Just Call Me Martha Stewart. Or Bob Villa. Or Crazy...

In the past I have shared my fabulous cake making and decorating skills with you. I've also divulged my pest control secrets. I've even blessed you with my weight loss advice. So, I felt that it was time. Time to add home makeovers to my extensive list of "how to's" on this here blog. What can I say? I'm every woman.

I will start by showing you our playroom. Now, your first thought will probably be, 'Oh my gosh! I cannot believe she would show such a picture!' However, my first thought is that if you see what this room looks like now, ANYTHING I do will be an improvement. Don't you agree?

My cousin, Lauran, always posts blogs about the home projects she is working on and I so want to be her when I grow up. (Let's just pretend I'm not older than her.) She has the greatest ideas and does the cutest little collages to show them off. You can check out her blog at The Ellis Nest. But back to my room, I'm going to share my vision with you. The colors will be white, black and lime green. Yes, that red curtain, is going to GO! I have a bookcase that was my Dad's that I am in the process of spray painting lime green. I worked on it today but I'm going to have to buy some more paint. It makes me think of Kermit everytime I see it. I haven't decided if that is good or not. I will talk more about this room in another post and give you before and after shots. I hope. Please let there be after pictures!!!

Okay, the BIG project-the china cabinet. Recently my Mom asked me if I wanted my Grandma Strickland's china cabinet and I told her I would love to have it now that I have a little more room in my dining room. So, we picked it up today and began the work of stripping the old finish and sanding it down. Oh boy...

Overheard in the backyard of the pastorium:

Your friendly neighborhood preacher says,

"I'm glad I listened to my parents and got the high dollar stripper."

I hope these people learn how to take us. :)

It's very important that before starting any home project you take a pic of yourself in your work gear. Do I look like I know what I'm doing or what???

This china cabinet won't even be recognizable when we're done! And I really, really hope I mean that in a good way....

Stay tuned for after pics. Our families are coming to spend Easter day with us and these projects WILL be done!

*Playroom bookcase painted Lime Green.
*Dresser in playroom painted a fresh coat of white
*China Cabinet stained and new hardware in place
*Playroom chairs painted white and table painted white with chalkboard paint on surface.
*Kid's artwork framed and on playroom wall

To be continued....

Time Will Tell

Sometimes I feel like my heart has an owie. Life gets busy and provides a temporary band-aid, but then a moment hits and the band-aid gets ripped off. I predicted that my grieving would hit a new level after we moved, and I was right. It just doesn't seem right that I haven't seen my Dad yet. I can't imagine how confusing it is for little kids who lose a parent. I have literally cried every single time I've hit the red light at the end of the air force base headed to our house. Because it hits me then that I've been to Panama City and I didn't see my Dad. Of all things, K-Mart causes me problems. When we lived in Panama City we lived just a few blocks from K-Mart and I made frequent trips there. I would often see my Dad in there because he avoided the crowds at Wal-Mart like the plague. I would run into him picking up laundry detergent or his beloved Sprites. I've been in there several times now and one of the times I found myself wanting to go back to the aisle with the drinks just to look for him. And I had to remember he wouldn't be there.

So many people have told me that time will heal and while I know that time will definitely lessen the ache, I also have enough experience with heartache in this life to know that time doesn't heal. It's what I do with the time. It's the way that I cry out to the Father and let Him heal my heart.

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."
Isaiah 61:3

I recently came across this quote and it spoke to me. If you are in the same boat with me, we don't have to wait for time to heal us. The Healer is waiting on us...

"We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering: it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person...... the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus." -Oswald Chambers

Smile! I Think I'm on Candid Camera...

Welcome to "Speaking the Truth in Love and Laughter's: I Must Be on Candid Camera" edition. This edition will also include "Man, I Hope I'm NOT on Camera".

I HOPE I'M NOT ON CAMERA

* I have now TWICE driven the wrong way down two different streets in Port St. Joe. THE WRONG WAY people!!! Praise the Lord no one else was driving on those streets (although I might have gotten a hint if I had seen other people driving at me) and there were no collisions. I would also like to say there were no witnesses, but of course I never get away with that. Cortnee risked her life by riding with me the first time it happened and the second time, well...there was a whole work crew of men watching. Fabulous. I'm sure they had great fun laughing about the tourist going the wrong way. They may have even called me a northerner. Gasp! Lord help us all if we ever move somwhere like Miami.

