations are needed. No background stories to tell, you know them already. 

And now, you would sit at the table with her. Your paths have finally come within a more reasonable driving distance and you both are child free for the night. And for the first time in over a decade you have uninterrupted, one on one time with this precious friend whose life is so intertwined with yours you feel as if you can't remember which memories are hers or yours. And yet as that familiarity overwhelms you, you also realize what has been missed in these years. You no longer know her favorite drink or what movies she's recently watched. And while the 14 year old girl in you begins to reveal herself in giggles and memories, there is no doubt that those girls have grown into women. Women whose lives look decidedly different than the lives those 14 year old girls envisioned. Sometimes that is heartbreaking and challenging. Sometimes that is amazing and beyond what they could have known to want. Ten years ago you called and gave updates and exchanged pictures of your babies. You couldn't quite share all of the truth because neither of you were quite ready to face it yourself; that this grown up stuff was way harder than you were prepared for and everything didn't quite work out the way you had planned on lazy days lounging on the trampoline eating Taco Bell and dreaming about your future. 

But now, now you can face the truth. You've both walked through days that have made you stronger than you ever thought possible and more vulnerable than you could have imagined. And now, instead of baby pictures, you exchange your hearts and lay it on the line. And after all these years you still like each other's purses and clothes and now you have funny stories to tell about your kids.You still share a love for the Savior who originally brought you together and a love for words and writing.  But you also share the stress of being working moms and she listens and nods understandingly as you share your frustrations. You've both been hurt in ways you  never expected and you find healing has worked and is still working, a similar path in both of your lives. You have different burdens, but share a mutual concern and love for one another. Once upon a time you would have given sage advice that only 17 year olds who know everything can give. But now, you both just share and listen and let each other know, "I'm here."  

And as you leave she tells you that if you get lost to just call, and if you're in her radius, or even if your're not, she will come find you. And you thank her and drive off. And on a cool, fall night driving down the highway along the gulf, you can't help but be grateful that you are in each other's radius again. Because at that table you were nourished by more than french fries. You were nourished with the understanding that you've been given one of life's greatest blessings-a forever friend. And you laugh and cry over memories you had forgotten until she reminded you and you look forward to making new ones. And although just about everything has changed, nothing really has.

Photo Courtesy of Google Images