I MUST BE ON CANDID CAMERA

*Back when Matt and Cortnee were here we took them to lunch at a great little Mexican place downtown (I didn't drive). There was an older couple sitting in a booth across from us who kept looking at Kate and smiling. On their way out they stopped and told us she looks just like their grandaughter. The lady then proceeded to ask Josh "You haven't donated sperm anywhere have you?" After cleaning up the Diet Coke that spewed from my nose, all I could do was LAUGH OUT LOUD! Did a complete stranger really just ask my husband if he had donated sperm? I wish I could have thought of something witty and clever to respond with, but it's 2 weeks later and I still haven't figured out how to respond to that one! It was truly one of those moments that I kept waiting for someone to jump out and say "Smile! You're on Candid Camera". They didn't.

*Yesterday we went by my Mom's and she gave me....get ready for this. A goose egg. At first when she told me about it I had visions of delivering a goose and raising it in my backyard. She assured me she had already boiled it. In fact, she had burnt it! She forgot it was boiling and it actually burnt. She wanted the kids to have it though so they could paint it and she thought they could just paint over the burnt spot. I took the burnt goose egg and we carefully transported it home, where I proceeded to accidentally drop it on the counter and crack it. The kids were asking me about it today and if it was going to hatch. I began detailing the trauma of the egg and at the exact same time Josh and I both said, "His goose is cooked!" Well, now the burnt, cracked goose egg is sitting in my kitchen. Does anybody else have this dilemma? I didn't think so...

I HOPE I'M NOT ON CAMERA

*This morning was a little rough. I was sick all last week and having trouble sleeping and my schedule (that has never been great to start with) got all messed up. By last night I was EXHAUSTED as was exhibited by the fact I was in bed at 10:00. I NEVER go to bed that early and Josh was truly in shock. I thought that meant I would get up this morning with bells on ready to start the day, but it just didn't happen. I was dragging. To make matters worse I am in desperate need of a haircut so my hair has gone straight into a ponytail everyday. Then, I couldn't find a thing to wear. Do you also have this problem? It seems to only happen to me on Sunday mornings. I had actually tried to prepare last night and lay my clothes out, but I realized this morning my skirt had a stain on it. So, it was back to square one and nothing was working right. I finally decided on a dress, but it is one of those with a slip dress that is attached. Do you know what I'm talking about? Difficulty level for getting this dress on: 8. Oh.My.Word. I must have tried 10 times to put the thing on and everytime I would miss an armhole or get the whole thing wrapped around my neck. I was frustrated to the point of verbal expression bringing Josh running down the hall breathless asking, "Are you okay?" No. I was not. I was way frustrated with my dress. By the time I got dressed this morning it looked like my cloest had thrown up on my bed. Then, Sarah's dress didn't fit. Apparently Kate's foot just went through a massive growth spurt and her dress shoes that she just wore last Sunday didn't fit. She ended up wearing tennis shoes with her dress. I also realized when I was fixing her hair this morning that she had POURED SPRITE in her hair. She got a ponytail too. As we walked to church I observed that we were looking like some serious riff raff and made myself feel better that everybody will have new clothes and shoes for Easter next Sunday.

OH NO! I AM ON CAMERA!

*So, I got to church and got over caring what everybody looked like. We had a great time in Sunday School and before service started I made my rounds to speak to everybody. A man I hadn't met yet introduced himself and I immediately recognized his name. He is the associational director. That was fine until I walked away and heard him tell Josh that he wanted to get a family picture before he left! I made him promise he wouldn't take any pics of our feet and he agreed. :) We got another surprise today when Josh's grandma, Mammy and his Uncle Jimmy and Helena came today. We had no idea they were coming and it was great to see them. Of course, that also meant more pictures. Of all days, y'all. Of all days. :) By the way, if you belong to the Northwest Coast Baptist Association and you get some kind of newsletter or something with my family's picture on it, please pass the word that we don't always look like that....

MORAL OF THE STORY: Always dress like you will be in pictures, look for wrong way signs while driving, don't burn your goose eggs, and always be prepared to give an answer when someone asks if you've been helping repopulate the earth!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: The picture of the clothes on the bed is a reproduction. I actually cleaned off the bed and made it up when our surprise company came by. I then threw the clothes back on the bed while Josh was napping to provide a visual for you. In case you are wondering, it looked even worse this morning. In case you are also wondering, yes my husband does think I'm weird. :)

Seems Like Yesterday

Jenny and Dillon, 5 years ago today you said "I do!" It was such a fun, special day. I felt honored to be a part (and a BIG part :) of it. You are a beautiful couple and two of my favoritest people. I knew Dillon was meant to be my brother the minute he started singing karaoke. :) We love you both and Luke and Lyla too!! We pray that God blesses you with MANY more sweet years together!!

P.S. I had to add this picture because it is one of my all-time favorites. This is me and my Mama watching the Father/Daughter dance. I was 25 months pregnant and we were both bawlin' like babies. I'm so happy the photographer captured this moment. :)

Weddings on the Brain....

I've been thinking a lot about weddings lately and unfortunately I realized tonight it must have been a subconscious thing. I totally forgot today was my sister's wedding anniversary. I forget EVERY single year. I feel terrible about it. The weddings on my brain could also be due to the fact that I missed church Sunday night because I was sick and ended up watching a marathon of shows called Rich Bride/Poor Bride and Platinum Weddings. I know, if I was a good preacher's wife I would tell you that I spent that time in intensive Bible study. I should've. The thing is, we didn't have cable for the whole 3 years we were in Mississippi b/c we would have had to have a satellite and we decided to get one for the internet instead. Well, anyway, I did not miss TV at all while we were there, but as soon as I turn it on now I get totally sucked in. It's terrible.

When Josh and I took our "honeymoon" last year there was a night that I stayed up after he fell asleep and watched a show called "Intervention". Have you see this? It is the saddest, most depressing, saddest, and did I mention saddest? show I've ever seen. It's about families confronting their loved ones who have addictions, and I tell ya, only I could end up on my honeymoon staying up half the night bawling my eyes out watching this show.

Well, I've learned my lesson and I don't even start watching that show, but Sunday I did not know better and I allowed myself to get sucked into the excess, pouting, fit throwing and party throwing known as reality wedding shows. This is thing. I am so over weddings. Really, I loved my wedding and had a lot of fun planning it, but by the time the 9 months of planning were coming to a close, I would have been content to wear a garbage bag in a back alley as long as it meant I would get to leave as Mrs. Joshua Fidler. Seriously. There was a time when I worried that I would miss the planning portion of that event, but I didn't. Not once. It was not a bad experience at all, I was just over it, you know? So, I normally don't watch those shows, but I just happened to stumble across one and then you know what happened. 8 episodes later I was sitting in the recliner thanking God I don't have any weddings to plan in the near future and wanting to put some brides in the time-out chair. Really, shouldn't people have to at least have the emotional maturity of an 8 year old before they get married?

I won't get started on that soapbox, but all of this thinkin' about weddings did make me miss one thing. Not the dress, the cake or the flowers. Not even the gifts. I started missing that phase in the relationship. That excitement, that time when all Josh and I wanted out of life was just to be together. I was not lying when I said all that mattered to me was to be Mrs. Joshua Fidler. I was 20 years old the day I received that title, and 9 years later I am still exaclty where I want to be. With him. Of course, now being with him includes 3 kids, a dog, a church congregation, and assorted neighborhood children who stop by for supper. :) It's crazy to me that we thought getting married would give us more time together! As the villain from Scooby-Doo would say, "If it weren't for those meddling children and pesky jobs our plan would have worked!" Ha!

I guess what I'm getting at is that I miss the days when it was just all about us. Watching the brides plan their weddings and stress out about place settings and throw fits to get a $4,000 cake (btw, once she saw the cake at her reception she kept leaning against the 5 foot stand it was on and I just couldn't watch because I knew that if she had my luck that cake was going to end up either on the floor or on her) I wanted to tell them, "Just enjoy your fiance. Just be thankful for this person who loves you." One of the brides was given $125,000.00 worth of jewelry by her fiance for her wedding day and I thought, 'Should I feel jipped that I didn't get that?' I don't guess I should, because I don't. First of all, I can't keep up with $10 jewelry I get from Wal-Mart. Secondly, it wouldn't matter if it was 125 million dollars worth of jewelry, it wouldn't matter to me if it weren't from Josh. (Although if someone feels led to bless me with that jewelry, Josh and I would both appreciate it. :)

I couldn't think about my relationship with my groom, without thinking about my relationship with Jesus. Is that weird? I know it might be to some people, but it is actually the kind of relationship the Bible compares our relationship with God to. Hosea 2: 19 says, " I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord." Earlier in verse 16 we are told ,"And it shall be in that day,' says the Lord, 'That you will call Me 'My Husband', And no longer call Me 'My Master".

I didn't marry Josh because he gave me millions in jewels, and I also didn't marry him to serve as his slave. I married him because I didn't want to spend a day of life without him. In the same way I don't follow Jesus becasue He blesses me or gives me everything I want. And He didn't die for me so that I could be His slave. He died for me so that I wouldn't have to spend a day without Him. The reason I serve Josh and my Bridegroom is because there is lots of work to be done here on this earth. Sometimes, as a wife and in ministry, it is easy to feel like a servant. To do things out of obligation and necessity. My prayer is that I still do it because I love both of them like crazy and at the end of the day I just want to be with them. And the times we get to wear fancy clothes and eat cake are really sweet bonuses. :)

The Terribly Terrific 2's

Katelyn Ann Fidler, you are 2 and these days you go by your full name a lot more often that you used to. The only way I know how to describe this time in life is "they were the best of times and the worst of times". Just kidding. These are definitely not the worst of times, but man, you wear me out!!!

Yesterday I walked (literally) into a kitchen covered in eggs. Broken ones. Ooey, gooey, cracked eggs on my floor. You took advantage of my preoccupation with the cleanup to climb on the counter and decorate it with blue marker. A marker I had placed on top of the refrigerator, and I don't even want to entertain thoughts of how you got it. This morning you greeted me by telling me you were "stinkin' wet" and we had no wipes because you had pulled them all out yesterday. While I was wetting some paper towels you decided to float your bath toys in the toilet. I had been awake for about 20 minutes and I was ready for a nap.

You love the freedom of our new, fenced yard, but you like to test your boundaries. I don't know why I'm surprised. I haven't given birth to a person yet that doesn't like to test their boundaries. You are sneaky, sneaky. Sarah was as busy as you when she was 2, but she was noisy. I ALWAYS heard Sarah and if I didn't, I knew something was up. You are quieter, so sometimes it takes me longer to realize when you have slipped off and gotten into something. 90% of the time if you go missing, you're in the kitchen. Breaking eggs, spilling tea, dropping bowls of cake frosting on the floor and splattering them all over the appliances. That was the case with my mandarin orange cake that has now been renamed "The Fell Down Cake". Your other favorite place to sneak off to is the bathroom. You LOVE to wash your hands. I was worried that after you smashed your finger you wouldn't want to wash them. No worries. You want to wash them ALL THE TIME!

I haven't been able to potty train you yet, but you've figured out how to put the TV on cartoon network and you just set the alarm on my new phone, something I don't even know how to do. :) Speaking of phones, you also stuck close to the guy who installed our house phone line asking him every few seconds, "Whachu doin???"

The thing about being a Mama is that you do all of the things which insure that I don't get to sit down for more than 6 minutes at a time (without reaping the consequences!!) and that my life is one of continual cleaning and hollerin' out the back door "KATELYN ANN FIDLER!!!!!!!!!", and yet I still adore you. Because while being 2 means lots of chaos, messes and stress, it also means the best little hugs and kisses. It means that when I pull your shirt over your head and say, "Where is Kate?" you laugh and say, "That's too funny." Oh how I will cry the day you get big and say, "Mom, you're a dork" because I know it will come. Today when I finally managed to get out of my pj's and into my uniform of jeans and t-shirt you said, "You pretty." It melted my heart and made me forgive you for squeezing half a tube of toothpaste into the sink. As Mamaw would say, you're a sack o' sugars and I could just eat you up!!

In six months you will be three and in it will be the first time in 8 years that I won't have a 2 year old or younger in my house. No diapers, no strollers, no baby car seats. No cribs, no toddler beds, no pacifiers. I'm sure those voids will be full of homework, ballgames, sleepovers and big kid toys. I'm hoping those years might even include some naps and the ability to watch a whole movie. :) But right now I'm just gonna soak up the hugs and kisses, the Kate Swahili, and holding your chubby little hand. By the way, you got out of bed last night and came and laid on the floor while me and Daddy watched TV. It was LATE and I told your Daddy that Sarah and Eli would have never gotten away with that. He smiled and agreed. Then he let you stay there. You have him totally wrapped around your chubby little finger...but you know that. :)

The Ministry of Mac and Cheese

When I was little I wanted to be a lawyer, a writer, a bus driver, or a back-up dancer for Tina Turner. None of those panned out.

Well, as I got older and began to grow in my faith I had a new dream: to lead women's conferences and speak God's Word to thousands of women. Then I became a Mom and decided that instead I just needed to ATTEND like a thousand conferences and figure out what the heck I was doing.

Well, throughout all my years of dreams (diverse and a little crazy as they might be) there was one constant. I wanted to be a Mom. And not just any Mom. I wanted to be the Mom that all the neighborhood kids wanted to be at my house eating home baked cookies and playing in the backyard. Seems that one of my dreams may be coming true. Our new neighborhood is FULL of kids and they all have felt very welcome to frequent our backyard. In fact, we had my family over for supper the other night and while we sat at the table we watched as 4 or 5 kids we didn't know came in and out of the yard. There were also a couple I had already met. One in particular had shared a picnic lunch with my kids a few days earlier and I learned that he really likes macaroni and cheese. He was positively devastated when I ran out and I told Josh that we would have to keep the pantry stocked from then on. I haven't met his Mom and I'm not trying to pass judgement, but we were told by some of the church members before we came here that many of the kids in this neighborhood come for church on Wednesday night because it is the only hot meal they get other than at school. That makes me sad.

Well, today has been the laziest day I've had in awhile. I started feeling sick a couple of days ago and by today I was at the point of staying in my pj's and praying for my kids to entertain themselves. Josh got a movie for the kids and one for us and we were watching the kid's movie when there was a knock at the door. It was two of the neighborhood boys and Sarah was quick to tell them we were having pizza for supper and they were quick to say they could stay to eat with us. :) It was a frozen pizza in the oven and I wasn't sure if it would be enough for everybody so I threw on a huge pot of mac and cheese. It was a hit. One of the boys commented, "I wanna eat here every night!" For a second my heart did a dip and I thought, "Oh my gosh, they're like the neighborhood dog that Josh fed and then couldn't figure out why we couldn't get him to leave". Then I grinned. The idea that a frozen pizza and some mac and cheese could bring such happiness was a nice one.

As I sat at the table chewing my pizza God began to work in my heart. To show me that this is what He has asked of me right now. You see, with the move I had begun to ask Him to show me where He would have me to serve, what He would have me to do here. In our church and our community. Old dreams of writing and speaking and other things began to take center stage in my mind, but I knew God was telling me that this is my season in my home. Those kids didn't come because me and Josh are cool. They came because of my own children. The season of life when neighborhood boys stop by for mac and cheese is now and it is obvious that some adult attention is very needed in their lives. It is tempting to decide that I don't have time for them. I have my own kids. It is tempting to want to become involved in a more high profile kind of ministry. It's even more tempting to want to find someone else to pawn my own kids off on and sit on the couch and watch a CSI marathon. But right now it is overwhelming my heart that when I prayed for God to show me what to do, He brought opportunity to my door (literally) in two dirty, barefoot boys who like mac and cheese.

I don't know what God has asked of you, but I pray tonight that we wouldn't let the enemy convince us it's not as important as what someone else is doing. I pray that we will be sensitive to exactly where He would have us be and realize that He can do what He pleases, where He pleases, with whom He pleases. As my heart began to ponder bigger, greater things, I discovered that God can do great things in my kitchen. His love is wherever His people are and some times all it takes is a little mac and cheese.